Separation Anxiety - Even at Night!!! HELP!

Updated on May 26, 2011
M.O. asks from Barrington, IL
3 answers

This isn't my first child to have gone through this, but I think this is the worse one yet!

Our little guy has gotten a bad case of separation anxiety...couple that with a sensitive gag reflex and it means that almost any time he REALLY gets crying, he throws up, and I mean everywhere! (He's 20 mos old)

The last three nights he's thrown up in his crib after we've done our usual bedtime routine and even sat down with him longer to help him relax. Last night my husband and I EACH sat with him for 30-45 mins. He gets nice and calm, almost asleep and as soon as we move to transfer him to his crib he pops up and yells, "MAMA!"

It seems clear that he just doesn't want to be left alone. He won't sleep in bed with us (not that I want to start that habit either), but we're a little stuck here. Plus he's waking 3-4 times and night and won't go back down until he hears my voice or sees me. He just seems so worried I'm gone.

Should we put a pack n play in our room until he gets over this? He will be using one on vacations this summer, so maybe we should just use the PNP now?

And anytime I try to leave him in the Y childcare he either screams until he throws up or passes out. I've tried sitting with him in there to let him get settled, and it doesn't seem to help. He'll stay calm and wander around a bit until he realizes he can't see me and then screams and looks panicked - all the while I never moved!

Any advice would be appreciated. We need some sleep!

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S.A.

answers from Chicago on

I would totally do the pack n play in your room until he's over this phase. Clearly, nothing else is going to work and who wants to be cleaning puke sheets 3x a night?!? Plus, it will help to get him used to the pack n play for when you're on vacation. My 21 month old son is starting to go through this too for the first time. I didn't think he would at all because he was the only one of my babies that would let anyone hold him, and wasn't afraid of strangers. Now that he's almost two, he's starting this. Weird... Good luck!

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N.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Yes I second the PNP in your room. Your child is only 20 months and just wants to be near his Mama. This will pass eventually but you may have a long road ahead of you. Be there for him. It must be heart breaking to see him throwing up from crying so much!

I can't decipher from your post if you work and that is why you leave him at the Y childcare. If you do that may also be why your son reacts like this. Some children have a hard time being away from their Mama all day. Others are happy and content.

I'm sorry you're going through this. I feel your pain. My son was just like this and didn't start sleeping on his own until right after his 4th bday. He is almost 6 now. Those days seem like forever ago. There were days I didn't think I would survive, but I did!!!

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A.P.

answers from Chicago on

I ended up putting my sons mattress on the floor of my room for about 4 months because he would just scream and cry for momma all the time (around 14-18 months I guess). He didn't like the pack and play for some reason, the mattress just worked better for us. He's still pretty clingy but at least now sleeps all night in his own room. Even though you'll have to break the habit of him sleeping in your room you need to get your sleep now and you can cross that next bridge when the time comes.
Good Luck. It's so hard being a momma!

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