Seeking an Understanding Ear...

Try an herbal remedy at Akin's Health Food Store called Focusyn, or something like that. As a teacher, I saw it work first-hand in one of my students. Her mom hadn't told me she was giving it to her until one day when she asked if I had noticed any change lately, which I had! This would be a stepping stone to considering meds, as well as some other changes in diet.

Hi M.!
My son is 11 and we are in a waiting game as well. His father and I are divorced and I have been trying for years to convice my ex to have my son tested. He is in 5th grade and every teacher he has had has mentioned his inability to pay attention and stay on task. My ex finally consented to having it done and since my son is older, his pediatrician is having us do the comprehensive testing that will show any kind of learning disability he might have. We have been on a waiting list since mid-May...
His grades have been better this year than last, but he still has trouble paying attention. We are having our first parent/teacher tomorrow. I do email and speak to his teachers about his progress weekly and they know that he is on a waiting list for testing. We had an excellent teacher last year who worked with my son and helped him alot and I was hoping that my son would be tested this past summer so that we could give him the a great start for this new school year.
I realize that your son probably doesn't have homework yet, but I find that with homework, it works better if my son gets little breaks during it. I have him do the homework that he doesn't need help with first, then once he is working on the subjects that he needs help with, I stop and help him. I have him do his homework in the same place every night and try to be consistent as much as I can. As far as home, I try to give one task at a time. Instead of saying "Go clean your room" which will overwhelm a child with ADHD, say, "Pick your clothes up off the floor" Once he does that, give him something else to do-this has kept me from having to tell my son ten times to do something-which makes for less stress. Those two bits of information came from his teacher last year and helped us so much!!
I hope the next five days until your appointment fly by for you and I hope that everything works out. Take care!! :-)

M., I have been in your same situation. Well I guess not exactly becuase we never too our two kids to the doc to have them diagnosed. I have 7 kids and two of mine have had hard times starting out in school. I cry many times over them thinking that I was going to "have" to put them on meds. I felt deep down I didnt' want to start down that road. We along with the teachers did things at home and school to try to help them. Lots of behavior modification. Good behavior rewards both at home and at school. I first hand know your frustration. YOu have to do what you feel is best. If that is drugs fine, if its not then listen to your motherly instincts. The world just wants them to shut up and do what they are suppose to. When in fact children are so much more complicated than that. They are now in 5th and 2nd and are doing so much better. YOUr son is also a boy and boys have so much more energy than the rest of us. What ever you decide just know that you are not alone and hang in there.

My son was diagnosed at 5 also with Adhd. We did everything first, weekly therapy sessions, hearing tests, learning tests, etc and finally agreed to put him on Adderall. He is the poster child for Adderall. He is now 9 and doing great. We have had a moment or two where his weight increased so it was time to go increase the meds, but once that was done, he was back to my adorable son again. I am for medicine, as long as you get the regular checkups, bloodwork, etc and keep a track on how he is doing physically.

If you trust your physician then you need to follow up with his advice. ADHD/ADD is a biological disorder, like Diabetes or Depression. It effects how he processes his world and behaves but if it is truly ADHD/ADD then he may need medication to correct the biological problem for a period of time. His brain is firing off at an amazing speed and he cannot control it. The thoughts and impulses just bounce around and around. Think how hard this may be for him.

I have a friend who took her son off all red dye 40, he acts better, another took her children off all wheat products, chocolate, all sugar, and dairy. They act differently. You know your child. Maybe he doesn't like school and just needs a longer adjustment period. Lots of kids get diagnosed at this age because teachers see multiple kids year after year and they are able to recognize the symptoms rather quickly.

How many more days are you and your husband going to be able to take off and stay at school? Consider your options, think about the advice of the doctor, think about the child's diet, put them in sports, look for information at your local library, get a second opinion if needed, medication isn't the worst thing that can happen to a child.

I refused to put my child on any medication because I thought it was bad. I blamed the teacher. I went to class to observe how JM acted. I told the teacher I couldn't pay attention to what she was doing because the room was too busy. There were posters on every surface, stuff on every counter top, I couldn't even tell you what the teacher was doing the whole time I was there. She put JM in a corner facing in and took all the stuff off the wall, it didn't help. JM dropped out of school at 15, works in menial jobs that no one else wants to do, is not able to pass entrance level tests to attend even a junior college because she never was able to learn how to process getting the information from the page into her brain. When she finally went to live with her dad because I couldn't cope anymore he put her in Soccer, both indoor and outdoor year round. Her father was diagnosed with Adult ADHD several years ago and has been able to make changes in his life and has finally held down the same job for 9 years, he had 18 jobs in the 4 years we were married. He makes good money and enjoys many time consuming hobbies and interests that he wasn't able to before.

