Disappointment with Having a Boy

I felt exactly the same way when I found out I was having a boy. My son is now 2 1/2. Believe me, you have no choice but to get over it, lol. I was convinced I"d have a girl. When they notified me on my ultrasound that it was a boy, it took me (more than) a few days to accept it. I was disappointed as well. I"m not that big on sports or other "boy" things so that's what the biggest adjustment was and still is. I can't hang out and paint his nails, you know? However, I have no problems letting dad take over as role model and being outnumbered by men in the house. My son will be an only child by choice, so don't worry, there's a lot to be thankful for.

M. T.

When I was pregnant with my second child I found out I was having a girl and I was really upset because I wanted another boy. As soon as the doctor handed her to me it didn't matter. You'll be totally in love just the same. Just wait and see...

I really wish you the best. I have two boys and a girl, but believe me every child is so unique that each time I had them, you just don't imagine having any other person to be your child but them. They were born to us to teach us lessons, and this is your first.. acceptance that although they are our children, we are to love whatever comes with them.. now being this your challenge at this point.. you will see that once you see the beauty of having a boy, you will see that you cannot compare the girls with boys, but they both give you that spark of love in your life you would have never imagined.

With boys there is so much to look forward to..
For example, my sons are both different. My first boy was very easy going, and very much into buidling blocks, and painting, etc. While my second boy is very much into cars, and skateboarding, etc. They are both very different, but boys are quite unique in that they will always look for mom... and my daughter is a daddy's girl.
I love my kids, and I wouldn't change them for the world.

I think it's normal to feel a little upset, and if you are more upset than usual, and you just cannot get over it..
Think of this... Baby isn't born yet, so there is a possibility that it will be a girl.. so, just be happy that you are carrying that child, and feel happy because no matter what, baby is feeling how much baby is loved.

Don't think of what it will be, just think of how it will be to hold your baby... to see baby's face for the first time... to touch those little fingers and feet.. and to konw that you will be a mother, one of God's greated gift to us.. To be able to give life to this world. You are one more special person in this world, you are now a mother.. and I do think we need to feel proud of that.

I do wish you the best! And remember, because you wanted a girl is not a bad thing... I wanted a girl because my daughter wanted a girl, and my boy wanted a boy... but I thought because she was going to be close in age with this child that it would work out good.. But anyhow, my last child is a boy...
And I also didn't agree with his name... don't know why, I just didn't like it... but once he was born..
wow, I said to myself, this child could not have had a better name... He is the light of this house, and you know what he plays well with both of the kids... my kids are about 3yrs apart, so they all get along well.
The littleest one plays with the girl eveyrhting with his sister plays, and also with his brother...
So I really think it's up to us mothers, to love and nurture these children that the lord has choosen for us to give life to.

And although I wanted a girl at one point... I couldn't ever imagine having a girl instead of him.. Plus I really think that he will be such sweetheart with girls.. he is very loving and caring.

So anyhow, long story short... You will see that the most important thing when they are born is that you hear them cry so that you know they are alright, and that you hold them and see their face for the first time...
and the rest is just extra...
Wheather it's a girl or a boy... this child will fill your heart with so much love, you just will wonder how much one can love...

I wish you the best with the rest of the pregnancy, and feel blessed that you are having a child, and try not to think of what you are having.. after all sonograms sometimes fail... I had friends, and friends of friends that bought everything for the sex of the baby they thought they were having and bought nothing neutral.. so anyhow.. It turned out they had a boy instead of a girl, or a girl instead of a boy, etc. So, don't worry so much.

I suggest you don't buy too many things now that you are feeling this way... wait for the right moment to go shopping. When we buy things with love, it counts, so make sure all you do for the life you are holding is with love.

God bless you,

C.

B., I dont know you ofcourse, but it sounds to me like something else is going on with you. You really should start taking a high quality fish oil such as Carlson's or Nordic Naturals to balance your hormones. You will probably become pleasantly surprised that you are not sad about your baby boy. Granted, you might have wanted a girl-it happens to the best of us-but to become obsessed with it signifies something brewing underneath. Please talke to a trusted friend or therapist and find out what is really going on with you so that you can be mentally prepared to love your baby when he arrives in this world. Good luck!

