Do Your Kids Share a Room and How Do You Feel About It? Updated

I shared a room with my brother intill I was 7 and then had my own room for a yr then my sister was born so I shared with her till I was 12. except for the fact that my sister neve kept the room very clean it never bothered me.

No my kids have their own rooms.I hated sharing a room with my lil sis & since my hubby had no idea what it was like to share a room with a sibling he likes that they have their own rooms too.

I always had my own room (it was only my brother and I growing up). My hubby shared a room with his 2 brothers (3 in 1 room!). He absolutely LOVED sharing a room with his brothers and was insistent on our boys sharing a room. In fact, all of his brothers kids share a room too. I was not too keen on the idea. However, as fate would have it I got OOPS preggo and now they have to share a room. They love it, we love it. My kids are MUCH younger than yours (2.5 and 14 months) so it probably isn't even comparable. They don't care about their own space or privacy yet. We do have a plan for down the line though...in the event that one of them, as they get older, wants privacy. I will give up my office and make it into a bedroom for one of them.

I don't think you are over thinking it at all. When you have never had to share a room, the whole concept is absolutely foreign and strange...at least it was for me! That said, I can't imagine putting myself into more of a financial strain so that my kiddos could all have their own rooms. There are some decisions that have to be made on behalf of the family as a whole - to me, this would be a no brainer...they would have to share a room.

In this economy, I would not think about buying a bigger house.
I have 4 of us in 800 sq ft, my kids (opposite sex) share a room, and they have no issues with it - my son is nearly 9, and my daughter 3, they have bunk beds, and my daughter is not allowed in the top bunk, unless my son says so, as that is his space.
I think it is something to think about, you are not overthinking it, how do your kids feel - I have asked my son repeatedly if he wants his own room, he is vehement that he likes his sister in with him. When I was growing up, I had my own room, we had a big house, I used to creep in my sisters bed every night.
And think about it, how much time do kids actually spend in their rooms - usually mine are bugging me in my living room! the only time they are in their room is bedtime, mostly we are outside, so yes a big yard or land, would be a better bet. Also you could buy a 3 bed house and convert one bedroom into 2 small, very easily with book cases or room didviders.

I have 3 children, two girls and a boy. OH yeah, and I'm pregnant with the 4th. My girls share a room. They hate it. My boy has his own room because he's smaller/younger (was supposed to be the "baby."). We only have a 3 bedroom house. Ideally, I wish we had a room for each of them but this is our home, this is what we have to deal with. I shared a room with my sister from her birth (she's 8 years younger) until I was 18. I hated it but that is how it was. IF you can afford the big house, go for it. IF not, then that is how it will be. Remember, children grow up and move out eventually and you're the one still paying for the mortgage, bills, etc.

My older 2 (4.5 and almost 3 years) just moved into the same room so the baby could move out of our room. I wasn't a big fan of the idea, but moving is NOT an option right now and I'm not comfortable having anyone in the basement yet. It's not the end of the world and I'm not even sure where the idea that 'every child must have their own room' came from for me. *I* shared as a child and so did most of my friends growing up. I think it's fine.

I'd opt for a smaller house. I think it's very important to stay within budget.

My kids (2 and 3) share a room. I don't know what our situation will look like in eight years. Surely, it is easier for little ones to share space than for older kids to share. My kids actually enjoy the company and companionship. I don't know that they will be as happy when they are teenagers.

Anyway, I'd also suggest looking for 3 bedroom houses that aren't conventional. In our area there are many, many 3 bedroom homes built in the 1940s, 50s and 60s. Often there is an office, a huge closet or a funny shaped room that would easily act as a separate room for a younger person. They don't technically count as a 4 bedroom because there isn't a closet, or it's a shotgun style room, or whatever. But practically, it can be used like a 4 bedroom. That's what I would look for.

(and I like Mellisa's idea for separating space within a room.)

Check out Dave Ramsey's book "A total Money Makeover" .........I don't totally agree with everything he has to say but ALOT and I mean ALOT of it makes sense. I'm with you on this one....why make myself struggle when I don't have to??? It's the want factor not the need factor......

I think sharing comes with short term aggravation and long term benefit.

They will squabble about the extra "sharing" (re: unapproval borrowing) that goes on when you share a room. They will argue about "alone time" in their room (re: to do homework or play with friends). They will fight over bedtime and wake-up-time. When the older one hits puberty, the need for privacy may spike. But to be honest, kids will find things to squabble over anyway.

The benefits are they will eventually be closer sisters for it (probably not until the mid-to late 20s). The time they have to spend keeping two rooms clean instead of one. The transition to dorm life where roomates are de rigeur will be easier. The ability for your soon-be pre-teen to slam the door and sulk alone in her room disappears.

