2 Year Old Not Sleeping Through the Night

Updated on November 22, 2008
L.M. asks from Lake Worth, FL
7 answers

On top of my already bad sleeping situation my husband started when I was working full-time at night(my son won't sleep in his bed to fall asleep). I get my son to fall asleep with us then I transfer him to his big boy bed. He wakes up about 3 hours later, he sometimes will go right back to sleep if I give him his pacifier that fell out of his mouth. Generally the only way I can get him to go back to sleep is to bring him in my bed again. This is one of the reasons I stopped working full-time because nobody was getting any sleep in our bed. I have no problem letting him scream it out if it would work but my husband disagrees with it. My son when I tried it in the past(in his crib)would scream forever and not fall asleep. Now he can get out himself, what do I do? We need our bed back and our privacy!

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D.G.

answers from Boca Raton on

A very neat little way to change a habit that my MIL gave me was use a birthday. If you can hold out until he's 3, start now saying "OK, but you know when you turn 3 this February (or whenever), then you have to go to sleep in your bed and stay there all night." When the times comes, though, you MUST stick to it. "Mommy and Daddy sleep in their bed, and you sleep in your bed. You are a big boy now." Chances are, if you keep reiterating it now, he will follow along with minimal fight when the time comes. Good luck.

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A.M.

answers from Daytona Beach on

This may not be the answer you want but...I'm going through the same thing with my son. Last night he fell asleep in the car on the way home. I layed him in his bed and he woke up. I got him to sleep again, took him back to his bed and he woke up again.

I do get frustrated but I try to remind myself that in just a little while he won't want to be doing this and I'm sure I will miss it. Time flies and I know it will seem like tomorrow when I'm looking back missing these days of them wanting to be so close to me. Although it is frustrating at times let's try to enjoy this time that we have with them.

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H..

answers from Orlando on

Have you ever watched Super Nanny? She tackles this problem with nearly every family on every episode, and no matter how old the child is, the technique is the same. You do a night time ritual like reading them a book, then you say good night and leave the room. They cry and get up and leave the room and you put them back in bed. They cry and get up and leave the room and you put them back in bed. They cry and get up and leave the room and guess what you do??? It may take an hour or more but you keep doing it. You don't yell at them to get in bed, you don't ask them to get back to their bed, you don't give in and take them back to your bed-- you just put him back in his bed and leave the room. One other slightly different technique she used was for kids who may be scared being alone in their own room because they have been so used to sleeping with mom/dad. This involves placing a chair in the room facing AWAY from the child. You do the exact same thing and make sure when you sit in the chair that you turn away from the child-- that way you are still "there" for the comfort of them not feeling alone, but they are still falling asleep on their own in their own bed. They cry and get out of bed and come over to you and you quietly put them back in bed. Cry, get out of bed, come to you, you put him back in his bed, etc for an hour or more or however long it takes. Each night you move the chair further away from the bed and closer to the door until you are out in the hallway and he won't need you anymore. You will be ridiculously exhausted for the first few nights and then he'll get it and won't put up a fight because he knows it's useless because if he CRIES, GETS OUT OF BED AND COMES TO YOU, YOU PUT HIM BACK IN HIS BED. period. There is no "crying it out" alone in his room frightened and wondering why you aren't coming back. If he stays in his bed/room and just screams and cries, you can go in and comfort him, tell him that you are right in the next room (I say, "I'll be right back"), and it's time to go night night in his big boy bed. Make sure he has a special blankie or stuffed animal that he only uses at bed time (my son has special blankies, but he also picks a different toy or stuffed animal to take to bed each night). Once he learns to fall asleep this way, he will be able to fall back to sleep on his own at night when he wakes up. DO NOT take him back to your bed in the middle of the night or you'll be back to square one.

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S.Z.

answers from Miami on

Screaming at night will not harm your baby. You may need to send your husband away for a few nights while your son works out his sleeping issues. It may take 3-5 days, but if you're consistant, and don't give in to the screaming, he will sleep in his own bed. Does he have a toddler bed yet? You could make a big deal of it and let him know that that is where big boys sleep. If he gets out, put him back in without words or eye contant (otherwise you would be reinforcing the behavior you don't want). And after he learns this new big boy skill, DO NOT allow him in your bed again, or all your hard work will have been for nothing!
Good luck,
S.

J.M.

answers from Orlando on

When we moved our daughter from the crib to a twin sized bed, she was in our room many times each night. What we did was get up, without saying anything to her, and put her back in her bed. You may have to do this 30 times (or more!) depending on the stubbornness of your child. But eventually he will get the message that he is to stay in his bed. It's important that you don't yell at him or talk to him or interact with him in any way, because that is just reinforcing that if he gets up, he gets your attention.

We also put a sleeping bag and pillow on the floor of our room and told Emily that she could sleep there if she got scared at night. She was to come into our room as quietly as possible, get into her sleeping bag, and go to sleep. Once she realized that she wasn't getting into bed with us, she stopped coming in.

If your son is anything like my daughter, he'll start sleeping through the night when he is ready. Emily is almost 3 and has just recently started sleeping through--well, actually she does wake up once in a while but she has finally learned to find a comfortable position, put her covers back on, and go back to sleep. I know that is not very comforting but believe me, this, too, shall pass. Good luck from another tired mom!

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L.B.

answers from Miami on

Buy this book and do exactly what he describes for a 2 year old. Worked very well with my 2 year old (who couldn't fall alseep on his own and had never slept through the night by himself)

http://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Child/dp...

V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

Tammi F has it spot on. One thing that I did not see mentioned yet though, is that you need to have a discussion with your hubby before you start ANY new method and be sure that you both agree to whatever the plan is. That you both will enforce whatever the plan is. That you both will work together at the plan. If you take 3 days or whatever, like someone suggested, and do it alone, then Daddy comes home and lets him back in your bed for whatever reason... you start all over. So discuss, discuss, discuss... so you can be a true team to win this one (and all the future ones... :) ).
Happy sleeping...

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