Hi,
First of all congrats.! I wanted a boy for my first, and was upset when i found out i was having a girl. But as soon as i found out, i adjusted my thinking.I had alot of friends who couldn't have kids or were miscarrying. So just the fact of having a child is a blessing. And believe me.... you will fall deeply in love than you could ever imagine as soon as you see your babys face.
And now i couldn't imagine having a boy, infact i want just girls now !
I hope you feel better about it. And just remember, having a child is amazing. No matter what the sex. Good luck with everything.
N.

I always wanted a little girl and long before I was pregnant I was buying pink things for her. I choose not to find out what sex I was having (15 years ago), but secretly wondered how I would handle the disappointment if I was to have a boy. It only took a few seconds to fall in love with my first baby, a little boy. Trust me you will so be in love with him that any fears you had about bonding will disappear. God did give me my little girl next and then another son, but I would never trade the special time I had with my first baby. When I got pregnant the second time I feared I could never love another child as much as I did my little boy...another silly thought. Some of your present melancoly is probably just those pregnancy hormones getting the best of you. Don't sweat it, baby blue is beautiful. God Bless, A.

B.-

I have two sons and I love them more than anything in the world (the older one is 2 years 10 months old and my younder son is nine months old). My house is filled with toy cars, animals, trucks etc and nothing makes me happier. I should tell you that I am a VERY girlie girl--(when I was single, my apartment was pink and floral with white wicker furniture, I love clothes, getting my nails done etc....). The ONLY thing that matters is that the baby is healthy. Once the baby is born the only thing you will think is that you love him more than anything else in the world. Best of luck!

When I found out my 3rd child was going to be yet another boy, I too was a little sad, especially since I knew he was going to be my last child. However, I wouldn't trade my beautiful little boy for a girl. There are times, though, that I still feel a bit of loss for the little girl I'll never have. My suggestion, get yourself really involved with getting things ready for your new addition. Have fun planning and decorating the most boyish room you can for your little man. And remember, no one loves a mommy like a son does! Good luck!

Hi B.. God gives us what we can handle and he is sending you a boy for a reason. Girls, boys..honestly what does it matter? Be thankful you are having a healthy child. Go look at the website for St. Jude's Childrens hospital. Go ask those parents how dissapointed they are. I have two healthy, happy, smart, energetic, loving, funny, caring, adorable and wonderful boys. I wouldn't trade them for ANY girl on this planet. Life is way too short. Enjoy your pregnancy. Be thankful you can get pregnant and carry a child. Enjoy your son when he is born. I guarantee the second you see his beautiful face you'll have no memory of your life before that moment. He's depending on you. Boys are so much fun. You have no idea the joy you are in for! Good Luck and God Bless.

Oh, B., CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR GIFT!!! I AM SOOOOO HAPPY AND THRILLED FOR YOU!!! I have three boys and I wouldn't trade them in for anything, not trillion, billion, million of dollars!! To tell you the truth....many, many people tell me that boys are easier to raise and take care than girls. Also, know that if you're uptight, upset throughout your pregnancy, it can affect him emotionally, mentally and so forth. Also think of it this way....did you get pregnant to have a girl, or did you get preganant to bring a child into the world? Have an ultrasound and more likely it'll change your mind thinking the amazing development this baby that God gave you will be going through each week and hearing your voice and loving the sound of your husband's familiar voice too. This baby feels safe and secure in you. Also, know that God gave you this baby and trusted this baby in your care trusting that you will care, love and treat him with such love. That is a HUGE responsibility for all parents. Think of it this way, God says "I am entrusting you, B. and your husband with this precious, delicate gift and please take care of this boy and raise him the way I have called you to do". He trusts you to care for this precious life and know that he is one of the best, best gift!! (Besides God's salvation which is the number 1 gift of all!!) Let me know what happens and all the ultrasounds you'll have in the near future!!

