My 3 yr. old has never been stung by a bee, nor have bees bothered him in the past, but he has suddenly developed this fear of bees. I took him to the zoo last week and there were a lot of carpenter bees flying around. My son screamed and screamed at the top of his lungs each time he saw one! I can't seem to figure out where this is all coming from. My husband and I have told him not to touch bees, but we made a point not to instill irrational fears towards bees by scaring him (or so we thought). We told him that bees won't bother you if you don't bother them! When I see bees, I pretty much ignore them because I don't want my son to think there is a reason you should be frightened. I simply tell him to say, "Shoo bee, don't bother me."
My son will pick up any worm, ant, bug, creepy-crawly, etc. He is no stranger to nature and loves to get his hands dirty. I just don't understand. How do I calm his fear of bees? It is at a point that he will run inside the house at lightning speed if he sees anything flying!!!
Any ideas? Oh, I also checked out bee books from the library. I thought a little education would calm his fears!
Ugh, I'm STILL terrified of bees... Then again i'm allergic to them so that might have something to do with it.
I don't know were it could come from, unless he got stung by a bee without telling you or something, but I don't really see a problem with it. My fear of bees hasn't harmed my life any.
Sometimes people just develop weird fears and phobias, without anything prompting it. It's normal.
Reading this reminded me of my own son. When he was 3 I could have written the same thing. He wouldn't even play outside becasue of his fear; and it was pure terror; Not just screaming and running but utter terror. He is now 6 and is not as crazy about bees.
Maybe someone told your son bees are scary or he saw someone else being afraid of them.
Reading about the bees did help my son, but I really just talked to him about how it would feel if he was stung, what would happen and then we talked about how it was OK to be afraid but looked for a different way to react when a bee was around and he was afraid. He was still afraid that summer, but was much better the summer after. I will admit though that he did choose to spend a lot of time indoor- but I always tell him, bees live outside so if you want to be outside, you are going to see bees.
And bees are scary if you think about it....
i have bee phobia as well. So much so that I did a 360 on the highway due to a yellow jacket being in my car!! I'm much better than I use to be, but I really have to fight it to keep myself under control. Unfortunately my daughter has picked up on my fear. :( If your son watches cartoon, he may have seen bees attacking in a funny way that made him scared. Do not know how to reverse it though! Best of luck....Oh I am 38 & never been stung, so not so bad I guess. My fear developed from seeing my grandma who is allergic get stung & she had to give herself a shot. freaked me out seeing her struggling to breathe.
There's a great book called "Bee and Me" that's geared for toddlers. It's cute.
I just tell my son that the bees are working. I think your son will outgrow it....unfortunately you aren't the only one around your son I assume. I've seen lots of adults flip out around bees too.
Hmmm.....my son is 3 (almost 4). But, he loves the Bee Movie. What if you got that for your son to watch? There's also a great bee episode of Curious George. It goes thru how George gets stung and then is scared of bees, but then goes to see how bees make honey, etc. Maybe that would help a little? I would just keep it all very lighthearted. Maybe tell him how bees really, really don't want to sting because if they have to sting....they will die and bees really don't want to do that! LOL Bless his heart. I'm 30 and I clam up when I see a bee or wasp! So, I can understand. =0)
Okay this is a cute one, I'm 46 years old and I'm afraid of Bees, bugs anything that can fly around my head, get into my ears! You see what I mean. I can put bait on my own fishing pole and not have a problem at all. I'm sure there is a reason for it. Ask your doctor, he may have not been stung himself but maybe someone else he did see? or a movie? The shoo bee don' bother me, didn't work for me either. :) I have even screamed out myself so I know what your 3 year old is going through and it's horrible, just horrible.
Good luck mom!
Our son definitely went through this, and as a pre-teen is stll not a big fan of bees. His fear included all flying insects. Honestly, he has acute hearing, and I think he could hear them before and more so than the rest of us, and that's what bothered him the most.
A hat helped a lot. It was almost like a security blanket/shield against the bugs. It gave him courage.
Our son had a few other irrational fears. He is on the autistic spectrum, and these fears can be part of that.
