Just looking for opinions and maybe this is my story type advice.
I have 2 girls a 9 yr old (10 in June) and a 2 year old (3 in April) and we have a 3 bedroom house. We currently have the girls in their own room, but I had always planned to have them together eventually so we could get our office back and so that I don't have everything in my closet or the family room that should be in the office.
Now the 9 year old REALLY wants to get bunk beds and have them in the same room and I really want to do this, but my husband is fighting the idea. His reasons is that he had always wanted to share with his brothers and when they finally did share a room he hated it when he was older.
The 9 year old is a very good sleeper and can sleep through a lot, and the 3 year old is pretty good, but still gets up at least once in the night. I don't think she would bother her sister though, she would just come into our room like she does now.
What advice can you give me? Should I just leave them where they are and suck it up, or go ahead and put them in the same room?
The only thing is if I get the bunk beds I wanted to get full sized and if I did that it would not fit in the 2 year olds room so we would need to buy another bed down the road if we split them again.
They play great together now and for the most part share the toys so I am not worried about that, but it may change the older she gets. I never had my own room growing up and it never really bothered me, so I don't know why he is so against it.
Thanks everyone, all good points to consider. There is no other place for an office. We have a very small house 1000 sq feet, and the closets do not work for desk space. Basically we have the desk in the family room, the filing cabinet in my youngest daughters closet, and the books etc, in my closet. It really kind of sucks,
LOL I agree with Jo. Give it a try and if it doesn't work out, separate them later. And it's not as if the bunk beds would be a waste - if it doesn't work out, let the older daughter keep the bunk beds because it's always nice to have an extra bed for when friends sleep over.
Well it isn't like you are chopping the room off your house. If they hate it down the line you can move them back in their own rooms.
I grew up with six in our family and we all shared a bedroom (boys and girls) until the boys hit Jr. High. At that point, the girls got one room and the boys in another. To this day I believe it is the reason why my family is close to each other. We may have hated each other as children at times but overall we played well together because of it. I would have never given the kids their own rooms, especially as small children because there's just some sort of bonding that occurs when the children are close and living together. Just my opinion and if the comments I get from people about how well my own 5 kids play together, I'd say it works for us.
Why not? Generations of children shared room and lived to tell the tale.
Until recently my kids shared rooms. We have 8 kids in a 4 bedroom house. Older girls had one room, they're 19 and 20. Older boys had one room, 21 and 20. Then the 3 of the younger ones shared a room, boys and girls, 11-6. The 3 year old was still with me.
Then my 20 year old son moved out, and the 20 year old DD is rarely here. so now we have the 19 year old and the 8 year old sharing a room, both girls. Next my 21 year old and 11 year old son share a room, and the 6 year old son and 3 year old DD share a room.
Sure it's not perfect. A staggered bed time, and some ground rules make things go a lot smoother.
Sharing rooms is the first introduction to compromising that kids encounter. There was a time that it was very rare for kids to have their own rooms, now it seems to be the only way to go. I don't get that, I shared with my sister who was 7 years younger then me and we lived to talk about it, and we didn't hate it. My kids don't hate it, but my kids have always been super close and for the most part enjoy each others company even the older to younger ones. Heck the son moved away and comes and get's his younger siblings to spend the night with him...
I say go for it, it's a good lesson for the kids.
If the older one is ok with it I say go for it. You can always "adjust" if she starts to hate it when she hits her teens.
That's a huge age gap. The bunk beds might be appealing for a little while but when the "baby" is in her way that's going to be crazy!
My girls are 13 (almost 13 actually) and 7. I HATE that they have to share a room. When one has a friend over it's always a problem, the fight over cleaning the room because it's always the other ones mess, the worst is bedtime because my 7 year old NEVER wants to go to sleep and it causes them to be in their at night and argue about everything or play around. I CAN'T WAIT for them to have their own rooms.
I think it's a pretty big age gap and if it were me, I'd probably leave them in their own rooms. 9 year olds tend to have a lot of stuff that they don't want 3 year olds to mess with....and that tendency will only deepen over time.
My boys (7&10) share a room and have from the beginning. They have had bunk beds since they were 3&6. They have never had any problems sharing. They go to bed at the same time and they get up at the same time. Their room is really only used for sleeping, dressing and storage of their things, not for playing or hanging out. When they have sleepovers they sleep in the living room or the rec room.
Were you closer in age to your sibling/s than your girls are? It seems like it would be fine for a few years but I imagine when they are 12/13 and 5/6 it's going to get hard. LOTS of potential for fighting and drama, I don't think I'd do anything TOO permanent!
I just asked a similar question...
Sounds like you know what you want to do and you probably have thought it over and over. Do it...if the girls are on board sounds like a great plan. You can always switch it back down the road. Try spending a little money on closet organizing like having california closets come in and custom design them. It's expensive but well worth the money in the long run especially when you are working with small spaces.
I'm going to put a 19 month old and newborn in the same room instead of bumping my stepson to the office (I was going to convert it into a bedroom which would work for him because he doesn't need a closet). My husband didn't want to move him so guess who is getting custom closets...us!
good luck.
You should talk to each child, separately, to see how they feel about this. So that they can OPENLY tell you, their feelings on it.
I shared a room with my elder sibling when I was a kid.
It SUCKED.
I HATED it.
Why?
Because, my sibling just had a vibe about her that was just not meshed with mine.
It was awful. It did NOT MAKE US, bond or be closer. At all.
Finally my parents let us be in separate rooms. We had the rooms available.
And as a kid gets older... they to me, need their OWN rooms.
Your eldest is 9. She is a Tween. Tweens are from 9-12 years old.
Your youngest is only 3.
BIG developmental differences.
AND different needs, and interests.
Can't you just make an "office" some other way?
Like, empty out a closet... and make that a desk area? Utilize that space.
Or make a desk area near the family room.
Do you really need an entire actual "room" for an "office?"
Dedicating an entire room to be an "office?"
Just, use good space planning, and consolidate your "office" stuff, into one space... ie: a closet or a niche area near a family room?
Look up/Google search "space planning for offices in tight spaces in a home."
It can just take, better space planning.
They will hate sharing a room. I shared a room with my sister from the time she was born until I turned 18. HATED it. I have 4 children, (3 girls, 1 boy) and the baby (girl) is sleeping in my room (we have a 3 bedroom house), my son is alone, he is 6 and my two oldest girls share a room. They are ages 13 and 10. They have been sharing a room since my son was born. They fight all the time over space.
I would not ever do bunk beds. Sorry, my best friend from 7th grade through college lost her elementary school age son when he accidentally fell off the top bunk. When he hit he hit his head and was dead. He wasn't doing anything wrong, he just put his hand in the wrong place, slipped and fell. So no, I would never put bunk beds in any kids room.
Plus they aren't play mates, they have too many years between their ages. One is going to be playing with Barbies, writing in a diary, wanting to start talking on the phone all the time within a year or so, she's going to want to have friends over to play and will not want her sister in the room with her at all.
The little one is going to want her to play dolly's all day or what ever she's interested in, the older girl is just not going to have any interest in that, especially in a year or so.
So no, I would not put them together. They will argue and fight and hate the situation, or at least the older one will.
Just try. It might work for a few years. She is not far off from the age, where she will probably seek more privacy. You can have them together until then, though.