If you just found out, give it a little while. If your heart was set on a girl, then of course you will feel a little disappointment. Let the idea of a fun little boy running around set in. Soon you will see that having a boy is just as nice as a girl. Once you register and the day becomes closer, you will be just so excited to meet him. And if none of that works just remember... Girls hate their mothers for about 10 years, boys always have the great soft spot in their hearts for their mamas! And boys are so much easier than girls. Also if you are planning on having more children, isn't it nice to know that your other children will have a protective older brother.

Dear B. - my first child was a daughter. I have an older sister who had two girls, then I had a girl; all girls in our family. I didn't know what I'd do if I had a boy. Well, my second was a boy. He is now 21. He is the love of my life. You will LOVE your boy. They give such joy. I am just as close with my son as my daughter. When your baby boy is born, you will fall in love immediately and it won't matter and he will bring you such joy. They grow up fast so just enjoy him when he gets here.

TM

Our first child was a girl so when we found out we were pregnant again of course we wanted a boy. When we found out it was another girl we were disappointed but for only about 2 seconds. It make me a little sick to my stomach that you are this upset about the sex of your baby. A baby should be loved no matter what sex, color, size, disability, what ever. Babies don't ask to be brought into this world, we are the ones that decide to "make" them. That little boy is going to love you unconditionally, he doesn't care what sex you are. He wont care if you're fat or thin, pretty or ugly, if you smell bad, if your hair and makeup are done. He loves you, you are his Mommy. Babies and small children are the greattest lovers you will ever have. You haven't known true love until you've felt the love of your own child. It's like Christmas morning every day when you get out of bed to go into their room and pick them up out of the crib. I know with 100% certainty that once you hold him and smell him and kiss his little face you won't care if he's a boy or a girl. Try breast feeding if you can also, it is a great way to connect with your baby. And don't worry, they make really cute little boy clothes if you were at all disappointed about not being able to play dress up.

C.

I wanted a girl too! but my little boy is actually much sweeter than my little girl. He is an absolute doll baby, Little boys love their momma's too. you just wait til you hold him in your arms. All your preconceived notions with go out the window.!! good luck W. P www.ambitenergy4homes.com

I'm sorry, I have a difficult time with moms who wish for one sex over the other. There are so many women that cannot have children or have children born with disabilities or other issues. Children are a blessing no matter what sex and more importantly your baby is healthy, there are so many unexpected things that can go wrong during pregnancy and delivery that you cannot control. My third daughter was born with a knot in her cord, she is the 1% that survived, she was supposed to be a stillborn, my husband could care less that he didn't get his son after having two girls, we were just so thankful to have her and have her be healthy. I do wish you the best and hope you embrace the fact you are having a son.

Hi B.,
I agree that trying to adjust your thinking is the way to go. You can't change it. Being upset about it won't change the outcome, so the sooner you get use to the idea, the better off you'll feel. I have one child (probably my only) and it's a boy. I always wanted a boy and I'm actually hesitant about having another baby for fear it will be a girl. Please know that while you won't be having princess parties, little boys are so wonderful!!! And everyone that responded to you saying you'll forget about it the instant he's born is right! The minute you hold him he will be your world. I always knew I'd love my child (everyone tells you about "that" feeling), but you really don't know until it happens and your a mom. Congratulations and a healthy happy baby to you and your husband.

Boys are amazing! I have a girl and a boy and both have wonderful things to look forward to.
My son is so funny, smiley, and the best part, a momma's boy - he is so snuggly and loving with me - he will be 2 next month and these have been the best 2 years of my life.
You cannot dicount your feelings... they are yours and you own them, but I hope they pass soon and you realize how lucky you are to have a precious MALE life growing inside you... you get the privilege of turning this little baby boy into a wonderful loving man.... you will get there, give yourself some time.

I was upset that I was having a boy first when I was pregnant. Even though the ultrasound said boy I was still convinced it was a girl until he was born. I even dreamed it was a girl. But once he was here it was wonderful. He truly is just a great kid and I would never trade him for anything in this world. Once he's here he will just amaze you. He will wiggle his way into your heart trust that. And you won't even remember what life was like without him. I now have a baby girl and I'm so excited that she has a big brother to protect her as they grow up together. He's going to be the one who beats up all those boys who break her heart.