It doesn't help to tell a person, child or adult, that they don't need to be afraid of something, or that it won't hurt him, especially if it can indeed hurt him. Acting casual around bees is good, telling the bee to go away is probably ineffective unless the bee magically goes away each time you tell it to. Educating about bees is great, as long as seeing the pictures doesn't send him into a frenzy. If he can tolerate them, even videos might help. I was deathly afraid of bees for several years, but gradually got over my fear by watching them and realizing they hardly registered my presence.
If he's verbal enough, you might have this chat a few times over the next few months: "You really feel frightened when you see bees, don't you, sweetie? (yup!) I understand. Do you want to tell me about it? (nope.) Hmm. I wonder if you're afraid they will sting you? (yup!) You know, lots of people are afraid of that. Even some big people. (oh!) Yep, those little bees seem awfully powerful, if they can scare even grownups, huh? (yup!) Well, I wonder if you know why bees can sting? (???) It's because they are so small, and they make delicious honey that great big animals like to eat. Big, strong animals like bears LOVE honey, and they will wreck the bees' home just to take the honey. Did you know that? (!!!) So the little tiny bees had to come up with a way to protect their homes. They found out they could sting to keep the bears away from their honey. (!!!) Are you planning to steal honey out of a bee's home? (not too likely) Well, I don't think the bees will be interested in you unless you are bothering their home. That's what their stingers are for, protecting their honey. (hmmm – skeptically). So it's okay to be afraid of bees, but they probably won't pay any attention to you unless you're trying to take honey from their home."
If that doesn't gradually lessen his anxiety, you can try the following: "So, being afraid of bees is really spoiling a lot of your fun outside, isn't it? (well, sometimes) Yeah, I'm a little sad when I see you so afraid of bees that you can't even play. <don't mention the screaming> I wonder if there's anything that could help you worry about them less. Do you have any ideas? (maybe, …) Okay, I'll be happy to help you try that. And here's another idea. What if we just watch the bees on the flowers from inside this window / from across the back yard for a little while every day? You might notice that they're not paying a bit of attention to you. Do you think that might help you be less afraid?"
Validate his fear without feeding it, empathize with how difficult it is to be scared, let him know he can talk to you and ask you anything. He may need a year or two, but he should eventually be okay. Tolerant, if not friendly.
Also, look into orchard mason bees, a native variety that can almost never be provoked to sting (and if they do, it's supposed to be a very minor discomfort). You can get inexpensive nesting tubes for them – I have several – and watch them hatch, mate, and build a new season's nest each April/May. They do not make honey. By midsummer, their life cycle is finished, and you wait until next spring to see the next batch. Cute little things!
oh please let me know how this goes, I am the same way w/ bees.....for no reason at all. thanks for posting this and I wish us both, lol, the best w/ this.
My son was the same way, right around that same age too. He was terrified of bugs! In his case though, it was ALL bugs. Now, both of my kids are afraid of bees still. They're 6 and 7. If they see too many bees outside, they'll actually come running inside too. I don't think it's a big deal. When my son was about your son's age, he used to scream when he'd see a flying bug too. I didn't make a big deal out of it
Jen,
We are having bee issues in our household as well. But it's with our 5 1/2 year old daughter. The fear seems to reappear every spring and it's gotten worse every year.
First we tried the gentle route; much hugging and shushing. Next we tried learning everything under the sun about bees that we could thinking that it would take some of the mystery away. We even tried tough love; every time she freaked out, we'd send her inside to play. (Only partially a punnishment)
The truth is, I can't MAKE her be less afraid of bees. What I can do is work on the way she reacts to a bee. Yes she's afraid, yes sometimes it buzzes close. But instead of full body shakes and screaming, we've taught her to breath and say "I'm afraid, but I'm not going to freak out ... I'm afraid, but I'm not going to freak out" and by the third time she breathes those words in and out, the bee is usually gone and on it's way. I realize this advice is for an older child, but I thought I'd give you my advice anyway, since I know you're probably taking any you can get right now.
You might also want to teach him to just simply walk away from bees. Teach him it's the freaking out that bothers the bee. I like the "Shoo bee" idea, but make sure he isn't picking up any waving gestures, as that could in fact excite the bee. We also tell my daughter to say "No bees around me" and to quietly walk away.
I think the farther into the warmer weather, the more used to the bees your son and my daughter will become.
Good gracious, I hope so for BOTH our family's sakes.
Good luck to you!
