Siblings Sharing a Room - Zirconia,NC

Updated on September 21, 2010
F.A. asks from Zirconia, NC
13 answers

My daughter just turned 2 this month. My husband and I have talked about having #2 and have decided that they would have to share a fairly small room for a couple of years till we move to a bigger home. Fitting a crib, toddler bed, dresser, book shelves AND toys in one room is a bit of a concern. I actually dont mind our kids sharing a room up until a certain age (depending on the sex of #2) but I would prefer they have their OWN space at least after or soon after starting school. My husband is a middle child so we have talked about how he ALWAYS had to share a room with his bros unlike myself. I enjoyed having my own space anytime I wanted/needed it. I would just like to know other experiences with parents who do not have an equal number of bedrooms for children. Thanks mamas!!!!

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M.N.

answers from Charlotte on

We had a finished basement and when I was 11, I threw my brother's bed down the stairs. He brought it up and I threw it again. I told my mom I am too old to be sharing a room with him. It was liberating. He was a teen and it was inappropriate.

My friends made their son and daughter sleep in the same room until the daughter was about 10. Their kids got along much better after they fixed up the basement for him.

If the kids are young, I don't see a problem. Once they enter school and are different genders, seperate rooms are the way to go.

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

I shared a room first with my brother, then my sister until I went to college, then had a roommate, then got married. Never had my own room, so I never missed it. Your kids will adapt to their environment and it will be their normal. We always had bunk beds, and for awhile I had a cool bed tent over mine (it was the top bunk) and my sister made a kind of one around hers in blankets. It was like having our own rooms. :-)

Nowadays they make lofted beds which are totally great and I would have loved as a kid. Gets the bed up off the floor and gives you all that room underneath!

Anyway, dont sweat the shared room thing. It will probably bother you more than the kids until they're teenagers. :-)

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C.W.

answers from Austin on

we had 6 kids and 2 adults living in a single-wide trailer... we fit bunk beds and a mattress that slid under... with the dresser in there we only had a space of about 4 feet by 3 feet of spare room... We got along fairly well, and for the most part didn't mind too much. Sometimes it sucked sometimes not having our own space, but on the plus side, we spent a LOT more time outside!

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J.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

My 19 month daughter and 6 month old son share a room. The baby was in our room until he started sleeping the majority of the night, then he was in her room (two cribs!) by the time he was 3 months. Then, once he got to be more aware (rocking him to sleep became a two hour fight, feeding himt o sleep wasn't an option, etc), I had him "sleep trained" in a pack-n-play in our room again (much to my husbands dismay). This only took about two weeks though (Ferber Method) and then I put him back in my daughter's room. Now, they go to bed at the same time (around 730-8pm). He might fuss for a minute, but now he knows how to put himself to sleep and she got used to his noises (and probably vice versa). We have a toy box in their room and out in the den (we live in a very small 2 bedroom house btw).
In regards to one's own space, I shared a room with my sister until I left for college, then had roommates, and then got married. In my whole life, I had my own room for 3 (glorious) months- however, sharing a room gets you ready for living with complete strangers (college) and sharing a room with my best friends (sister and now husband) was/is such a rewarding experience--even through the fights. Sure, my kids will probably have separate rooms at some point in their life due to their gender difference, but now they can be buddies! Hope you find what works for you :)

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

I shared a bedroom with 2 younger brothers until I was 13. I shared a room with one brother; when the second brother was born, the first brother got his own room and I still shared with the baby. Then when the third brother was born I shared with both babies.

My grandchildren have shared a room since each was born. They are now 7 and 10. They have bunk beds. When their baby brother or sister is born in March my 7 yo grandson will share a room with the baby and the 10 yo girl will have her own room.

For awhile they had a separate room for toys but not in the past couple of years. They also had a loft bed and a crib when the 7 yo was born. When he transitioned out of the crib they got bunk beds.

Whatever your children have, a shared room or separate rooms, it will feel normal to them. Unless you expect the toys to all stay in the bedroom you'll discover enough room for them. Might even be an advantage in that you'll have a good reason to limit the supply. :)

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J.C.

answers from Lincoln on

We have plenty of rooms for our children, but choose to have them share. We have our two older boys in one room (they are 12 & 11) and our 3 younger boys in another (6,4, & 2). They have developed a closeness that you just can't get if you have your own space. They get the late night talks, the arguments, the daily conversations that you miss out on without being so close in proximity.
They will probably always share a room, you can't run away and hide in loneliness as a teenager if your brother is right there next to you.

