6 Y/o Son w/ADHD - Advice from a Mom Who Has Been There?

well there's also a 50% chance he's not ADHD
I don't trust a dx of an under 7 yr old child for ADHD.
what exactly is he doing that makes them think he has ADHD?
I second Dr Barkley's book.

Well, if you "think" he needs help, then perhaps you can try "alternative" "methods" by seeking the "help" of an occupational or a behavioral therapist who specializes in adhd.

If "those" don't "work" and he still needs a bit of help, then maybe the "medication" is a good last resort, but I would be certain he needed it first.

From a Mom who has been there...I would take him to a Developmental Pediatrican, or to a Board Certified Child Psychiatrist/ Neuropsychologist combo and get a full evaluation from someone who can tell you with more than a 50% accuracy, AND who knows that your pediatrician is NOT the medical specialist who should prescribe ADHD meds.

Sorry, I would not take my child to a Non Doctor who could not diagnose a medical condition (PhD's can't) and then ask a doctor who is not a specialist in what ever to prsecribe something for what he "might" have. If a PhD said that he might have kidney desease, you would go to a Urologist, right? Go to see a specialist. That is either a Develpmental Pediatriian or a Psychiatrist.

Good luck to you. Read, read, read too. Check and see if there is a chapter of CHADD in your area, get Additudes magazine, read anything by Dr. Russel Barkely or Dr. Mel Levine. Log on to www.wrightslaw.com and learn to navigate the school system. Even very smart kids with ADHD may need help, espeically with behavior, and especially boys. If his teacher has said that she thinks he has ADHD, she obligated the school to do an evaluation as well.

I would get a new psychologist and a good cognative behavioral therapist that gives you better advice than this. If you need help with parenting, they will tell you what to do to support him, but most parents with an undiagnosed ADHDer have parented the child the best that they could, and typical stuff does not work, so we need more targeted help than "you are too accepting" which just says to me that this PhD is not a good help to you. I would not spend another penny on them.

M.

The best help your son needs is learning how to organize and set schedules. From our experience, our son was tested after we had tried medication for a year as a teenager. He had symptoms as early as 3rd grade. The medication helped him concentrate in class, but he refused to write down any assignments and due dates for events. His IQ is very high, and he refused any assistance in college. He has always excelled in academics and music, but without the organizational skills, he missed homework assignments mostly. At 19 he still refuses to use a calendar, or organizer. We have to "coach" him from 100's of miles away to get him through. Follow your mom instincts.

I would get another opinion if I were you. My daughter who is now 7 was diagnosed with it when she was 5. She was already in a special ed program at school due to learning disabilities and a speech impairment. The school had her tested and had a pyschologist come in to evaluate her. They came to the conclusion that she does have ADHD. However, I didn't just take their word for it, I spoke to the pediatrician and also took her to a Child Study Center to have her tested and evaluated. And they too discovered that yes she does have ADHD. I then went back to the pediatrician with the findings and discussed my options. She explained that there was a study done on kids with ADHD where they seperated them into 3 seperate groups. One group just did behavioral modification, the second group did just medication, and the third group did both. A year later they were evaluated again to see which group had the most improvement and it was found that the third group that did both showed the most improvement. With behavior modification, everyone around the child has to be on the same plan and be very consistent at all times for it to work and we all know how hard that is. Medication can only do so much. It's meant to help, not be a cure all. Doing both makes sense. At least to me it did. That is what we chose to do. And let me tell you what a huge difference it made! She improved by leaps and bounds! In fact she is now in regular classes at school, no longer in the special ed classes! Still in speech therapy but that's it! She is now able to focus and concentrate on what she is doing. We are so glad to have done what we did. So my advice to you is get another opinion. Get with your pediatrician and find out if there is such a place like a Child Study Center or another place that offers such services. Good luck and know that you aren't alone! :)

This might be VERY late, but I would change his daily schedule (more sleep, maybe naps or quiet time on weekends, specific screen times), use some supplements (loads of information online that you could try a few low-cost options first), change his diet (more water or even flavored waters, sneeky veggies or fruits) before I put him on medication.

50% might only be these small changes or an accumulative "plan" that works. Just like with adults and high blood pressure or high cholesterol, take the route of least intervention in steps possible!:)

Good luck mom!