B.,

Congrats! How wonderful to be having your first baby! I had my first at 41 and I had so much fun being preggers and my son, Duncan, brings me joy to bursting!

Until that 20 week sono, we all speculated what he may be. Hubby thought boy and I thought girl - wishful thiking on both our parts. I had dreams of sharing all my interests with my little girl - sewing, gardening, music, reading, etc. When the sono tech said he was a boy, I said, "Are you SURE?!" She said, that yes, she was sure as she has been doing this for 15 years and she definitely saw "boy parts." In that moment I saw myself sitting home alone while my husband took my son fishing, hunting, to the park to play catch, or sitting bored at sporting events and monster truck rallys. Then, on the way home, I felt him move inside me for the first time and just cried with complete joy that my little man was happy, healthy and was reminding me of the goal - to add a child to our lives. Now, Duncan (14 months) is Mama's boy - don't tell your husband but boys are really for the mamas. Yes, Duncan loves his Poppy and lights up when he comes home from work and engages him in play with those monster trucks, complete with engine sounds, but he still wants his mama when it is cuddle time, he wants to share something special that he's found, and covers me with open-mouthed drool-y kisses when he wakes in the morning.

My words of advice would be try not to let this disappointment cloud your enjoyment of your first pregnancy. It is a magical time for you and your husband and you might regret not having let go and allowed yourself to feel the pure bliss of this special time. You can't go back and do it over.

Good luck and I know you will enjoy your little boy as much as you would if he were a girl - just in a different way and you won't be able to imagine how you could have wanted him to be anything but the delightful child he is.

S.

You should be so thankful that you were able to conceive and that you are healthy and pray that you little angel enters into the world healthy with 10 little fingers and 10 little toes.

Hi B.,

Congratulations on your pregnancy. I think every girl wants a girl but I am a girlie girl too and to tell u the truth it doesn't matter what the sex is. My first pregnancy sadly ended at 8 months pregnant and I was having a girl I thought I never would get pregnant for a while 4 months later i was pregnant again and when I found out the sex it was a boy!!! I was shocked at first but thought to myself I got a second chance to have a beautiful happy healthy child and he is the most lovable beautiful boy in the world. He is 3 now. Be happy that you will have the best gift in the world. You will love him just the same as a girl. Best of luck to you. C.

I know that you feel this way but like people are saying as soon as you see that little face you will fall in love. We wanted to find out but our baby was too active. My husband really wanted a boy and during my pregnancy I was wondering what would happen if it is a girl. During my c-section he kept watching and as soon as she was born I saw the look on his face of disappointment. But during the hospital stay HE was the one that would jump up and get her when she cried. I talked to him about it and he said that he was just happy that she was healthy and had 10 fingers and 10 toes. Now he goes around saying she is "Daddy's Little Girl" You will get over it as soon as you hold him. Life is full of disappointments and you can always try again. But don't get all worked up about it. It's not good for the baby for you to be depressed. Don't lie to people. When they ask tell them that you really wanted a girl but as long as he is healthy. Count your blessing and baby whether it's a boy or a girl will make a wonderful addition to your family.

Dear B.:

I have to tell you my first child is a girl and I was so excited. Then when I was pregnant with my 2nd and found it was a boy, I was a little disappointed at first. Wanting my daughter to have a little sis. But my son, I can't even believe now I wanted another girl. My son and I am sure you will find too, are the most loving, cuddling, caring. My daughter was not mushy like my son is. I have to say, I wouldn't change him for the world. He is my everything. I love to snuggle and eat him up everyday. Boys love their mommies. Girls are little miss independents. I love her to pieces, but my son. I am proud to say I have a son now.

I went through it...When I found out, and I totally hate to say it, I was disappointed...I am a girly girl, I kept thinking about sports - ugh...boy clothes...ugh, blue, grey and black...insects and snakes - ugh...But I swear to you - you will love that little guy more than all stars in the sky.

Joey means more to me than anything in the world...I love my 2 girls desparately - but there is total truth in "Mommy's little boy"...I promise you - you keep my email and write back when he's here...you're in for an AMAZING experience!