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C.W.

answers from Dallas on

I have 3 girls and they share a room. It is a little tricky to fit everything in a small room but doable. I have a set of bunk beds and one single with a dresser, 2 2 drawer side tables a kitchen set and a big doll house in there. They each have their own toy box in the closet. Books and stuff are in a different room for them. My girls are 12, 10, and 8. At 12 we will be looking to seperate her but the 10 and 8 year old love sharing a room. I think you do what you have to do. Stagger bed times so they don't stay up playing and the older child gets a little time to themselves. We also make sure that when one needs the alone time the others leave them alone. They get it and it works fine.

C.W.

answers from Las Vegas on

Me and my brother shared a room until he was 4 I believe, I was 2. I think my mom was scared of having us in the same room for a long time, she thought we needed our own space after that for dressing and such which makes sense. We had bunk beds, I had the bottom of course :) She bought a toy box that was big enough to fit all our toys at one point and at another she bought one that would fit in the closet

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D.R.

answers from New York on

my 2 oldest share, and though we will prob switch soon to give my daughter her own, the boys will share. i dont get what the big deal is, back in the day everyone shared, lots still do. they are very close and to them its just the way it is. we bought a huge wall unit closet thing from ikea and everything is jammed in there. we gave each of them their own space as well, a toy chest and a "cubby" that they can lock.

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E.D.

answers from Chicago on

We have a two and half year old daughter and a 7 mos. old son, and they share a room. There are a lot of reasons why I'm okay with (and glad!) that they are sharing a room, but I also try now (and plan to in the future) to give each one their own space. I think having that "place" is important, especially for times when one just needs to "get away" for a little. We make little forts for our daughter, and we also just saw a little bed tent on sale that we might get for her.

With sharing a room, you definitely get creative with space, but it is totally doable. Even though my kids are still young, my daughter already loves sharing a room with her brother! I'm hoping that continues! ;-)

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D.N.

answers from Chicago on

My 3 older kids are 11. They have always shared a room. We had planned to sell when they turned 6 or 7 but a deal fell through and due to the housing problems, we haven't been able to. We have a bunk bed and trundle, as well as 3 dressers in their room. Their room is ALWAYS a mess. You can get creative with space. Shelves on the wall-above the toddlers bed so she can reach her books, use space under the beds for storing toys-slide out drawers or baskets work well. The main things for the room are beds and dresser and then see what is left.

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J.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

We had 3 kids in a two bedroom house until we moved last fall. The baby was in our room, boys (age 4 and 2) were in the other. Now that we've moved, the baby (now nearing two) has her own room and the boys still share, even though we have 4 bedrooms. We opted to keep them sharing, they like it, and it works for us. My thought is we'll keep them together until it doesn't work anymore, but I don't see that happening any time soon.

We keep the toys mostly out of there room (we have a finished basement where they mostly stay) and the bedroom is for sleeping and reading.

When we had our little house, I opted to get rid of the bookshelf and used a big box for books. It actually seems to work better than a bookshelf, because the books are all lined up in there and the kids can flip through them and put them away without making a huge mess. Now I have 3 larger boxes on the floor for books, and no shelf at all in their room.

My boys are now 5 1/2 and almost 4, so I say you can have kids share for at least a few years before you'd have to worry about moving.

J.

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Y.W.

answers from Athens on

When our family was growing, my husband and I decided that we didn't want our house to be like a hotel. Each person having their own room and not interacting with each other until meal time. I have seen this with other families and didn't like it. So in order to foster family togetherness we put the 2 girls together in a room and the TV in the family room. The girls can watch videos in thier room but no TV.

If you think back to your childhood, most houses were built with 3 rooms. One for the parents, a boy's room and a girl's room. That was considered spacious because prior to that, it was just a one room house for most families for centuries prior. So sharing space has been the custom for most of civilization. This recent notion that kids need thier own room is an American thing just as taking daily baths. So if you don't have space for each to have their own room don't fret.

I actually have space for my girls to have their own room but we chose to have them share a room. They will only have this time in childhood to live together and learn to share and cooperate together. It isn't total bliss all the time between them especailly when it is time to clean the room. They fuss over who left the sock on the floor and who should have to pick it up. But when I walk past their room and they are in their giggling, reading to each other and telling stories about their day, I can't help but smile. They have thier inside jokes. Where saying one word and make them both laugh and leave me wondering what the heck is so funny!!

If I am out shopping and I want to purchase an item for one of the girls but she isn't on the shopping trip, I can ask the other because they know each other's styles. So think about how you invison your family dynamics will be in the future and if having thier own space works for you and them, so be it.

I am pro sharing a room. Good luck in making your decision!!

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