Hope this helps. I feel that my non action when JM was a child has had long term effects that are detrimental to her adult life. I wish I had taken the time to think about my options and made different choices. Medication may still not have been my choice but I would like to think that hindsight is 20/20 and I would have made better choices.

G

Hi M.,
I agree with what Mary M ,Thu. Oct. 23, 2008 response was. I worked at school with several ADHD children, ADD children, and learning disabled children. I have learned from them that structure is very important. Each day following the same routine, gave them a since of stability. I worked with children that supposenly couldn't sit still long enough to do nothing and that were throwing tantrums constantly, and once I set rules and gave them a routine, miracles happen. The principals, etc. couldn't believe the change not only in their schoolwork but also in their behavior. Give lots of encouragement. An after school break is necessary. Just think of it this way. If you've been working all day long,"Wouldn't you want a break?" I say about a half an hour to an hour. And let him/her know that after school he/she will get a break(set a time, from 3-4 example) and let he/she know the time. Either give him a timer or show him/her when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the five. This will give him a sense of responsibility. Don't enable him, Even though it's easier to do it yourself, etc. I had several parents stop me and say, "My gosh, the change in so and so is amazing, what did you do?" My answer was I believed in he/she. I didn't treat them differently. So many times teachers/parents give in to the child and enable them. I understand that there is an issue to deal with, but don't make it bigger than what it is.

Give him a routine. Write it out. As far as school goes, you mentioned he's smart, is it possible that he's bored. When he has free time with no work have the teacher have busy work for him. It doesn't necessarily have to be schoolwork it could be something challenging. When he's test taking they make stress balls.(it's these balls that are made out of foam and you sqeeze them). The trick is while they're taking the test you have them hold this and it helps them to stay in their seat and focus.

Sincerely,
A.

Hi M.. I am praying for you on this.
ADHD is a SYMPTOM of a deeper problem. The meds
won't fix it, although they can alleviate some things temporarily.
Please see my response to Carolyn B's latest request.

Many blessings to you and yours,
H.

Now, wait a minute. The fact that your son starting having troubles when he started school seems to indicate that this is not a physical (chemical) problem, but an emotional one. Of course, if you take him to a doctor, the doctor will think in terms of medications (if you're a hammer, everything is a nail). If you take your son to a counselor (not psychiatrist! They're just doctors, too!), the counselor will probably think in terms of what at school, or about school, is troubling your son. It IS quite an adjustment, after all. Maybe you and your family just need to know how to handle the adjustment.

I think there's very good reason to believe that your son isn't ADHD at all. Just look at his needs, and meet them. Try to talk to him about his fears. And get him/your family some counseling. Can do worlds of good!

L.

Did this behavior at school come as a surprise to you? Or is this the behavior that you see in all settings (home, church, day care, friend's house). If he has consistent behavioral issues and has for quite some time then the diagnosis may be correct.

The thing about ADHD is that there are MANY behavioral tools that can work wonders too. If you are not yet working with a quality child therapist, please find one. Your son is probably very frustrated with the way school has started out this year. You need a supportive ear and lots of tools to help you cope. A therapist can assist both of you. School success is very possible, it will just take a little more creativity.

ADHD medications can help greatly. It doesn't hurt to try. The newer medications are much better (time release, etc). Monitor his progress and watch for side effects. Ultimately you are the parent and it is your decision not the schools. It would be unfair to him to withhold the meds if they really could help with his success.

My nephew has this and his grandmother gave him a caffeine pill and noticed a difference. Teachers use to use coffee. They work the opposite on the child as they do normally. They slow down and are able to focus. These children do need a structured life. Steady meals and schedules. They usually need one on one with someone to learn because too much is going on in the room to keep still. They have used montesoirre (I'm not sure about the spelling)techniques to help.There is also a blind you can purchase to go around their desk so they only see the teacher and helps them to focus. Finally some kids have to move to learn.

Have you looked into Dr's that use behavior therapy before putting him on drug therapy. I went to University of Southern Mississippi and had a Dr.Olmi. He was a super teacher and therapist. Behavior therapy is something you should try first if possible.
In prayer,
N.

i was so against meds i put my daughter in a christian school..mainly because the teacher never told me and when i went for parent teacher conferences she told me if i didnt she could not and would not teach my daughter ...i put her in the new school and she has the highest grade point average...this worked for her but my son wanted to say in the school he is in now..his teacher came to me from the beginning and let me know every day...i went to school with him last year some but he was fine...this year he couldnt seem to do his work so i took him to the dr..we put him on med just to try..he said if he didnt have ADHD he would not respond to it...it has actually helped so much...he loves school...he never really got in trouble just couldnt finish anything he started ..his med only last 4 hours he takes before and at lunch..by the time hes home hes totally fine...i think it totally depends on the child

Hi M.,

My now 15 year old son was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 5 also. We spent the first two years trying every "natural" remedy we could find out about. Here's what had limited success.