You will not be disappointed...he's a blessing...I'm so happy for all my friends who have girls, then get their baby boy...they're so much fun - and cuddly...all good things wrapped right up in a blue package!

Best wishes to you!!!
J.

I agree with wht everyone is saying, I have 3 boys and I wouldn't trade them for the world. I get so many "I love You's" from my boys. They are my night and day. My sun and moon, My every waking thought. And it doesn't matter how old they get I still tuck them in at night. I can't imagine my life without any one of them. My oldest was 19 and my youngest is 9. I lost my oldest a year and a half ago so please don't let this child your carrying feel that he is not wanted because you wanted a girl. Cherish every moment you have with them. They truly are God's greatest gift to us. God Bless You.

Oh B.. I know EXACTLY what you are going through. Finding out I was having a boy was THE hardest thing I ever had to go through. Sounds sily right? Well, it's true.

I dreamed about my baby girl my entire life. When I became pregnant, as silly as it sounds, it never even occured to me that I could have a boy. I was having a girl and her name was Chatham.

The ultrasound tech said boy and I began sobbing. I was crying so hard it made it difficult for her to finish the exam. Leaving, people in the waiting room stared at us like we must have just gotten bad news. I cried and screamed for weeks. I was angry at god. I couldn't even touch or look at my belly. I didn't like ittle boys! The clothes, the toys, the noise, little boys weren't cute!

I had to mourn my baby girl. It felt like I had lost a baby. And in a way I did. I had dreamed up this child and imagined every last detail...and I had to let that go.

There is no other advice I can give you than to go ahead and be sad and mourn your baby girl. Time will pass and you will become OK with having a son.

Skip ahead to now...my little son is perfect and healthy and so beautiful and perfect and charming that I feel ashamed of how I felt. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine love like this. I look at him and melt. He is a gift and I now I honestly couldn't care less if I have 4 more boys.

Give yourself time.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

Boys are absolutely delicious. He will be the sunshine of your life every day. He will cuddle with you and you will never regret having a boy.

Hi Brooke,

I also was disappointed when I found out I was having a boy. I am an older mom and it's likely that my now 5 month old son will be my only child. I pictured myself playing with dollhouses and dressup clothes with a daughter. And wasn't sure how to be a mother to a boy.

But my son arrived and he is so perfect and wonderful that I don't even remember wanting a daughter. When your baby is born, it may take you minutes or it may take you months to fall in love with him, but you will. Now I can't imagine my life without this little boy in it.

And my husband bought me a dollhouse anyway. It's not for the baby. It's for me.

You'll feel better when he arrives. Don't beat yourself up now.

B., so many people go through that! I have 2 older stepchildren - a girl I adore and a boy I totally can't relate to so when I got pregnant I desperately wanted a girl -plus I thought girls were so much cuter - and I had a moment's disappointment when I gave birth to a boy but it lasted like one second - he was so beautiful and I loved saying "hello little boy" and he has always been the absolute most wonderful adorable little thing - no girl could be cuter - and i just love his innate masculinity! from the time he could walk he was zooming toy cars along the wall - he still rolls around the floor playing his cars. Boys are great - seriously - after you have him you will wonder how you ever wanted a girl! The feeling of love and protectiveness is so natural - just wait - I wish I had it all to go through again!

I know how you feel and I have given this advice before...I remember when my girlfriend got pregnant, I was so excited for her, we were both jumping for joy, our husbands were thrilled(they are best friends since h.s.), deep down inside I was thrilled because I knew she'd ask me to be the godmom. We planned the nursery and all the baby stuff and not one minute did we ever mention the color blue. We referred to the baby as "her", "she"....we were so sure it was going to be a girl. The day of her sonogram, she called me and in the most sad voice she said...."it's a boy". We had about a good solid minute of silence and I couldn't, nor she, explain what that was. The baby was healthy, all was good, but there was that moment of "what the??". We certainly had to get used to the idea of blue and not pink. The months went by and by the time my godson was born, we loved the thought of blue and any disappointment that we felt was long gone. Your feelings will pass when you lay your eyes on that beautiful baby boy, you'll see. And once he arrives, you'll wonder what the heck life was without him. Boys are alot easier and they will always be the apples of momma's eye. They will always be yours. Little girls belong to their daddies and would end up fighting with you anyway(wink). I talk from experience as I have 2 girls and a boy. Don't fret, chin up, shoulders back and think blue!!! Good luck to you!

