Sharing

I think it's a stage.

In the meantime, provide lots of easy share toys like LEGOS, coloring books and crayons & markers, (washable), in lots o colors, Play-Dough, etc. When she has a fit over sharing just keep on her about how this is the way it is. "We share with our friends and take turns." Re-assure her that she will get the item back and make sure she gets it after an appropriate time has passed. Practice and set examples with lots of 'May I please have ____", and do a trade for stuff. Keep with it and give her time. P.

T.,
I have the same problem, my 4 year old hates to share with her 2 year old brother and will fight over the craziest stuff...I really don't have any suggestions other than I watched nanny 911 hte other night and she had a sharing timer so the kids would have to share toys for like 2 minutes or whatever time they picked..they seemed ok with sharing then b/c they knew there would be an end to it...but by the end of the 2 minutes they were having fun and they just kept playing. I think I might try it...just a suggestion!

I've heard people say to take a "special toy" like one of her favorites that she wouldn't like to share, put it away DURING the play date and if she shares and is nice she can have it once the other kids are gone to play with by herself or with you.

T.,
Here is some simple advice that may help: Tell her that if she leaves the toy, she loses it (meaning another child gets to play with it). This works really well with my two children. They are very careful not to let a particular toy out of their sight until they are completely done playing with it. Then, it is understood that if they leave it and the other child gets it, they have to wait for the other child to lose interest in it.

Best of luck!
J. F.

All the suggestions you received were great (I've used them all myself!). Another one you could try, depending on your child's motivation would be to make an incentive chart for sharing - i.e. earning stickers or stars each time she has a play-date where she shares nicely and then earns a special treat. It doesn't have to be a material item like a toy or candy (though it could be)... it could be baking cookies with mom or having a special outing, watching a favorite video together, having a picnic, etc...

Also, prior to the playdate, try picking some toys or things with her that can be played with well together - i.e. puzzles or games that require taking turns to learn skills of working together to achieve something or learning to wait to take turns (easy card games, Connect Four, Trouble, Memory/Matching are good ones).

They DO outgrow it and learn over time that sharing often leads to more fun, not less. Good luck!