Second Child - Roxbury,CT

Updated on May 06, 2009
M.Q. asks from Roxbury, CT
4 answers

I am starting to have fears about having another child. I am 20 weeks and went today for my ultrasound. I have a feeling in my gut this is a boy and i think everyone in the family is hoping for a boy. The tech could not confirm whether or not it was a boy or girl but when i went at 14 weeks the tech said she thought it was a boy and now they can't tell b/c the baby was not cooperating. I am so scared what if it is another girl will i love her the same as my other daughter or will it be different. If it is a boy then i think it would be different b/c my daughter would be the girl and he would our little boy. I know my fear sounds absurd but i need to know if anyone else had these worries and how they worked out for them.

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R.H.

answers from New York on

Hi M.,
The love will be different for each child but the same, but no different if the baby is to be a boy or a girl. You wouldn't know it any other way. It is what God intended your family to be. I felt the same way before I had my second and that was after 11 yrs. I am now pregnant with my third due in July. I am currently 28 wks. I am having my first little boy, but didn't care even if he was another little girl as I have enjoyed raising my daughters and wouldn't know it any other way. Congratulations and hope this helps ease your fears. I think every parent goes through this.

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K.B.

answers from New York on

You're fears are quite natural. Many women, including myself, fear that they do not have enough love within for a second child. I would bet that as soon as you see you're child, that your fears will subside. This tiny person is it's own self and you will have enough love in heart for him/her. A mom's heart is very very big!

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Y.K.

answers from New York on

i felt similar when i was pregnant with my second, believe me- you will love your baby no matter boy or girl, i have two girls , love my baby daughter so much, i cant believe i lived my life w/o her. i love them both equaly, but i became a bit more demending towards my older one and treat her more like a little adult. when i first saw my baby girl (now 10mns) i fell in love instantly!!
enjoy some peace before you second one arrives , good luck!

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A.B.

answers from New York on

I have the same fear as you. I am 31 weeks with my second. But I know A LOT of women with two kids and even though I can't fathom loving another like I do my baby girl (almost 2), they all tell me I will. They do all love their second babies so much. I can't tell you yet what it feels like. But i do know that I already don't feel the same about the pregnancy as I did with my first. But People assure me that once he is born, I will love him as deeply as I can love anyone.....

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