I agree with those who have posted about having your child thoroughly evaluated by truly qualified professionals before even considering medication, especially at your son's age and because the diagnosis is 50% (?) That's pretty weak, he could still just be growing and developing, boys are often labeled too quickly because of their lack of focus and fidgeting. My daughter was diagnosed only through the school's special education teacher (at the age of 10, once I was sure there was more than immaturity going on) and I accepted the diagnosis because 1) she truly has, and always has had, since infancy, many of the signs and 2) she gets extra (resource) help at school which benefits her greatly. IF we ever decide that medication may be necessary we will get her more thoroughly tested at that point (her pediatrician is totally on board with this.) As far as helping your son in the mean time, we have had good results with both a healthy diet and strenuous exercise. My daughter is on a competitive gymnastics team, she is in 6th grade and works out MWF from 4 to 8 pm. Yes, for most kids (including my older two!) that would be way too much but she NEEDS to burn off all that excess energy, and the focus and repetition required for gymnastics helps her brain exercise too. It might be beneficial for your son if you could find something like this, maybe martial arts (?) Best of luck :)

My 7 year old has been diagnosed with ADHD/ADD. Like yours it was a "loose" diagnosis. We have been dealing with this for the last 2 years. He does exhibit some of the signs of ADHD. He also exhibits some of the signs of Autism. But that was never even mentioned in his evaluations. I say this because Im not convinced that he really has either problem. We got medication BUT... I got meds only as a last resort to shut the school up. Unbeknownst to them he doesnt take his meds unless he's been having a few bad days in a row. I stay away from the meds as much as possible because I feel that he needs to learn how to control himself and deal with his problems himself. I dont mean that as cruelly as it sounds. I just feel that if he is medicated all the time he will never learn how to deal with the issues he has. He has to be able to feel his problems to fix them.
That being said I also take advantage of everything that his ADHD/ADD diagnosis has to offer. He has an IEP which helps the school know his issues and gets him a teacher that can deal with ADHD kids. He gets Learning Intervention services to help him where he falls behind. Etcetera, etc. My advice is to get a second opinion because you can never be "to accepting" of your own child in this situation. Its your job to help him. You have good instincts, it sounds like. Go with your gut and dont do anything that you feel wouldnt be in the best interest of your child, regardless of what the "experts" say.
Oh, and if he is of higher than average intelligence maybe he is simply bored in class. That can cause a lot of "behavior issues".

Many very intelligent children are "ADHD". This does not mean that they have a disability. It's just a different way of mental processing.

I had an ADHD Piano Student who learned 9 levels in 1 year! A lot of boys that are High Intelligence are ADHD. I would figure out with him and with a naturopath whether medication is really necessary. Most medications that are prescribed aren't even tested on children. Some of the medications have bad side-effects.

I would really keep teaching him, and making sure that he is learning well, and ONLY use medication as a last resort.

A lot of different processing problems can be called "ADD" or "ADHD", or even plain behaviour problems caused through sugar, food coloring, or MSG in the diet. My daughter has ADD through a speech processing problem. The best thing you can do is find out exactly "what is the problem - EXACTLY", maybe you can teach him out of it. But again, a lot of things have a tendency to clear themselves up as the child gets older.

I held my son back a year from school because he, too was ADD and just wasn't ready for a classroom environment. It turned out to be a good thing that I did that. He did much better than my daughter who I didn't hold back.

I had to deal with this same issue when my son was 6 and he is now 8. I was one of these mothers that always said my kids will never be on meds to make them behave, I felt like I would be less of a mother if I did that, but when my son was struggling at school I started to reconsider my thinking. My sons teacher was a wonderful woman who worked with my son, and I decided to talk with his doctor. My son always had trouble focusing if there were other noises or people talking when he was trying to do school work, he could not block out those noises like we can. So with much prayer my husband and I decided to give the meds a try. I am so glad that we did to, his grades came up almost immediately. He went from a level 11 in reading to a 17 in a month. I was also worried that the meds would change him, but he is the same happy little boy just he now can focus. I can say that I am glad that I made the decision to put him on the meds.

My son is on the focalin and we started out with a small dose and worked our way up from there, he has only had to increase his med 2 times and he has been on the meds for 2 years, his dose is 15mg a day.

Good luck with your son!!

One book that helped us was "Quirky Kids: Understanding and Helping Your Child Who Doesn't Fit In- When to Worry and When Not to Worry" by Perri Klass and Eileen Costello.

