My Daughter Is One and All of a Sudden Will Not Sleep in Her Crib!!

My little girl did the same thing at 9 months. We put her in a bed and she is GREAT! A mattress on the floor or a low-rise bed has been perfect for us. It is not worth the heartache to keep her in the crib.

Do you have stuffed animals in the crib for her to cuddle with? Do you have a board book for her to read? or a blanket to snuggle with? My son has all these things in his crib & the really help.
We also have a well defined bedtime routine. We read books in my bedroom for about half an hour. I make him lay down in bed with me so he starts to relax. Reading right now mostly consists of me pointing out & naming the pictures in the book. We have a big bag of books next to my bed & let him pick the ones he wants. Sometimes we will "read" one book about 20 times. Other days we will just look at the cover of every book. One night he just wanted to keep reading, so I put him in his crib with that book. Most nights I lay him down & hand him a stuffed animal to cuddle with.
He is not a perfect sleeper. He usually goes to bed ok, but has periods when he will wake up during the night. I often have to rock/sing him back to sleep. We also had to go through a period of letting him cry it out. We haven't had the throw up issue, so
i don't know what to do about that, but maybe having routines or something to cuddle with will help. Or it may be time to move to a bed.
Some other ideas: get a night light (if she takes good naps, maybe the room is just too dark); get a white noise machine or play a radio or a favorite cd (house maybe too quiet at night); play a movie (if she has a fav, like sesame street, play it at bed time until she falls asleep; some people will say this is a bad habit, but I know a lot of adults that fall asleep to the tv every night, why should kids be any different?)

Hi C.,

It sounds to me that your daughter is experiencing separation anxiety. Some say that 12 months is the peak for this. I know you feel desperate, but believe me, so does your daughter. She is behaving this way, not because she is trying to try to get one over on you, but because she is feeling a desperate need for contact with you. If you work with her with compassion and understanding and wisdom, it should be a temporary phase.

I agree with you that vomiting from emotional upset is not good. It's not all that uncommon, but definitely something you want to avoid.

Babies have needs and they let us know what they are in the language they have---crying. Always think down the road---the main things you want to teach your daughter, what is most important in your relationship with her.

I sincerely hope you and your daughter get these sleep issues worked out. Feel free to let me know how it goes.

Below, I will quote some websites and then list the site addresses at the end.

Take care,
K.
www.joyfulconnections.net (parent resources and coaching)

According to to Merck website:
"Separation anxiety is normal for infants at about 8 months of age, is most intense between 10 and 18 months of age, and usually resolves by 2 years of age."

Dr. Greene says: "Sleep is a scary separation." He also says that it normally lasts about 2 to 4 months. He lists some fun games (such as peek-a-boo and where's the baby?) to help your child learn about object permanence (helping her to learn that you still exist even though she can't see you and that you will return).

A recommendation from helpguide: "Practice separation for brief periods and short distances, increasing as the child can tolerate it. Praise the child for managing well. If your baby initiates separation by going into another (babyproofed) room, wait a few minutes before going after him; this will enhance his sense of independence."

www.merck.com/mmhe/sec23/ch267/ch267f.html
www.drgreene.com/21_1183.html
www.babycenter.com/0_separation-anxiety_145.bc
www.helpguide.org/mental/separation_anxiety_causes_preven...

I am in the same boat! My son is only 9mo, but he will wake up at night and not go back to sleep in his crib. He will wake up right away too and cry for me. I would put him in my bed and most times he will go right back to sleep, but it is not my ideal situation. I don't mind a couple hours, but lately it's getting to be too long that he wants to be in my bed! He also thinks he needs his own pillow now too, so he will be half asleep crawling around trying to put his head on my or my husband's pillows! It's funny for about 5 sec. but then I am just worn out! I wonder if it's the separation anxiety thing?? I will have to check back to see what other moms say. Sorry I couldn't help!

How old is your daughter? My thought is, is that she knows if she screams, and makes herself throw up, you will be right there. Could be attention, or she could really have no control.My daughter at the age of 18 months would throw little fits when I took something away from her or take her away from something that she shouldn't have. And she would cry, and gag a bit, and then sometimes throws up. I don't think you have anything to worry about. She is just working herself up too much. Have you ever coughed so much that you gagged? It's the same thing, except with crying. My cousin also gags a bit when she gets too upset. They just aren't allowing themselves enough time to swallow and relax, and they gag which can result in them throwing up. The only thing that you can really do, is try to get them to calm down. Yes, easier said than done. But, rather than that, she just has to realize that she can make it stop herself. Stick by her mamma.

