Discussion on the "Label" of ADHD

I wasn't diagnosed until I was an adult. As a result, I formed a low opinion of myself and my abilities as a person. I thought I was just faulty and flawed. Finding out that the reason I made piles, the reason I couldn't focus, why I forgot everything, why I could never relax, finding out all of this was medical and NOT just being a lousy person was such a relief and gave me a direction to go in. I used the adderall xr for awhile and it pulled me in and made me very focused and I was able to delegate (I have five kids). If my mom would have realized that I could be helped rather than trying to tough it out, it would have made my self esteem a lot better! Just some thoughts from someone who wishes she could have been labeled a lot sooner so she could have learned to deal with it from the beginning!!

N. N,
Do Not get me started. I have a 12 year old son who was diagnosed at the age of 2 with ADHD. His case was one that was severe. By the age of four, he was in pre-school, and having some serious behavior issues ie; fire starting, injuring animals, out of control behaviors, tantrums, etc. He was in therapy, we had family therapy, and I had requested a social worker, so we could get services that we normally wouldn't get.
He was hospitalized many times before the age of seven, and on many drugs to help ease his behaviors. None of them worked for long, and we would be entirely exausted. We fianlly moved to the cities, where he was in a couple of schools. The last school in the cities was great. He had an EBD teacher that was so good. We moved after 3 years to another school, where they didn't follow his IEP. We moved back to Kimball, and he became more violent after a year. We had the police here at least once a week, if not more, and it was very trying for our family. He is now stable, and doing pretty good for the most part. Therapy is the biggest component. He has learned skills that he never had before.
The lable of ADHD can be most trying mostly for the child, and for the parents both. As a community people judge what they do not understand. They also look at the parents, to keep control. In a community that I had grown up in, and everyone knows me and my family, it is especially hard. When there is an incident, and you get it under control, you are ostersized from your neighbors, and community. Oh thats so and so. You need to watch out for him he is trouble. His parents must not be doing everything they possibly can. He will be in jail before you know it. My son hasn't made the right choices sometimes, but a lot of the time he gets picked on at school, kids are fishing to get him into trouble, etc. A lot of the kids in his class have done that in prior year, not so much now. The teachers inform me of any type of problems. The EBD teacher here in Kimball, is great. He also has some great teachers this year. The constant communication between us has been a great asset to helping my son. They do not label him as some of the other teachers have done in the past.
I also wanted to note that I believe there are kids that have the label of ADHD that really don't have the true signs. I also think that some of the teachers that my son has had in the past, just didn't want to deal with him, because of the label. It is easier to overexagerate
(sp)an issue, than to deal with yet another disruptive student. My case is a little different. We know he has mental health issues. After all these years of fighting for my son, and what he needs, he still is labeled my people in the community. He is my son, I love him dearly, and they can label all they want. My son knows he is on this earth for a reason. Maybe to teach me patients, maybe to teach others that just because he is a specail needs kid, doesn't mean he is a monster. I am not sure yet what the reason is that I was given him. I just know that I would never trade all the years of hell, not to have him in my life.

This is just my personal opinion.. Supposedly My brothers and I had ADD back in the early 90's... The family doctor asked me about 10 questions and they shoved me on ritalin. You can't just ask someone 10 questions and hand ritalin out to anyone. I have no idea if I was or am ADD.

I think it's over diagnosed some people don't want to take the responsibility as a parent and figure out what's really going on or explore other options they just throw pills in their kids face.They take the easy way out. There are some parents who have done exstensive research and testing and they're kids really do need the medication.

Kids are kids.... some are quiet and shy and some are rambunctious and wild doesn't mean anything is wrong with either one.

I think in general society is just getting lazy and everyone wants the easy way out. Look at the respect and behavior the kids growing up acted 40+ yrs. ago and then look some our kids out here today. They didn't have ADD or ADHD or ritalin back in those days.

Most kids these days are being raised by daycare center's and schools and who knows how much attention their parents have for them I think that could be the main problem.