1) We muted his colors in his room and clothing. Red seemed to trigger episodes so we asked that the teacher limit contact with any student wearing it...when he did have issues with another child they generraly were wearing red.

2) We used aroma therapy, specifically vanilla. I used a plug-in at home and supplied the classroom with one also. The teachers noted that they saw a slight improvement with the entire class.

3) We tried an all natural diet and vitamins with very limited success.

4) After two years we finally admitted to ourselves that ADHD is a medical/behavioral disorder and tried medication with a marked improvment.

Our son was later diagnesed with Asperger's Syndrome, ODD and bi-polar in addition to the ADHD and he can no longer take the standard ADHD meds. They trigger his bi-polar and thats worse than ADHD.

What helped us is keeping a three ring binder with notes, med charts and any corresponse with the school. Does your child have an IEP? If you need additional information or assistance on an IEP I'd be happy to help...I've learned a few things during our sons 10 years in school. I also have med charts and stuff that I can email to you that helps keep track of your childs progress.

Good luck,
W.

I've been told that caffiene works the same way as some of the ADHD meds kids are given, try a litte Mountain Dew some morning and see how things go while you are waiting for a diagnosis-I know it sounds insane and would have the opposite effect, but it increases the ability of the brain to stay focused. You may research it, try it at home and see if you see a change for the better. It can't hurt, I think I rather use soda than a prescription if I could. God Bless

Hi M.. My son doesn't have ADHD, but was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome (an autism spectrum disorder). His behavior over the years has been extremely difficult. He started a new med this year that has been helping alot and we've seen some encouraging things. I can say that I know how hard it is and how difficult it is to deal with the stresses of the behavior. I constantly look at my phone to make sure I haven't missed a call from school saying he was acting up, I stay on the edge of my seat. It gets a little easier as time goes and acceptance settles in. Your skin will toughen, so to speak. Just so you know, you're not alone; you're not the only person out there dealing with these kinds of issues. I can remember feeling so alone at the beginning & thinking we were the only people in the world with this problem. Seek out a support group, talk to and spend some time with other parents going through this same struggle. It will help. Develop friendships with them so that when you need to vent, they'll be there and understand EXACTLY what you're saying...they'll be there to share milestones with as well. They'll get excited over the small victories that will come. Hang in & if you ever need anything, please email!

This really is a decision that you shouldn't rush into. You and your husband will ultimately decide what's best for your child and your family. I would only encourage you to make as educated of a decision as possible. Find out what the side effects and risks are of the medication (if you do your homework, you'll know more than your doctor on the topic). Research the alternative's ie; nutrition, naturopathy, & even chiropractic. ADD & ADHD are directly related to the nervous system, spinal adjustments can have a profound impact on the syptoms. To start you off in the right direction for research I would use mercola.com. Just type ADD or ADHD into the search engine for the sight & be prepared for a wealth of information. Manny Blessings, DJ

We have started a nutrition class for moms like you and a meal planning club. Go to www.naturalfoodscooking.com and see what we are doing. We would love to help. P.

Children with ADHD are exhausting, but they are very very smart!

My son's doctor -- some 20 years ago -- gave me some good advice -- the meds are like one leg on a table. There are some other things you'll need to do to make sure the table stays level. I don't remember all of the other three legs, but the ones I do remember: diet (Anthony "pinged" off walls with red and yellow food coloring, chocolate, and several other foods); organizational skills -- we'd make a calendar for projects, he'd go to school with an assignment book that was initialed by the teachers (that was done through the 9th grade), we'd plan ahead rather than hurry, hurry, hurry which just feeds the ADHD behavior; and the fourth leg escapes me. Yes, there were some very trying years but Anthony has graduated from college (without meds because he has learned to adapt and carries that DayTimer with him everywhere).

Good luck -- my husband was little help because he didn't want to admit there were problems (he's has ADD too but is super smart and fully able to cope). Do I think Anthony would have an easier go of it if he were still on meds? I think so (we have an adult friend who takes medication every day for his ADHD).

Most of all, it takes a GREAT DEAL of patience on your end -- and there were some days I had no more patience! I made sure when Anthony came home from school he could go outside and run around for a half an hour or so to get rid of some of the energy. You'll find little tricks too....

Good luck,
M.