My son has Aspergers/ADHD. I think I knew by the time he was 3 that he was different. He had a very advanced vocabulary, but his speech was difficult to understand. He could spend hours with tools or machines, but couldn't sit still for story time. As a family, maybe we were more accepting of this- my dad loves tools, my grandfather was a shop teacher, my husband is a computer geek, so my son fit right in.
We held off on the medication as long as possible. For kindergarten, 1st, and 2nd grade the only way my son could function at school was to have a full-time aide. He tested as gifted but couldn't be accepted into the program because of his behavior. He started to fall behind in math. He went to speech, OT, and counseling but many days were wasted because he wasn't able to focus. Some allergy medicines seemed to help slightly. We also tried a gluten-free diet. I could have asked the pediatrician for medication without doing a lot of testing. Instead we chose to wait as long as possible because my son was already far behind on the growth curve.

The final straw was in 2nd grade when my son was spending days in the office. He was acting like an animal in a cage. He tried to run away, hid in a corner, knocked over chairs, licked the wall, tore paper to shreds, and talked about ghosts haunting the school. They wouldn't let him eat lunch because he couldn't finish writing a page-long apology.
After that, we had him tested by a pediatric neurologist and he started taking the ADHD meds(and a fish oil vitamin). It made a big difference at school- getting sent to the office once every couple of weeks instead of every day. The side effects are as bad as we thought. We skip weekends and vacations. With the Concerta, he had no appetite, stomach aches, and couldn't fall asleep. It also didn't fix anger, outbursts, or concentrating attention on the wrong thing(like legos instead of homework).
I worried that the school would think he was "cured" by all their very hard work(picture schedules, sensory breaks, reward stickers, behavior strategies, etc.), when much of the improvement was from the medication. He's in 3rd grade now, and we've recently lowered the dosage because he had lost weight. The school is complaining that he is out of control again. I'm not sure what to try next. We're just trying to make it through til the end of the year, and he'll be OK without medication for the summer.

My daughter is now 18, will be 19 in August. During her pre-school years, she was very finicky about the way her clothes fit and felt...she would only wear certain type socks, panties, and clothes without pitching a fit with me. She screamed in her car seat in the dark, had to go home before dark or prepare ourselves. From the time she was being potty trained until she was 10+ years old when she said she had to go, she meant she had to go NOW..even if she had just went before leaving the house 7 miles down the road she had to go again, and she did everytime.
She refused to read and rarely did homework at home. I came to the conclusion that I would encourage my child to do her work, but I would not come to blows or damage our relationship over her ability or inability to perform task. It took at some point reading every other page with her once she was in high school to get her summer reading accomplished.
I say all this to share with you: We did not have money for doctors and pyscologist, so we went through the school system for testing. We also had a local ADHD clinic at that time (has since closed due to funding). I did go with the medication at first, my mom comforted me and said that if it was a broke arm you would put a cast on it...that helped somewhat. As my daughter got older actually in middle school, she went off the medication for a year, up to that point she only took it during the school year. She went back on it for the remainder of her 8th grade and until she was in the middle of 11th, at that time she decided she wanted to do without the medication it made her moody, her freinds made negative comments, and had other side effects that we now know were related...she has had stomach issues almost like siliac desease that we feel derived somewhat from the medication.
She graduated on time, had to take a portion of the graduation test a second time, but then passed. She never tested well, and she worked best in the structured environment of the school setting.
She had a lot of good teachers that worked with her (us) to help her accomplish what was needed. She is in her first year of college and is struggling, but has the desire to better herself and is doing pretty good with encouragment of others... her gpa isn't what it needs to be but she is holding her head above water and making decisions on her own to gain the direction of her goals. She also works part time in a day care.
My recommendation is to form an EIP (Early Intervention Program?) or IEP? Can't remember...but it is an agreement with the school to keep your child on task, it assigns a caseworker to your child to make sure he is making progress and they are required to keep you posted through phone, email, meetings whatever it takes to make sure your child stays on track. You will have to ask for this...it is a contract. This will also follow him to college if need be. My daughter requires extended time on test, and small group settings to alleviate distractions. She continues to have that option in her college courses. Would I go with the medication? Hind site is 20/20, not sure now that we are to this point...if money wasn't a factor I would possibly try to keep my child in counseling, I have read that is an alternative...but wasn't something we could afford now or at that time.
Good luck and I hope this helps in your decision - my prayers go with you! When I took my daughter to the doctor I wasn't seeking help for her but just as much for me...I needed medication to deal with her behavior...not that they gave me any.. Having an ADHD child is constant work and consistency is needed - I was never good at consistency. So, my prayer for you is that you will stay strong for you and for your child...and to encourage him to be all that he can be! Be his advocate for his BEST in life! Good luck and best wishes!
M.

