My daughter said she wanted "diamonds" for Christmas last year. I don't know what a then 9-year old would want with diamonds! However, the family got wind of it and decided to purchase real diamond jewelry for her for Christmas. I knew she wasn't responsible enough for it but they wouldn't listen. She got diamond earrings (they are more diamond chips than anything) and a real ruby necklace and matching earrings. Grandma made her PROMISE to take good care of them. I think she spent quite a bit on everything.
I had her place them in their boxes and she is supposed to keep them in her drawer and when she wears them she's supposed to take them off and put them directly back in the box.
Well, evidently she's been playing with them and I haven't noticed. She wore them to class one day and I didn't notice and then took them off and set them on the dining room table. One of the earrings went missing and she didn't tell me. I only found out because I FOUND the earring. One of her ruby earrings is missing as well and the necklace was missing because she was playing with it with her dolls. I found the necklace among her doll things one day.
I'm thinking of boxing up the jewelry and keeping it in a safe spot until she's older and more responsible (she's 10 now). I've been going back and forth between telling grandma what happened since I told her grandma she wasn't responsible enough for nice jewelry before Christmas and she didn't listen. What would you do?
Thanks mamass! I love the idea of HER jewelry box in MY room. I'm going to get an inexpensive jewelry box and have her put her special jewelry in it and then I'm going to keep it in my room.
I mentioned what happened to Grandma and she blamed ME! She said "well you should have watched her better." Excuse me, but I didn't buy them for her and I don't need an EXTRA job of watching her jewelry. I told Grandma that maybe she should keep the jewelry at her house for those special occasions when my daughter is over there. She suddenly changed her tune and said "well, hopefully she'll be better about it this year." LOL!
My daughter is 16 and has some nice pieces of jewelry. She has a jewelry box with things she wears a lot but she does not wear the very expensive pieces often and especially to school
I keep a special jewelry box of hers in my room. This just keeps honest people honest as far as the jewelry "getting legs" and disappearing.
I would say the earrings are a given that will get lost some day while she is wearing them. The other stuff would be in a jewelry box in my room that is off limits since she has proven she is not old enough to care for them correctly. They could have been left outside in the toys and someone found them and walked off with them. I think she has shown you what the choices are.
My daughter has some nice stuff, but mostly stuff from Kohl's - even then it was $50 or so! I have a jewelry armoire that is not full, so I gave her a drawer and a cabinet to use. She may get her own armoire soon though!
this is a no brainer, put it away. When a special occasion arrises pull it out & help her put it on. As soon as she arrives back home from the special occasion, you assist her in taking it off & putting it back in the jewelry box & you put it in your room, till next special occasion....
What my mom did was keep all our real jewelery in her room with her jewelery and let us take it out and wear it for special occasions only. I think when we were teenagers she let us keep it ourselves. At 10 I was allowed to pierce my ears and wear only gold post earrings for about a year until they fully healed (I had a couple of pair). Around 11 or 12 I had a lot of costume jewelery and rhinestone earrings and the real stuff was saved for special occasions.
In your situation she has proved she is not ready to take care of it herself so you keep it and she can ask you if she can wear it (and make sure you see her put it away). In a year or two see is she is more responsible. It is up to you if you tell Grandma--I would with my mom but we see eye to eye on most parenting stuff.
Just put it in your jewelry box.
When she asks to wear it, you decide if she can. When she gets home, you take it and put it away.
LBC
Heck, I'm 26 and I do this with my own diamond! I only wear it for special occasions. Perhaps you could tell her that it's special and if she wants to wear them at holidays or church (if you go) she may. Tell her that they are special for special use and not for ever day wear. Hopefully then Grandma would understand you're trying to keep them safe and nice. Good luck!
I wouldn't leave it in her room. She's not old enough to appreciate it.
That's not to say she's a bad kid, but it's not $2.99 bling you can pick up at Claire's and it doesn't matter if it gets lost.
She just doesn't appreciate the difference.
I would mention it to grandma. I wouldn't tell her that buying jewelry is off limits, but that you have to put it away to keep it safe and she can only wear it on special occassions.
I would keep it in a jewelry box that she can't get to. She will appreciate it much more when she's a bit older.
I got my friend's daughter diamond earrings when she turned 13. I didn't pay a lot for them but it was kind of a test to see if she would take care of them. I was hoping she would. She lost them within 6 months. She lost one at school and who knows what happened to the other one. I didn't buy her more good jewelry until she graduated from high school.
Play jewelry is fun. But good jewelry isn't to be played with.
Keep it safe and you won't have to worry about it.
Best wishes.
Your post sounds so familiar. The same thing happened with my daughter. She lost one of the diamond earings my MIL bought for her. I found it about a year later in the closet door track after having feared that I must have vacumed it up. Yes, put it away! I did, otherwise, she would have lost them again.
time to put it all away.....she broke your trust & that's it.
when she is older, she will thank you.
