Should I Let 3 Yr Old Sleep with Me

My opinion is that I would put him back in bed. I know from experience that this could be a hard habit to break. Unless he has just had a terrible dream, or there is a loud thunderstorm keeping him awake, I would have him go back to sleep in his own bed.

My first question would be = how long is Daddy gone? If it’s only a few nights, I see no harm.

If it’s more than a week, your son may become adapted to your bed, and harder to get back in his own.

We're a co-sleeping family but my kids now sleep in their own beds, in their own rooms. My youngest is 4. When Dad is out of town I absolutely let him sleep with me if he wants to. He sees it as a super treat that he gets to sleep with me. Our routine continues as far as talking and reading before falling asleep. I wouldn't ever change this "tradition" we have.

My kids know full well that once Dad gets home, its back in their own beds. Never a problem.

My daughter is 12, and STILL wants to sleep with me when she is sick. I love it that we are so close. If either of my kids are sick, they sleep with me and my DH encourages it.

By the way in reading your post wherein you said “I felt a small little body hugged up against me”…. I just smiled! That must have been such a wonderful feeling!!

You know your son best. What works for one family, may not for you.

My married friends often sleep with their child (ren) when their husbands are away for the night. No problem at all. Nice and cozy. Sleeping with our children does not turn them into monsters or anything, just builds loving relationships with them.

My husband used to travel during the week and I would let my kids sleep with me once in a while, and I had no problem getting them to sleep in their bed. Every kid is different. When my youngest was sick last year I let him sleep with me because he was having such a hard time breathing and I wanted to keep an eye on him, he got into the habit of coming to bed with me and I had to break him of it, but it was not difficult. I just made him go into his bed. Even today if one of my kids are having a hard time sleeping due to illness or a bad dream I let them sleep with me, and they go right back to sleeping in their bed. It depends on your preference as a mom. I like the fact that my kids know if they need me I am always available. Sometimes they need the comfort of just being close to you.

We always let our daughter sleep with us when she is sick, that is the ONLY time she is allowed to, she is 3 1/2 and knows this rule! If she wakes up due to a storm, I will lay on the couch with her until she falls back asleep. Do what works for you, if you explain to him that once dad comes home he has to go back to his bed, that may work!!
Good Luck, and hope everyone feels better :-)

We let our 3yo join us in the morning, she just has to wait until after 5:30, cause she kicks... =) Kids are super smart. Talk to him today and let him know that it is ok for him to join you once in a while, but that when daddy is home, he needs to stay in his bed, or whatever you decide. I know kids who are 6 and older who still need the occasional night time snuggle, so it is up to you and your family.
Good luck!
R.

My husband travels frequently, and I allow my 2 youngest to co-sleep WHEN he is out of town. However, I did just purchase a big King bed to accomodate us all so that we all have enough space to sleep well. I make a big deal about the day he will be leaving, and also the day he returns reminding them about returning to sleep back in their own bed. We get books and read together. I absolutely love having them near me.

He needs to stay in his bed. I recall as a child wanting to sleep with my mom for security even though I had a bed. I was one of those kids that climbed in and one day I was told I had to stay in my bed. It was a little hard but I did learn to sleep by myself. Can't say if my dad put his foot down or my mom decided it was time for me to move. So don't start something that you will have to undo just because it is easy. You know that thing about habits and breaking them.

Besides kids do thrash about in their sleep and no one really gets rested for the next day.

The other S.

We always slept with Mom when Dad was traveling. Some kids want to continue, I grew out of it. But...Your 3 year old may be a bit young to understand why it's not allowed when Dad is here.

You will find people arguing for both sides and I don't think there's a right or wrong...just what suits your family and your sleep patterns. If they're sick, they may need more comforting and security now. My brother and SIL enjoyed their kids climbing into bed with them...as he said, they won't be doing it when they're 18:-)

J.:

NOT ONLY NO BUT HECK NO!!!!!!!

If you do this - this will start him wanting to sleep with you EVERY night. TRUST ME!!!

You can gently tell him that this is YOUR bed and he has to sleep in HIS bed. If he has a problem, he can come get you - but he CANNOT sleep in YOUR bed. I go to my boys' beds if they have a problem and lay with them - but they don't come INTO my bed.

I love my men to death - my youngest is a thrasher in his sleep - I've had black eyes and black and blue shins from his arms and legs (this is sleeping in a tent with them!!) when he turns over - his arms are W.!!! And I tell them that I love them to death but they cannot sleep with me in my bed. I am ALWAYS here if they need me, but they may not sleep in my bed.

Hope this helps!

Bad habit to start.........once they are there, they don't want to leave and it's a BIG problem getting them back.......

If he doesn't feel good, then you might camp out in his room until he falls asleep, but letting him in your bed is a bad idea.....

Save yourself some hard times and put him back in his bed.......

Take care.

Our 4 year-old has been sneakily getting into bed with us since we moved him out of his crib at 2.5 years. It's to the point where I just wake up, and he's next to me.

It honestly doesn't bother me as much as other people. It's a bad habit that will definitely need to be corrected, but for now, with all the other stresses in life, I admit it makes me feel a little better. It drives my husband nuts, and I will say that doing it all week will make the habit harder to break.

Good luck - hope you all get to feeling better soon.

I have a three year old who also climbs into bed with me and now the hubs (now that he's home in the evenings) EVERY night. Sometimes it's 10pm, other times it's 5am. That being said, I would let her sleep with me, but she always starts out in her bed.

In your situation I do not think it's a huge deal if he ends up in bed with you, but don't be surprised if you allow it now and then reject it next week that it doesn't backfire and end up in crying/a fight/etc. At their age they do not understand that it's okay 'sometimes' to sleep with me and other times it's not.

Why not sleep with him instead?

I think it may start a habit that is hard to break if you let it go on. If you think he can understand, and is ready for "logic," you could talk with him and explain that normally he can't sleep with you, because it's too crowded, but that if he does not feel well, since there is room, he can do it for a few days only if he promises that he won't cry when he can't do it any longer. My children could have understood and agreed at three, but I think that's not always the case.

So, if you think that reasoning is beyond him right now, I would move him back. My grandson got in that habit, and then, after a separation refused to sleep in a room without someone else. Even when his mom was gone , he slept in a daybed in our room rather than alone. It took him until he was about 6 or 7 to sleep in his own bed, even though he always had one -- even a race car bed!

S. Toji