I have noticed in my own life the more attention I have for my daughter and the more patience and time the happier and more well behaved she is.

Don't get me wrong there is nothing wrong with having a child that requires to be medicated I just feel that way to many kids have been misdiagnosed or parents who have taken the easy way out.

This is just my personal opinion I'm not trying to insult anyone!

I have an "ADHD" son. I have been to seminars supporting both medication and diet,organization etc.. I have found that my son responds well to a healthy diet and a structured schedule. He feels good when he knows what he needs to do "right now". One thing at a time. I have also heard that schools get money for every child that is diagnosed ADD/ADHD so I do believe A lot of high strung children may be mis-labeled. I have recieved criticism and praise for my choice of not using meds. I love my child's personality he is vibrant and happy. Medication COULD change that.I don't want to risk that unless I've exhausted all other alternatives.

Hi N.,
I have a sophomore in high school who was diagnosed in 2nd grade. The district we were in at the time made no recommendations to medicate - only made classroom accomodations for her. Her doctors supported that decision. My daughter doesn't have the hyperactivity component so she wasn't a disruption but she would "fall between the cracks" without a diagnosis because her own mind was more interesting to her than the curriculum :). We moved into a different district and they insisted she be medicated. While that didn't sit well with me, after time I came to realize that the medication - as a PART of the overall plan - was only helping her. My daughter is now "in charge" of her own disability. She makes her Dr. appts., meets with the counseler to discuss the 504 plan, takes her meds (her decision now). I go along as a support person. We will probably choose a university that has advisors for kids with disabilities so that she can continue toward her complete independance. I'm very proud of her. She sees the world COMPLETELY different than I do through her spectrum of ADD but there are days that I wish I could be so free spirited.

ADHD/ADD is a diagnosis for the parent. At that time, you must realize that you are going to have to learn to parent differently - just as you would if your child was diagnosed with diabetes (etc.) I have another child with a physical disability and we would never just lay him on the floor and expect him to keep up with his peers without the help of his walker, therapies, accomodations etc. etc. ADHD/ADD is in that same catagory. While every child is different as to what strategies work best, each should be supported by physicians and educational professionals in a multi-faceted approach to the disability. Learn as many strategies as you can and then figure out which one or two of them works best with for your individual child. There will be no shortage of opinions but you have to decide what works best for YOUR family and make no excuses. People talked to me about diet but, after looking into it, I knew that I, personally, would not be able to follow through with it so we didn't do it. Doesn't make me a bad parent - just one who knows her limitations.

Medication is only "lazy" if it is the only change being made. There are home and classroom accomodations and strategies that the kids can learn and eventually take more responsibility for. If you just give a pill and expect it all to go away, you are setting yourself - and your child- up for disaster. Consider it arming your child for success. Think about it within the analogy of diet and exercise. What a silly person who exercises to exhaustion and then goes and eats an entire pizza. Either there will be no results OR the results will be lessened. When you give the medication - if that is what the team (Dr./Teacher/Child/Parents) decideds - the childs mind is in a better position to learn the strategies that they need to navigate the world.

We have an 8 y/o son that has ADHD and is medicated. There is a world of difference when he has his meds and when he does not. His teacher has a sheet she fills out daily to record how his day went and on the few days that I have forgot his morning meds it has always comes back very negatively. We had him evaluated at the end of Kindergarten and he started meds in 1st grade. I really believe his learning was much impaired in Kindergarten because he couldn't focus. In 1st grade he was able to catch up a bit and it's going much better.

The school is very understanding and we were able to get him an IEP to provide accomodations such as having an aide help him organize his homework/bag at the end of school, let him take tests in a seperate area without distractions, allow him to stand up and have an area he can move around in when he needs to, sit at the front of the room near the teacher etc.