Yes take them away and keep them put up. Give them to her to wear for special events or pictures then have her give them right back to you when you arrive home. She will thank you when she is much older to still have them.
I would get her her own special jewelery box (maybe for Christmas this year... hint hint.) and keep it in YOUR room. Or, get one that has a locking compartment and make sure that you keep the key and let her have it in her room instead... That way she can still have a sense of ownership without the risk of losing it.
I would also get her some pretty jewelery that LOOKS real, but isn't... At her age, she won't know the difference. I wouldn't lie to her and tell her that it's real, but it will still look just as pretty.
Keep them in your jewlery box and when she wants to wear them she must ask you first. That is what I did with our DD when she was too young. I would not let her wear the nice stuff to school. Shannon could wear it to church and special events and such but not school.
Yup, she's proved she can't take care of it. Put it away for when she's older.
Different children are different, and she has proven she just wanted sparklies to play with. They could have gotten her any sparkly jewelery and she would have been as happy. I was given nice things and didn't appreciate them. I wish MY parents had held them for me until I was 21 because I just would not have taken care of them nor really appreciated them earlier!
My older daughter was like me, and she also does not have some jewelery we did put aside and gave her back as a teen but it was still too early! They just didn't mean anything to her (she regrets not having them now - relatives gave her precious jewelery when she was young, and they are now deceased).
On the other hand, another daughter was different, and she took meticulous care of her jewlery and still has things she was given at 7! So - we are all different. And so, yes - put your daughter's precious jewelery away until you know she will take care of them, just letting her wear them for special occasions under supervision.
I would not keep it in her room if it is not a "toy". My grandmother let me play with her jewelry when I was a kid. Since it was given to me as a toy, I treated it that way, prying the glass jewels out of the settings and taking the fake pearls off the strings. Now all I've got left is a box of broken jewelry!
Put it away and break out the cubic zirconium and rhinestones.
Next time someone asks about present ideas, have them get her a jewelry making kit that has lot's of sparkling beads in it.
She'll love it and it won't matter if anything gets lost or stolen.
I go along with the majority and put what you have up. When a special occasion arises bring it out and when it it over put it away. She has proven that she is not ready to "care" for the nice things yet.
I had a neighbor who bought her daughter a nice gold bracelet for her daughter and let her wear it and she promptly lost it in a pond playing. Not a good thing.
My daughter had nice pearl earrings and she wouldn't wear the earrings. Come to find out a neighbor kid took one of them and she would tell me until the kid moved away.
So sometimes when we want our daughters to have nice things others are jealous and want them too and take them. But you did warn the grandma. If grandma asks where is x y z you can have the daughter tell grandma what happened to them - real life consequence.
Maybe by the time she is 16 she will be ready to take care of them.
The other S.
You need to explain to her the value of this jewelry in a way she can understand. For example, say, "This necklace and set of earrings cost as much as 50 books! (or 20 other kinds of necklaces, or a Wii system, etc...something she can relate to and values) and explain to her that if she doesn't take care of it, she won't have it anymore.
That's one lesson my parents ingrained in me at a very young age...if you take care of your things, they'll last. Needless to say, because I learned it so young, I still have some cherished things from my youth...books, a few favorite toys, some clothes, etc...all in great condition. I have all the jewelry I've ever had, because I had a jewelry box to keep them in and that was the ONLY place they were ever stored.
Maybe get her a nice jewelry box and a fake set to "play" with...the real set to wear on special occasions.
PUT IT AWAY!! I was given something super special when I was younger. I was one of the rare responsible kids. Stupidly I wore my special charm bracelet to school one day. Took it off for gym and put it in MY locked gym locker! When I went to get dressed I found that someone had stolen it!!! I was devasted!!! I couldn't figure out how someone could get in my locked gym locker. with my own lock no less!! I was heart broken!!!
The answer is most definitely YES!!!!!! Let her wear it for special occassions or at your discretion. But she is too young yet.
I'm thinking a little differently on this one.......
If I bought it for her, I would take it away, put it with my jewelry and only let her wear it for special occasions.
Grandma bought it for her (after she was warned).......maybe you should see what her thoughts are? I mean how expensive do you think this stuff really is? I'm more into natural consequences...ex....she doesn't take care of it, she loses it and doesn't have it anymore. Then no one will want to buy her anymore for Christmas or birthdays etc because they know she will not take care of it and then eventually she'll get it and start taking care of her stuff. The fact is that YOU are not out any money so what's the big deal? IMO 10 yr old is old enough to know better and be responsible for nice things, so if you do it for her, what is she learning? I'd let her lose them and learn from that experience.
I bought my girls jewerly boxes for their first Christmas their nice jewerly goes in there & it's not to be touched till they ask me or I put it on them for special occasions when they are old enough to put it on take it off then they can have their jewerly boxes till then they are put away in their dressers.
put it away. tell grandma if she asks what she wants for christmas that she cant have any real jewelry b/c she was irresponsible with it. keep it in a safe spot where she won't get to it. GL
M