Although we have a 5 bedroom house, our 3 girls share a room, and our 3 boys share a room. They love it. They have very close relationships and wouldn't want it any other way. We have asked. I think sharing bedrooms instills love for each other. They learn to want to be together as a family rather than alone as individuals. We have such an individualistic mindset in America, and it is furthering the demise of the family. Also, my laundry room is 20 ft by 30 ft. All the children's clothing is stored there instead of their rooms. I have a wall of dressers, and a hanging rack. It gives them so much more room in their room, which they love. Much neater, but they still have to work on tidiness! ;)

We have four bedrooms and 3 kids. All 3 kids had their own rooms. It was a MUST for me in buying because I had to share all the time growing up. My boys, however, were always in each other's rooms. So now they share and love having their toy room upstairs instead of in the basement. My daughter still has her own room because she is the only girl. But the boys LOVE sharing. They only battle sometimes about what cartoon to watch :). But I'd do it again in a heartbeat!

I had a love/hate relationship sharing a room growing up. It was nice, but I needed some alone time too. If the kids are sharing as teenagers, just do your best to make sure they get some private time when needed.

There is nothing wrong with sharing rooms :) However, I think the biggest thing that will be an issue is the age difference between the two sharing. It isn't a HUGE deal now, but might be when she is 15 and your other daughter is 10. Maybe look at houses with oversized bedroom or giving them the master bedroom to share and putting up a Jack and Jill wall for a little more privacy.

Good luck!

My boys are 6 and 2 and every night they can they want to sleep in the same room. They each have their own bedroom and some nights they have to sleep in them (b/c one has to get up in the am and the other doesn't, etc.) but 5 out of 7 nights they choose to share.
But....they are young. I feel a teenager needs/deserves their privacy and your oldest is far off from being a teen. I'd say go for it now and go with the bigger house if you can.

My kids share a room right now, but we are in a 3 bedroom house so when the day comes when they don't want to share a room, its possible. (I only have 2 children) When I was little I shared a bedroom with my sister until we moved into a house big enough for us to split up. It was more relief for my older sister than anything. She was 4 years older than me.

I think for right now sharing a room isn't that big of a deal, but when kids start getting into their tween/teen years they prefer their own space. And I think its somewhat important to give that. That is just how I feel though, I am sure it won't be detrimental in the bigger picture if they do share.

I shared a room with my sister from the day she was born (I was three) until the day I got married (I was 19), and I HATED it. The only time I EVER had any privacy was in the bathtub or on the toilet.
If kids WANT to share a room, let them for as long as they BOTH want it. If either one doesn't want to share a room, s/he should have his/her own.

That 50K now will be 200K when the market turns around-better to bite the bullet now-maybe. That said-sharing a room is not a big deal, really-until the scary teenage years-when nothing you do or provide or say will be good enough.

I don't think you are over thinking at all. We move from a big house to a small rental and my kids (13 and 2.5) share a room. I appreciate my older daughter has being such a good sport. The little one often takes her stuff, make a big mess, wake her up, and my older have to be very quiet in the mornings (when she is getting ready at 6am). When we can move we will so exited for her to have her own room again.
Even with all the teen&toddler drama they seem to get along great. Actually many days they get along better between them selfs then with me.
What about buying a house that in a near house you can add your teens room and use the money now to buy a house with a nice back yard?
If I had the money I would buy the house with 4 rooms because I also get my family to visit us every year for 2 or more weeks and we are always needing the space.
What ever you decide I am sure it will be good, many kids have share rooms since always and survive, lol.

In Rockport you should be able to get the best of both worlds.

There has to be some compromise here.

I would PREFER my boys NOT to share rooms - they need their privacy and space - they DID share a room until they were 5 and 7, then they got separated.

If you can afford the extra $50K - do it - seriously - you won't have kids screaming "she's in MY SPACE"

My boys are the same space apart as your daughters they shared a room but our youngest is a very light sleeper and every time his brother tossed and turned it woke him up. How often are the boys at your home? If it's only the weekends they do not need a bedroom get two sets of bunk beds and just have the girls share on the weekends if it's more often then that well tell your girls the boys have to share a room and don't you two it's only fair. Or maybe you could find a three bedroom with a finished basement you could use for the teenage boys room or maybe a 3 bedroom with a good-sized office that can be used as a bedroom.

I think I'd look at it as figuring out how much money per month we could comfortably afford and look for the most house for the money.
You can also continue to rent until you save up a larger down payment.