Seeking Moms with Teenage Boys

Updated on April 14, 2008
A.T. asks from Ridgewood, NY
4 answers

I have a 16 year old that is an Honor Student. But, he is that stage of his life that he wants to be his own person. He talks back, wears one glove, is always in a daze. He is a very indivdual, independent kid. He does not know what he wants out of life and does not care much about the people around him. I am worried that he might have some outside influence. I want to get a pyschologist to talk to him maybe he would open up to someone else.

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S.L.

answers from New York on

I myself have a teenage girl, AARGH! My biggest concern is his lack of concern for people around him, the other stuff is pretty normal. My husband and I are Youth Leaders in our church and work with nothing but teenagers both girls and boys weekly on Friday nights. Fridays are primarily when teens get into alot of dangerous and unproductive activities. We offer fellowship and other positive teens that can talk and learn from each other. They all are going through issues that they find easier and just relieved that they have company in those areas. I don't claim it is the answer to your sons stage but it can't hurt, write me back if you would like more info.

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D.D.

answers from New York on

I am a mother of three, two who are now young adults and one who will be 18 within the next few weeks. Each of my children underwent the transitional phase of gloves, daze and confused, loud music, anti-social behavior. I too am a liberal parent encouraging open communications. Although I extended friendship, I also instill that I was the parent. My initial reaction to your post is that your son is doing exactly what the average young person does before they take that leap into young adult. Being a teenage in a world that is filled with so many stimuli is difficult, being a teenage in a time of the types of pressure that existence today is overwhelming. Next, you will be faced with the pressures and confusion of college applications, acceptance and separation anxiety. My only suggestion is continue to communicating in a tune that is positive and encouraging. Focus on his wonderful abilities and understand his frustration with his surroundings. For my youngest, martial arts helped with some the issues that he was facing internally which help with focusing on possibilities for interests and life goals. My son is beginning to fit into his own skin per say. Be patient and communicate often (sometime communication is just listening and/or being there). Good luck, but you really don’t need it – you will both be fine.

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C.C.

answers from New York on

I have a 15 yr old son, and he is just entering some sort of weird phase. I am being proactive (immediately). I have applied for a Summer job for ____@____.com/dycd (department of youth community development). I also looked in PAL (police athletic leagues), Job Corps and a few other resources (TO KEEP HIM SO DARN BUSY).
THINK ABOUT WHEN YOU'RE BUSY ALL DAY AT WORK, (OR) HOME AND WHEN THE DAY IS DONE, YOU'RE SOOOO TIRED, TOO TIRED TO REALLY DO ANYTHING (EXCEPT AS MOTHER'S OUR JOB IS NEVER DONE)
(THAT IS MY POINT) chuckles... best of luck it does get easier... C.

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R.B.

answers from New York on

Welcome to my world!! My son is 17 and has the potential to be an honor student but has settled instead to just get by. He goes to school and has a part time job. He too talks back and wants to hang out without letting "mommy" know where he is going because he is not a baby.

I thought that there was something I could do about this but everyone I have talked to claims that this is a phase and remind me of how bad things could be. I hear things like, "he's not on drugs", "at least he's going to school", "he could be in a gang or something", and "at least he has a job and isn't selling drugs or robbing people".

While all of these things are true it doesn't make me feel any better. When I mention going to counseling he thinks I'm blaming him for "somethin" and I think he's crazy.

Teenage boys are the worse cell phones, myspace, music, and girls. OMG!!!

Good Luck

Take some comfort in the fact that you are no alone and none of us really has the answer. Don't blame yourself and don't allow others to blame you either.

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