Well I am not at the pull the trigger point with my five year old, but I am mentally prepared for it if it does happen. Let me ask what have you done to help with his behavior? Does he have an IEP? Does he have any special help in school with a professional to help him out through his overactive brain? That question is from my overactive brain to his. I have ADD and there are few things more frustrating than not being able to complete a thought in your own brain, because your six thoughts ahead when you come up to a solution for the first. You might think He has no attention span, maybe he just has more going on in there than most people. A one on one councelor really helped me develop some strategies to deal with my overactive mind. Do not think of ADHD as necessarily a bad thing... He could be curing cancer right now, you never know.
Also, I have heard really good things about eliminating artificial elements from your kids diet. Red # whatever yellow you get the idea. I have not been able to eliminate all preservatives, dyes, ect. From our house yet but have cut it all down significantly. I have seen a difference.
Good luck with everything! Remember your kid teachers recommendation I would hold the weight on. They deal with him in a social, learning, preparing you for life setting for 8 hours a day. They know what the're talking about. But try to find someone who teaches kids like your son strategies for dealing with his own racing thoughts. Try diet. Then try medication. It's not so bad.

I had my son evaluated by trained professionals at an ADHD clinic. Per their recommendation we did not put him on meds until it started interfering with school work and we had exhausted all other more natural remedies. Definitely check out the CHADD website. They also have a list of great books to read.

The other moms have given great advice. I just have to add how completely ticked off I am that someone would tell you that you are "too accepting" of your own son. That's your job. You're his mom. If you don't love him for who he is, who will? Second opinion please!

I have a daughter with a learning disability. My mom was the first to notice that she was a bit slow. But I refused to accept my mom's observation about MY child. What does she know, she only had 8 children and this was my first. I was determined to bring her up to the level she was supposed to be. So I purchased all kinds of kits, flash cards, and tapes. At first it was fun for her, but to be honest, she wasn't retaining the information. So for 6 years I frustrated the child trying to make her get it. At the end of the day we both would be in tears. Then I decided to give it up and except that she did have a learning disability that I couldn't fix.

Once I gave in to her disability and let them 'label' my child, all kinds of doors opened up to her. She never got past 2nd grade math and reads at a 6 grade level, but she is more mature than my normal girls. She is now 28 and is my right hand. She works part-time and her employers LOVE her. She is a dedicated and enthusiatic worker. She is so helpful. She makes the best spagetti and chili.

Anyway, my advice to you is to exhaust your options. Follow your guts. When you get to the point where you are in the way and your pride is what is between your son's progress and the school's ability to do their job, step aside. Some things you can't fix.

Your attitude seems to be much better than mine when I got the offical report from her Dr.

Best wishes to you and your little guy.

YOU have to find other treatment options that are out there, not many before going the medication route. You also need to have the school do an evaluation on him to see where they can HELP HIM in regards to his different needs in school. You will have to investigate all of the medication yourself (THEY LIE) at least in my experience and w have a 4yr old who is non medicated, works with an OT and speech therepist to help get him other ways to cope. We do everything we can to NOT treat him differently but when it comes to correcting behaivors you often have to get creative and think outside of the box and so do the teachers. So, now that you have this information you have a big mountain to climb to get the help you and your family need to move forward and have your son treated like a normal human being not "just another ADHD/ADD kid"

Hi G.,

My daughter was diagnosed with ADHD at seven. I didn't want to go the pharmaceutical route either so I started researching and asking questions much like you're doing. I won't bore you will all the ups and downs of my process but we did come to the conclusion that even though she had symptoms and tests came out positive that she did not have it.

ADHD is a neurological disorder. Other things can provoke the same symptoms by poisoning the neurologicals system. We detoxed our home and her extreme symptoms were gone within days. The rest subsided soom after. At her next doctors appointment her diagnosis was removed.

Synthetic chemical toxicity is an epidemic these days. We drown ourselves in every cleaning product, bath and body product, preservative, antibiotic...you get the picture.

Before you do medications get rid of everything synthetic in your home. Remove any residues that they have left behind. I detoxed my home and her little body in one fell swoop and the first time she thanked me I cried.

God bless...I'll pray you situation is a simple fix like mine! PM me if you'd like more information. I'd love to help.

M.

if theres only a 50% chance then i would get a second opinion because the meds can be harsh! i should know my 4 year old (YES 4) was diagnosed in Jan after getting kicked out of preschool. he had every sign! so in his case we only needed the one dr. but trust your gut if you dont think its right find another until you do!