Playing Nice with the Neighbor

Normal for this age.

What I found helpful was to buy some toys that were expressly for when my child played with one other child. I would buy two of the exact same thing. For example, they played a lot in the sandbox. So, I bought 2 red shovels, 2 blue pails, 2 identical trucks, etc. (They have to be identical, down to the color. Otherwise, they will both decide they want the red shovel instead of the green one.)

This solved most of the problems. Once in a while, one of them would decide they wanted BOTH red shovels. So I would have to step in and say (for the 100th time) "Each of you gets one shovel." and physically take the shovel and give it to the other child. If there were ever a problem where they refused to each have one and continued to fight over an item, I'd remove both of that item so neither of them had one. They learned pretty fast! : )

Blessings.

Have you ever seen the rules for toys of a toddler? It is hilarious, I don't have a copy or I'd post it with my answer. It basically says that all the toys are the toddlers, the neighbors toys are the toddlers, the toys at the store are the toddlers, all the toys at child care are the toddlers, etc...it's the nature of the beast, a stage they come out of usually by 3-3 1/2. Just keep teaching her to try and make good choices.

This is normal for children that young. You should be intervening in all cases so they learn. Probably the reason you don't have to intervene with the other kids is they are more passive. That doesn't mean the same lesson can't be taught.

I don't consider any small child bad they just don't know any different. He most likely grabs the toy when his patience for waiting runs out. He may not be patient enough or your daughter may be hogging specific toys. Thing is it is a great time to open a dialog, a learning moment, to help define for them what is an appropriate time to play with a specific toy that someone else wants and what is an appropriate time to wait.

I get that your daughter shares but sharing appropriately doesn't mean you can play with all of this and not that. Not saying that is what she is doing mind you.

The other possibility is the boy is attention seeking or has some sharing issues in the home environment. Like he has a sibling that doesn't share, mom does nothing, and he is used to pulling the toy away rather than work it out.

Have fun, I am soooo glad my kids are older, well sorta, then you have new fun.

I was in playgroups almost from birth to 6 years old and this happens quite a bit especially at this age. Boys can tend to be a little rougher as well and more dominate. Your child has every right to feel that she is not respected in playtime with him. I found myself telling the parent that I am sad they are not getting along because of sharing issues.....so we may need to take a break. On the other hand, my mommy friends seem to not have a problem with me and others interveneing and teaching their child how to share as maybe they will take someone elses authority. I was not always comfortable with that, but it got to a point with one mom that we all had to watch her child and intervene. So I spent a lot of time speaking for my child and guiding the playdate to a fair status. The parent would just stay out of it as I was handling it. It got old. I guess there is not any way to say this......... distant the playdates or talk to the parent and ask she guide more on fair play because your having a hard time doing it all the time and that way, she won't always see that your blamming her son but that you want her to reconize it with you and come to a solution. We mommies have to stand up to one another to be able to have peace in the situation................. with love and logic and with kindness.

This is sort of a tough question but I can relate. It’s tough focusing only on your child because after a while it doesn’t seem fair. I think when they are "arguing" over a certain toy maybe you can take it away - keeping them both from claiming the toy.

My friend and I have play dates with my son and her daughter and this happens a lot but I tell my son to share and she's a girl so he SHOULD give her the toy. if she is rough with my son I do tell her something but nothing inappropriately. I pretty much tell her the same way I would tell my son....to share.

Hope this helps some what and good luck.

I feel like i could have posted this question myself. My daughter has a boy friend same age and they are the EXACT same way. Honestly, we spend less time on playdates with them because of it. My daughter is not a victim, she does her part in the not sharing or arguing game. No issues with other kids. I feel that giving them time apart and not playing with him as often as we used to has helped. THis is normal behavior for toddlers and we just have to cross our fingers and pray they grow out of it sooner rather than later! Good Luck!!!

Does she want to play with this child? If not, don't force her to do so.

I've never fully understood "forced sharing." Do you share all your things with your coworkers or neighbors? If her toys belong to her, you can explain that it is NICE to share some of them, but you ought not force her. Let real life take its course...perhaps the child will decide that he doesn't want to play with her if she doesn't share. Viola! Natural consequences. Perhaps the boy will realize that his "gimmie, gimmie, that's mine" behavior causes her to refuse to play with him. Encourage your daughter to actually tell the boy "I don't want you to play with my toys because you won't give them back!" Perhaps he might learn a lesson too.

Honesty and real life consequences are valuable.

My kids are older and in fact we had 1/2 day at school yesterday and I had 7 neighbor kids over in our pool. I don't have a problem saying things to the other kids and correcting them. Like the oldest wanted to stand on the chair and jump in the pool...uh no...so I guess what I'm saying is don't feel like you can't say anything to the boy also, not just your daughter. Good luck.