Sharing Bed with 2 Year Old

I had a similar problem with my youngest after she was sick. She got into a pattern of someone being w/ her at night. She would wake up and cry until someone came in and was w/ her. Being afraid of my other daughter waking i would give in.
After talking w/ their Dr., I was told i needed to stick w/ the plan of letting her cry herself back to sleep and not give in. It was hard and took about 2 nights of this and that was about 2 years ago and she sleeps by herself in her own bed.
Good luck to you!

My daughter is 4 and she still sleeps with my husband and I. We decided that we will get her her own bed when she asks for it. I am the one who puts her down each night, and it is one of my favorite times becuase of snuggles. We are planning to have a second child within the next 1-2 years. If my daughter is still sleeping with us we will get a co-sleeper crib (attaches to the bed) for the new baby and still let my daughter sleep with us.

Have you considered a co-sleeper?
http://www.albeebaby.com/arremicobain1.html

A Dr. Sears who had 9 children? last count wrote a famous book. He is a christian and he said people were shocked when they would ask his wife to see their "nursery" when she was preggers. She would show them THEIR bedroom! They had a crib in the room and would let the baby not only sleep in their bed, but when they got old enough, the suggestion was to put the crib next to the adults bigger bed and let the bar down as low as it could go so the child would not fall out on its head and get injured when it awoke scared at night. This way he reasoned the child could only climb or worse case scenario , fall in to the parents bed if said child lost its balance. It is common for children to not want to be alone at bedtime or to sleep in a huge(to them) bedroom all alone at such an early age. He also reasoned that children are very insecure at that age and children who have access to their parents at night like this, grow up VERY secure. I kept the crib in the opposite corner of my bedroom when they were infants and when older moved the crib right next to my bed and let the child crawl in if they awoke and were scared or whatever. We all got a good nights sleep as we all went right back to sleep-everyone safe and secure and happy. It works and it seems that 3/4 of the worlds population all sleep together on the floor as in ancient biblical times.

We had the same problem with our oldest before his brother was born. So what we did was got him one of those car toddler beds and a baby monitor. At night we would put him to bed and shut the door. Sure he cried the first couple of night, however now he sleeps in his own bed with no problems. He would wake up in the middle of the night to, so my husband and I would take turns rocking him back to sleep in a glider chair which we also stored in his room. Hope this is helpful, remember he will cry yet he is in his own room as long as he has some water to drink he will be fine. The first time you try it he may cry for a while.
M. B

Hi! ii know what i am going to say is harsh but i just had to do it with my baby who is 3 and has never slept with me except for when she was born. she would use every excuse from i am scared, to i am hungry ,i am thirsty, my foot hurts.(she is just really attached to me). so I have gotten 2 night lights a regular one that comes in many colors and that new plug in night light that glows and does this whole color show so know I know she is ok and she can see so if she crys i can handle it better than befor i still don't like to hear her cry i'm a softy. but now she is fine goes to bed the same way she use to with no problerms. My friend told me she had the same prob and she just put the tv on and her son is fine and befor she went to bed she would go and turn it off . I know she said it works wonders just nver hd to try it hope you can find answer to your problem from all of these inteligent hard working mothers.

My 4 year old son recently started having to fall asleep on my chest at night. After he had done that I took him to his bed and layed him down. He started waking up in the middle of the night and crawling in my bed. I have asked his ped's doctor if this was normal and she asked if there was a significant change in my house hold. There had been many changes, which includes a recent divorce and his older sister moving back to her fathers.

Stop and look at what changes (such as a new baby on the way) that may have happened and try reassurring him that you are there for him. My son still likes to crawl on my chest and fall asleep, but now I have some what of an idea as to what may have caused his sudden actions.

My daughter is 2 as well. She used to love to sleep with us. She would start in her bed and end up in ours. After a month my husband and I just made her go back into her own room. She would cry and scream and it would upset me and I would be crying. We were persistant about making her sleep in her own bed. Sometimes she would wake up multiple times and try to get in our bed. Now she usually always gets through the night and wakes up in her bed. I got her a stuffed animal she really likes and left a night light on, it seemed to work. If she has bad dreams I let her sleep in our room on the floor. Purge the bad habit now before you have 2 in the bed. Good luck!

hi A.,i would just start setting up a rituial. like in our house the girls take their bath from 7pm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

He must be needing to be close to you. Especially with baby on the way. What if you got a matress for the floor in your room and laid down with him as he goes to sleep? Even adults prefer not to sleep alone, can you imagine how much more that applies to little kids?

I do understand about the worries of him sleeping in bed with your new baby. If he does come into the bed you can put him with you and or your husband in between him and the baby to make it safer.

It is a weaning to get the children sleeping alone. My 2 year old never does as she is nursing. When we need the bedroom for adult time we just get her to sleep with a sibling and she will stay there for a couple of hours.

