J.G.
Well thats not fair, more of your post didn't make sense.
Oh hun it isn't easy. He needs to understand that his unemployment has put an unfair burden on both of you. Just as he has the stress of what will happen if he doesn't find a job, you have the same stress. You are doing everything you can to earn money and take care of the house and I would imagine you can't see any more you can give if he doesn't find a job.
You both need to sit down and talk but before you do, both do your best to put yourself in the other's shoes. You need to understand he was not raised to be the nurturer or house cleaner and such. He is trying to come to grips with what his role may be in the long and short term. Still he needs to understand that you are doing all you can and he needs to use less hurtful words to explain what he needs from you.
You need to express your stress to him in a less negative way. Perhaps explaining you need time to wind down, you need to vent, you need whatever.
Most of all you need to communicate in a way that keeps the communication open. Comments like you are ugly to me will put up walls. Always telling him the bad things about work brings him down. I guess try to say something positive every time you come home even if it takes the whole ride home to glean it from the day.
Good luck
I feel kinda bad deleting my last post but still....yeah if anyone wants to have fun take out sayings and use different words. Like my extricate one's cranium from their anal cavity instead of pulling one's head out of their...I am very defensive of moms, it doesn't matter if we work or stay home. No one is ugly!