There have been mixed feelings from friends and family. I have a brother that absolutely does NOT believe in ADHD or the need for medications. We just choose not to discuss the issues we deal with around him. My sister has a 4 y/o with ADHD and understands-we bounce ideas and just generally vent to each other when we need to. We have friends and other family members that just think "boys will be boys" and think ADHD is diagnosed way too much. I usually tell them that it may be true but when it's affecting my child's ability to learn I am going to do something about it. Our other son (age 9) was also evaluated because he is super hyper and impulsive, too. The doctor thought there was a good chance he also has ADHD HOWEVER he can and does retain information and does not have the impairment our other son has in school so we've chosen to not do medications at this point.

I think you have to do what you have to do for your kids. Generally I only share the ADHD diagnosis with those we are close to because of the stigma. Sure there are probably a lot of kids diagnosed with it that maybe really don't have it.

We also make sure we keep as much structure for the kids as possible. And, we follow the "Nurtured Heart Approach" which helps a lot, too. For more info. about that you can go to www.difficultchild.com

I was just discussing this with someone. First, when we were children, how many kids did you know that were ADD or ADHD?? And how many do your children know?? I'll bet there is a pretty big difference.

I have an adopted brother who was diagnosed with ADHD many years ago. I do believe he truly has ADHD. He was also born addicted to crack and 3 months premature. In his case, meds are the only thing that can help him because his condition is severe.

I also believe that people are too quick to believe that diagnosis. We are a society that believes in a quick fix. Also, the quality of food we ate when we were children is a lot different than now. I really believe all the processed food and injected meat kids eat nowadays are a lot of the problem. When a person is on steroids, they have ADD tendencies and most meat at grocery stores are injected with steroids.

I have a friend whose son was diagnosed with ADD and prescribed with Ritalin. She didn't feel that would help him. With some natural, alternative methods, she was able to modify his behavior so much that the teachers thought he was on the meds.

Personally, I believe that parents should exhaust other methods, such as changing the diets and better vitamins, first. Meds should be a last resort. The body was meant to heal itself as much as possible and will if in the correct condition.

Again, these are my opinions. I also feel all parents should do what they think is best for their child and not listen to everyone.

N.,

What a great discussion to bring up. It's so interesting to read about people's different reactions to the diagnosis. It's so frustrating to me that any child or adult would have to face a possible stigma with a medical diagnosis. I use to teach Special Education and 6th grade in Minneapolis and I saw a wide range of reactions from kids. One little girl I had started the school year off by introducing herself to the kids and announcing what medication she was on. Then she would ask what medication they were on (this was in the special ed. room). Most kids slinked off to the health office to get their meds., not wanting to draw attention to themselves. The kids that did the best were the kids that were well educated about the condition and what they were taking and why. They would explain it to those who asked as if they were being asked where they got those cool shoes. Within a month, other kids would be reminding them, "Hey Ben, (I never had a student named Ben) don't forget your meds." Or "It's 11:30" or whatever.

The other story I wanted to share was that my husband's cousin was diagnosed as an adult. All through high school, she couldn't figure out shy she couldn't get good grades like her sister. She knew she was smart, but she couldn't concentrate and would fall asleep reading. She had weird dreams that seemed real; almost delusional. Finally, she went to a sleep clinic. After a lot of testing, she was diagnosed ADD, put on ritilin, and, long story short, has graduated with a nursing degree and is working towards become a nurse anesthetist with spectacular grades.

Anyway, I just thought I'd share for sake of conversation. It's such a personal and touchy subject. I wish it didn't have to be. I think that would make it a lot easier for those who TRULY do have ADD or ADHD.

