I know exactly how you feel, and I guarantee you that you are not alone. My children are both in school now, so I have a little freedom. However, it wasn't long ago when I was in your shoes. I hear what you are saying about feeling lucky to be able to stay at home, but simply feel unmotivated. It is hard when at this stage in life things can tend to be monotones. I wish I had some life changing advice to give you, but I'm not as creative as some of the other moms on here. The few things that have come to my mind is this: Be encouraged, it is only a matter of time before you are going to be home alone with all children in school. This is precious time you have, monotones or not. Consider sitting down and mapping out a new routine, something to change the pace and possibly get things in a new grove for you and the kids. Your kids are at a good age to give them things to do on their own. Are they helping you around the house? If not, it is time that they are responsible for a few things. It sounds like you may benefit from some time alone, or with other adults. Plan a weekly play date with a few friends. You could rotate houses or meet at a park when it warms up. Do you and the hubby get any time alone? I find that I appreciate my children much more, when I get an opportunity to miss them a little. Get a sitter or have friends or family watch the kids and spend a day and/or evening alone with your hubby. I realize that I may be making some assumptions here, not having much to go on as far as information about how your days go. It is possible that you do all the above and I have not helped you out much. Another thing to consider, with the mentioning of guilt, is that you may be experiencing some depression. The best of us experience it, and it may be caused by the long winter that we have been experiencing in Spokane. You may want to consider seeing your doctor to find out. Your doctor can give you a test to determine if that is the case or not and you can go from there to decide on a treatment. It doesn't mean a life long sentence. Many need help only temporarily. This is just something to consider. I hope this was a little helpful. Good luck! :)