The older ones often sleep with us too ( 8 yrs and 11 yrs) The oldest often when he does not want to sleep alone in his room either takes a futon into his sister's room or ours and sleeps on the floor.

Your doing the right thing by letting your son fall asleep in your bed and then bringing him to his own bed. My husband and I are doing the same thing with our son. He's also two years old.

I would make an event of the evenings and him having his personal time prior to going to sleep. For instance, about 30 minutes before bed time, do story time, and music time, something specific to him. That he will look forward to everynight. It will beneficial to once you've got the baby in the house, he'll be really wanting your attention.
Hope that helps some.. I used to do bath time before bed to help them relax too... with aromatherapy to calm them down. I know others who've used warm glass ofmilk too. =)

aha...someone can tell competition looms ahead...since we've had 5 kids in 7 years, there have been times that my husband and I have had to split and offer comfort to that sibling above the one to come. Eventually, they grow older, they mature and sleep on their own. In fact, these kids grow so fast it is just a blur! He may be 2 now and bothering your sleep now, but too soon he will be 5 and doing his own thing... good luck

Maybe him wanting to sleep with you has to do with the new baby on the way. Like a jelous thing. Having a new baby on the way keeps any mother pre-occupied with the new arrival and nesting. Try setting some time aside to explain to your son how important he will be and try Keri's idea with reading him a story and staying with him till he falls asleep. Good luck!

I have a couple ideas for you. This one may sound a little far out, but I have heard several success stories. Sometimes sleep problems stem from a low level anxiety rooted in insecurity in the parents relationship. Kids need to see mom and dad being together on a regular basis, and if they don't they will do anything to get, and to see, mom and dad together. I'm not saying you don't have a good relationship - just some kids need more assurance. Try having 10-15 minutes everyday where mom and dad sit down on the couch together for their time (in front of your child) and explain this is mommy and daddy's time. Try it...it has helped some people. Also, you might want to allow your child to bring a pillow in your room and sleep on the floor next to your bed, but not get in with you as it is mommy and daddy's bed. Just some ideas...follow your gut, you are the best mommy for your child. Good luck!

Hi A.,

Our middle son was 2 when our youngest was born and he was a family bed boy too. What worked for us, for a while at least, may not work for you, but here it is ...

We put his toddler bed at the foot of our bed. That way, he wasn't alone, yet wasn't taking up precious room on our bed. It's really hard to say what will work, since this only worked temporarily with our son. He's back in our bed just about every other night or so. The other times, he shares a room with his big brother. Needless to say, he never liked sleeping by himself. Our youngest is now 12 months and you can just imagine how cramped a King sized bed can get with 4 people in it!

An important note**** I absolutely LOVE my babies and know that they grow up sooooo very fast. I try not to dwell on wanting my own space, only on giving my children the love and warmth they desire. They were in my womb for 8 months (all early!) and I get them for a very short time on the outside. I try to treasure the fact that they still want me. My oldest, now 6, is extremely independent and I don't get my cuddles with him now.

Hope this helps you.

Warmly,
R.
mommy to Cameron, Tristan and Logan

hi A. wow that is a tough one for me to answer but ill give it my best. Luckily my 3 little ones hardly ever wanted to sleep in our bed but when they tried either myself or my husband would lay them in there bed and lay next to them. Or we would put them in bed and read them a nice story. One thing i must say is try to not give in and let him stay in your bed. Be consistant and try to explain to him that your bed is for mom and dad and this is his bed. Also do u have a nightlight in his room maybe he is afriad of the dark. Best of luck to you

Hi Adrien:
My 3 y/o was doing ther same, separation anxiety, jaleaus from the new baby, fears to the darkness, all of the above? who knows, but I printed out a 1 week calendar w/a nice picture of her and I put seven stickers next to it and I placed next to her bed, I told her she is a big girl now, and I will be so proud of her if she stays on bed all trough the night, and I promess a chu chu trian ride (what shee realy likes) after a full week sleepeing in her own bed, when shee woke up in middle of the night I just remained her about the calndar ant then in the morning the very first thing I did was show her so much exitment about and we placed the stiker toguether, celebraiting the big deal, it worked out just fine, after only one week doing it no more traveling to my bed of course we keept the promisse and took her for a chuchu train ride, Good Luk!