I'm new to this sight, so I'll just jump right in. My 13 year old son was diagnosised with ADHD when he was 5-6 years old, At some point between kindergarten and 1st grade. His teachers and pedatrician and us his parents filled out a questioner and they came back and said he had ADHD. I work in the healthcare profession, so I asked for a child pysc. or behavioral annalisis to be done. We saw the child psych. and he advised me that my son had classic borderline ADHD, and that medication for academic reasons only is what he advised. This was so my son didn't fall behind (slip through the cracks of the system). The first med we tried was of course the most highly perscribed one for this, Ritilan. I can personally say this was a horrible experience and will never advocate the use of that drug. We then went to what was a new med on the market at the time Aderal. This drug worked wonders, come to find out my son was highly intellegent and just needed something to help him keep focused on academics. He only took the medication during school hours and never when he didn't go to school. I was a mother who didn't believe in medicating my child just so I could handle him. At this time my son manages his own meds, he takes it if he thinks he needs it and doesn't if he dont't feel he needs it. I would diffenetly ask for a child psych. to do a behavioral annalysis, from what I have seen this appears to be a pretty good judge on the ADHD diagnosis. My son see's his Psych. Doctor once a year and they discuss his needs and what he needs to do to support himself with this condition. My son is a straight A student and well adjusted, the only issue that I stil see today is him not being socially at the same level as his peers. Which they tell me is normal for a 13 year old boy. Hope I helped some.

Does anyone else find it interesting that ADD and ADHD has had some many posts in the days since the kids all went back to school? Maybe classroom environments aren't set up for learning the way these kids need to and that's part of the problem.

i have a daughter 9 almost 10. i started to take her in to the doctor when she started school. at frist i knew nothing bout what add adhd odd was.. bout in 2nd grade me teachers principel and doctors finally figured that my daughter had odd. my daughter doctor wanted me to do pills i wanted more resource on odd as i didnt know what it was. i went home and looked it up on the net read bout it and decided to go back to the doctor and put my daughter on them. the doctor put her on zyprexa. bout a week later i could tell and everyone else could tell she changed in a big way.. she was in control and she loved life again. i have her off her meds and shes now doing great. we are going on 4 months with no meds. i was yelled at and hated for putting my daughter on these meds that i thot and everyone else thot made her better. i actully lost people in my family and friends. but i had to make my choice. i just hate when people say that meds are overrated or adhd add odd is overrated. no one knows instill they have to deal with it themself. i love my daughter to peices and would do anything for her. down the road if she gets out of control she can make the choice weither or not she wants the meds. we have quit time when she gets home and homework is done. i have her on somewhat of a schudule which i think helped. shes doing much better at school so far this year which makes me and her pround. you can only take one step at a time and that what me and my daughter are doing. see where it takes you and then decide. if meds aint the answer somefin is. and if meds help i say go for it. if it doesnt help you can always stop them. i have dealt with my daughter being out of control for years. and the last two years as been wonderfull. we have peace in our lifes. i say good luck to all the moms out there that have children with disorders and give them my hugs. any questions bout this just message me i will answer them the best i can. thanks for taking the time and reading what i have to say..

hi N.:
my 12 year old is also adhd was diagnosed a few years back.they started him on ritalin but that didnt do nothing for him,then they switched him to adderall which is doing great!! when he doesnt get his meds he is bouncing off the walls,screaming and just really loud!! i have family members who think i am wrong by getting him on meds,but they are the first ones to complain when he acts out.the dr. he was going to lost his license for giving a guy pills and he overdosed,so i called and got him in at childrens hospital,they diagnosed him the right way they also did blood work on him to see if the other meds screwed up his liver but thank god they didnt!! his dr. now is very pateint with him then she found out he is also language delay. he just started middle school this year so far been going ok havent had any phone calls yet!! crossing fingers i dont either,my only problem now is how come he isnt bringing any homework home but they say hes been doing it at school hopefully thats the case,i know last year in grade school he had alot of homework every nite now in middle school nothing. does it make any sense? well thank you for letting me tell you about my son. they also have him on zoloft in the afternoons because when he goes to bed at 9 pm he just lays there unntill midnight and he isnt getting the rest he is suppose to be getting. the problem i have with him is getting him to take his pill in the morning i mix it with applesauce and he holds it in his mouth forever,same with the zoloft anyone have any suggestions? also tried bribing him with money to just swallow it didnt work. even his dr cant figure out wy he would want to hold it in his mouth when it taste so nasty.