C.,
This is tough. Can you do white noise/soft music/etc. to try to make it cozier if she does wake up? You could get her up, change diaper, rock her & put her back down. That would avoid the puking, although requires more energy & attention from you. Put her is the crib very drowsy but not sleeping. My son used to cue me by turning his head to the side, and I knew it was "the time"! Books on CD playing to interest her? Soft classical or lullabyes?
Have you tried the Supernanny technique where you sit IN her room but do not LOOK at her? Keep moving to the door.
Trust me--this is pivotal point of whether she sleeps in her room or in your bed. With another O. on the ay, you need to be able to count on this O. sleeping peacefully in her own crib!
See the other responses having to do with toddler beds...it would most likely be a nightmare if she could get up and walk around the house at O. year old. Best advice for the future--unless she is climbing out--leave the crib til they are 3.
Good luck!

Hi C.,

She may be starting night time separation anxiety. I would suggest putting her in the crib and then laying down on the floor next to the crib so she can see you and stay there (and pretend you are asleep) until she is asleep or almost asleep and then sneak out. We waited too long to try this method and spent many long nights rocking and rocking trying to get my son back to sleep. Once we layed on the floor a few times in a row, he knew what to expect and very quickly calmed down and layed down on his own and eventually drifted off to sleep. Some nights it would take an hour or more for him to finally give in to sleep, but it was worth it to avoid the screaming and crying every time we left the room. Hope this helps. It does get better!

Hi C., I feel your pain. I had a daughter that could throw-up at will everytime she was upset! Thank goodness we finally ended that habit when she was 6. I suggest you try having Dad put her to bed! Put together a solid routine for bedtime that you can really stick to and even if it means you have to leave the house for a while let Dad try the bed thing. For whatever reason my hubby always could put our daughters down wide awake and they would go right to sleep (yup all three!) if I tried they would fight and fuss and it was awful. If that doesn't work maybe it's time to change to a toddler bed. If you switch I recommend that you use a babygate in the doorway of her bedroom so that you can keep her in her room (limit the number of toys in the room as well) while still able to hear her and she won't be able to close the door on her fingers or anything like that. Best wishes!

My 2 sons did the same thing. Once they find out how comfortable your bed is, nothing compares! I ended up buying a mattress and putting it on the floor in their room. I started by sleeping in there with them, then spending a shorter and shorter time. It took a long time and my one son, at 5, will often still wake in the middle of the night and ask to see me. Most would say she's too young for a bed, but you need to do what works for you and keep her safe.

Trying staying in the room but look away and say nothing and do it till she goes to sleep. I know throwing up is a pain but don't let that stop you from getting her to sleep clean her up and right back in her bed and continue to stay in her room. She will learn it is bed time and will go to sleep on her own this is only a stage that alot of 1 yr olds go through and hang in there. Consistency is the key.Good luck

My suggestion is getting her a toddler bed. My daughter wouldn't sleep in her crib (which was partly our fault)she slept with us. but with the toddler bed she felt like a big girl and it took a while for her to fall asleep without us in the room but she got used to it. What we did was lay on the floor next to her bed until she fell asleep. We also had a gate on her room in case she got up i didn't want her leaving the room.

My son who is now 10 did the same thing. He was about 12-14 months. He would sleep in his crib fine, then all of the sudden he wouldn't. He would SCREAM. We tried all of the methods to sooth him, nothing worked. Then he started with the throwing up. My husband or myself would then take him clean him up and put him in our bed, while the other one cleaned up the crib, sheets and carpet. By that point we were all exhausted, so he would just sleep with us. I got to the point that I was laying beach towels on the carpet for easier clean up. One night, I was too tired, and the vomit was mostly on the floor. My husband came to take him, and I said "no, leave him". Please don't be shocked, but I let him sleep in the puke (it honestly wasn't bad). He never threw up again. (without actually being sick) It was maybe 2 months later that we went to a toddler bed. I thought he was young for it, but it was the race car that the crib mattress fit into, and he liked it. At first I had to lay with him, but that got easier too.
Good luck,

My now 20 yr old went through this stage. She was around 1 and I was expecting another baby and trying to get her in her crib. It was a very hard and trying time. I had the help of my mother (w/o her I couldnt of done this) for a week or so I would go for a walk and my mother would put her down for bed. Which resulted in hysterical screaming to the point of vomiting. In which, my mother would go in clean her up and the crib and put her back in the bed and talk to her assuring her she was fine and it was bed time. There in the beginning my daughter would vomit several times before calming (well crying herself to sleep). The first 3 or 4 nights were the worse. Like I said, I was sent for a walk b/c I couldnt of done it. Eventually my daughter got the picture and was sleeping on her own. My mother did start out rocking and singing her to a point where she was drowsy before putting her into the bed. Being consistant will be your life saver. Eventually your baby will learn the routine and settle into it. Its not going to be easy. Im now 41 with another 1 yr old and having to do the bed time thing with her (amazing just my girls had this problem lol) this baby isnt as dramatic as the last but it takes her 15 to 20 min of screaming and drama before she begins to settle and go to sleep. Its not easy but can be fixed.. good luck..