I am having the same problem, I have a 3 year old daughter and Im due in 5 days with a boy... Ive tried including my daughter with everything and making sure that she knows that she will be a great helper with the new baby, she is soooo excited and talks about the babys arrival all the time so I know that that is not the issue... Recently I have tried telling her, we can cuddle for 15 minutes before bed time with mom and dad and then its time for her to sleep in her bed. which has kind of worked, up until she falls asleep and wakes up in the middle of the night then her excuse is she wants to cuddle some more...and I LOVE to cuddle so I give in... but lately I have had enough cause its getting harder and harder for me to get comfortable enough to get some rest... I remember one night I had to get up with her 6 different times throughout the night just to have her sleep in her own bed! Tonight I actually went out and bought her things for her room, things that she wanted, because I figured maybe she wants to have certain things for her room since the baby has his own baby things in his room... kinda evening things out... I told her that we can buy her some things for her room to make it HER room, but she would need to sleep in it in order to get the new things that she wanted... For the first time in a year I heard her say I dont want to cuddle or sleep in mom and dads bed tonight, I want to sleep in my own room with my new blanket and my new lamp, etc... I think that since I involved her in remodeling her room to the way she wanted it, she is now more comfortable in there, its an atmosphere she created WITH mom and not one that mom created without her... do you know what I mean? I really hope that this works for you, as well as me. But I guess we will both have to give it time and patience and see what happens... But if you do find something that works please pass on the advice cause I know that we arent the only ones out there with this problem. Good Luck and congrats on the "soon to be born!"

my son is two years old and he likes to wake up through the night and walk to my room, which is right next door. so i just put him right back, every time. i make it a positive experience so he doesn't get mad at me. offer a reward ( mommy approved, maybe a sticker) if he stays in bed the whole night.

we had the same problem with our 2 year old. we put another bed in our room and every week eventually moved it further away from our bed and eventually back to his room. took some time and patience but it worked.

I had the same problem when my kids were little. I see no problem with it...however 2yrs old is a time when we need to teach our children time limits... What I did was allowed them to climb in bed with me, but they had to understand that it was only for a minute (okay maybe 10 minutes but at 2 they only understand small amounts of time) then when time was up back to bed they go. At first it maybe 2 or 3 times a night, but eventually you can get them to understand that they only get so many "turns" and you can get it down to once a night. When the new baby comes they should be old enough to understand it's the babies turn......worked for me!

I have to agree with Jeannie a bit. I have six children and have always kind of followed the "Continuum Concept" (book) of letting the kids decide when they were emotionally/developmentally ready to be away from us. I do have to say that people have always commented on how happy and stress-free our babies are/were, not cranky or fearful. However, I also feel they do need to learn some independence and how to get themselves to sleep. A happy medium might be a bedtime ritual, maybe a bit of snuggling, but mom or dad always moves away before the child goes to sleep. The Baby Whisperer is a great book, too.

Wow did I ever go through this one! My oldest was sleeping with me and I had new baby coming. Nothing was working until I just had to put my foot down. I had a cuple of long nights and alot of tears, from me and my daughter, lol, but I just kept putting her back in and we made a new night time schedule that she got used to. AS long as I gave her mommy time before it was all good. Good luck!

This has allot to do with the new baby comming. My older son was 6 when I was preganant with my second one he did the same thing. I think your two year old knows that he will be sharing you soon and is just trying to get all the time he can. I would tell him that for right now he can sleep with mommy but when the baby comes he needs to be a big boy and sleep in his bed. If you coach him through the next couple of months and repeat that he will be the big boy when the baby comes that might help. I actually cherished the time with my oldest because he was an only child for so long the transition was difficult. Give all the time and love you can right now when you can because in a couple months it is going to be very hard on him and you.

I have to admit I had the same problem with my son but, it turned out that he is afraid of the dark. try putting a night light in the room and see if it helps but being consistant in putting your child back in their own bed is important.

When my boys were that age, they wanted to sleep with us, too, but we did not want to get into that. My husband and I cherished our own together time at night. So, we developed a routine of favorite story, Bible story, and prayer. If they had difficulty I would lay with them and sing Scripture songs to them or rub their backs until they fell asleep. Then I would go to my own bed. If they got up in the middle of the night, instead of letting them into our bed, I would go up to their bed and lay with them until they fell back to sleep. This helped them to respect that mommy and daddy had their own bed and they had theirs. Occasionally my boys will still have a nightmare and want me to be with them in their rooms until they fall back to sleep, but this is very rare.

Hi A.,
I seem to be having the same issues but only with my 4 year old sleeping with us since we moved into our new house 9 months ago. Ive heard several things that get me confused: I've heard that there is nothing wrong with it. That it builds great bonding. And I've heard "oh that is just not right get that kid out of your bed". Our bed seems to be shrinking or our 4 year old is growing. (HaHa) So if you get some real good advice please feel me in on it.
Thanks
40 year old Mom to a four year old
C.

My two and a half year old still sleeps with us so that is a tough one but what I think since you need to get him out of the bed is probably to put a mattress next to your bed to start with and transition him slowly if you can. I am going to try that tonight so I can let you know how it goes. I just get so tired getting up and putting him back in bed and he cries to go in my bed so I give in. I do not have another one coming so it is not a big deal but it is starting to bother my hubby!
Lisa