Seven Yr Old Suddenly Getting Picked On...

One suggestion is to ask Megan's mom if there is a reason why Megan doesn't want to be her friend anymore. This happened to my daughter now 9. She was in a different classroom and the only time she saw her old best friend was on the playground. She spent the rest of the day buddying up with the girls in her classroom. We invited the friend over for dinner one night after school and they were best friends again. They even wanted to buy best friend outfits that they would wear to school on the same day. Also my daughter wears glasses and I let her place washable glitter glue on the frames to make them sparkle on day. This went over really well. She was the only one in her grade to have "sparkle" glasses.
You might also suggest that she doesn't have just 1 "best friend".

I have a 7 year old boy who just got glasses in June. He has actually always been a little shy on the playground since he is scared of falling off of the big toys. Well this year he has been playing on all the big toys and a boy he doesn't know came up and specifically told him. " You are a nerd because you wear glasses." I asked my son what he said and he told me he stuck his tongue out at the boy and kept playing. We have always coached our son to never let hurtful things get to him. We let him know that sometimes people will say something because they are jealous, or maybe something is going on at their house that makes them feel bad. Not all children come from the most loving homes and he may be one of those children. I let him know when I was a kid I wanted glasses and braces and I wanted to look like that, but I didn't need either one of those things. I also explained to him, that he is not a nerd, but if he is it is ok. I told him that nerds are really smart and he is really smart so there is nothing wrong with being a nerd. Everyone looks and acts different, it is what makes us individuals. Love yourself and don't worry about when someone says something mean. They could be having a bad day. There are also plenty of other kids who will be friends with you, but if you don't talk to them. They may be too shy to talk to you. Have fun and enjoy who you are! I hope that helps! These are talks that we have with our children alot. We want our children growing up with an understanding of different situations. At the end of the day, he always goes to bed feeling loved. Tell your daughter to keep smiling, she is beautiful and has a large heart.

I think everyone's ideas for coaching your daughter through this are great. I have a couple of other ideas that you might try. One is to ask the teacher to be watchful and even to consider doing some sort of lesson on "beauty" not being skin deep, not having anything to do with the style of your clothes, the color of your hair or skin, whether you have braces or glasses, etc. The second idea is to ask Megan's mom to help with Megan. If, as you suggest, they've been "best friends," then surely Megan's mom knows about the special relationship too and cares about your daughter and would be willing to help. My heart goes out to your daughter. Kids can be so mean sometimes.

Wow...does this bring back memories. My seven year old is now 10...so we are still sort of kind of in this same pattern although it has gotten better. I took my child to the counselor, I took her to a professional child phsycologist, we prayed with her, and took her to the pastor at our church...even let her talk things out with Granma and Aunties and even some of my closest friends...What I found out is this...There is a Queen bee and all the worker bees. Sometimes the worker bees decide they don't like doing what the queen bee says and they break off from the group to be and act just like their parents expect them too. Problem is...when they break away from the crowd, that is when the teasing starts, or should I say the peer pressure to "join into the crowd" again. If your daughter has always been liked before, and she seems to do well with school in general and is very likeable, then I believe she is just acting how you taught her...NOT JUST FOLLOWING along...she seems to have asserted herself and this ticked a couple of the other little girls off. Time will pass and be proud that your little one has stood against the "tide". Picking on someone usually means there is a jeleousy issue and the queen bee could have been your daughters best friend and is now upset because your daughter "stole" the stage from her. This is just my thought process on the situation, I don't know either of the girls but from what you wrote this is what I took from it. Just continue to encourage your daughter and don't let her shut down because of it...give her plenty of reassurance at home and you will see that in time all will be fine.

Love and belief

A.

My daughter has been having the same type of issues, but we have not found out why as of yet. She did excellent in preschool, and throughout most of kindergarten, but since then, she has had a hard time maing and keeping friends. We are now having her talk to the school's counselor to see if she will open up there. I would definately try having her friend over, or even have a small slumber party to see how al the girls interact with one another. That may give you an idea of what may be going on with the other kids. Hopefully, it will not get to the point that it has with us and the kids will start accepting her again. Explain to her that it is okay for her to have more than one best friend, and that it is okay for her friends to have more than one best friend. If you notice that any other kids in particular are being mean with no reasons, try talking to their moms. I would prefer to know if my child was being mean to others. They may not realize that about their kids, and would hopefully explain their wrongdoings. I hope things work out for your little girl!

K.,

Some of the cruelest people in life are the ones our children go to school with.

My son (who is now 9 yrs old) has wore glasses since he was 1 1/2 years old. We lived in Ohio prior to moving to Illinois 2 1/2 years ago. Rarely did any other child in Ohio say anything to my son about his glasses.

BUT..........when we moved here.....let's just say it's bad.

My son is called a "4 eyed freak" "Nerd" and yes, they even call him a "Faggot".

Children in schools are cruel.

Try to explain to your daughter that children can be very mean at times, and that there is really nothing that can be done about it. Tell her just to be her, and that there are lots of kids that would like to be her friend. Tell her how pretty she is, and that her glasses help her to better in school. let her know that there are so many kids that need glasses and don't have them and that she is lucky that she has them so that she can do good in school. Say as many positive things to her that you can. Help build her up. Let her know that her "Bestfriend" doesn't know what she is missing.

If you are concerned that it is really starting to emotionally break her down, don't let it get too far, she may need counseling.

If someone starts to threaten her at school, go right to the principal right away. The last thing you want is her being affraid to go to school.

If there is anything else I can do to help let me know.

While I don't have any direct parenting experience with this, because I have younger children--I have read about it. I would strongly suggest reading "Why Gender Matters". It talks about girl bullies and being shunned at school when friends turn on you--and obviously lots of other differences in raising boys vs. girls. One of his major points is for girls to have multiple friends/groups of friends so when she is outed by the group "which inevitably happens" she has other friends to turn to. Girls can be so mean, boys just walk up and punch you, but girls alienate you. Girls at this age are becoming so social and start to place such priority on their peers opinions of them, for her to be left out must be hard for her. I am sure it will pass, but the book does have some very strong points as to how to battle it.
It is wonderful that you are taking this seriously and not just blowing it off. She is obviously very upset by this, and yes while it will pass, right now I'm sure it is all she can think about.

Hi K., I have an 8 yr old girl and she is new to Sapulpa schools. She made friends over the summer that live across the street from us, they are also between 7&9, they take turns bullying her. One of them will be mean while another is her friend. I am trying to get my daughter to make other friends & to stand up for herself, but she is reluctant because they live so close & are convenient playmates. I'm not sure if this is much help, but I just wanted you to know you are not alone. If I come up with any ideas that work, I'll let you know. If you come up with something please let me know. S. C.