I have 5 boys, and would not change it! Although I really wanted my first 2 to be boys, by the third I just "thought" I would get a girl. Well when the little red-haired boy came out, I was so excited that it wasn't a girl. Then when we had #4, again I "thought" I would have a girl. I mean, come on, it "has to be a girl" this time?! Nope. But he is the most wonderful little son. He does keep me busy though. He has to do everything himself. He potty trained early, talked before 18 months, gets himself dressed, pours himself his cereal and anything else that he needs. Now with #5 I "tried various things" to put the favor of having a girl. Nope. But after feeling so disappointed with finding out #4 was a boy, I just realized that God knows whats best for our family. He has listened to many of my prayers, including getting pregnant! I of course get many, many comments about "still trying for that girl huh?" And maybe I would like a girl, but I answer them back with-"No, twins!" Besides, I cannot imagine 5 girls all going through their monthly friend at the same time! I guess the only advice I can give is..Your feeling is not silly and should not be dismissed. We all get disappointed, but that you need to accept it. And it might not happen until after the baby is born. Hopefully shopping for little boy things will change your mind sooner than later. And breastfeed that little guy! It will give you such satisfaction staring into those beautiful eyes and daydreaming about your husband and him fishing, playing sports or fixing cars together. Besides you have no control over the sex of the baby, but you do over how you raise him! :)

Dear B.,

You've gotten lots of great responses here; I just wanted to add something no one else has posted -- boys and girls come in all kinds of shapes, sizes, and types. Sure there are some macho boys and princess girls, but there are also lots of tomboy girls and sweet, sensitive boys. Just because the ultrasound tech saw "boy parts" doesn't mean she saw your son's true nature.

My son is 21 months old, and until very recently he had totally gender-neutral interests -- animals. He couldn't have cared less about trucks or sports or fireman or anything; he just wanted to play with our cats, visit our neighbors' dogs, and look at books about sheep and ducks. For Halloween, we dressed him as a veterinarian -- we put him in a little white coat and but band-aids on his teddy bear. Now that he's getting close to two, he is showing a big interest in motor vehicles (never thought I'd hear myself say "wow! a bus!), but I suspect there's still a little budding zoologist in there somewhere. And he's still a total neat freak (sees one book on the floor and says "meh, meh" [mess] and cleans it up all by himself). And he's still the sweetest, gentlest, most unaggressive little being in the world.

Anyway, sorry to go on at such length, but it might help to think that you've got a unique, specific human being in your tummy, not just a pile of gender stereotypes. Your son has about 100 trillion special things about him. You know one of them; big whoop. Finding out the rest will be an amazing adventure, I promise.

It's totally normal to feel that way. With my first I got my girl. I always knew I was having a girl with my first child though, even before I got pregnant! When we got pregnant this second time (I'm having the baby tomorrow!) we were hoping for another girl. My daughter is the only girl of her generation on both sides of my family. My husbands cousins and stuff all live out in Ohio and we'll probably never see them even though there are a bunch of girls out there. Besides the point, it was very disconcerting to me to find out I was having a boy and took me quite a while to get used to the idea. The morning of my scan my husband had said boy so when I told him later that day he was like "get outta here!!!" I know it seems like you'll forever feel like this but you won't. It will pass in time. I can't wait to meet my son now. We have our name picked out already. Ryan Christian Grunkemeyer. I know this sounds funny, but watch a bunch of A Baby Story on TLC. Once you have your baby shower and you pick a name it will start to become more real to you. And don't ever think that how your feeling will affect your baby. You have an insurmountable amount of crazy hormones running through your body right now. Who knows how your gonna feel most of the time! Good luck and congratulations!!!

I didn't find out the sex of my kids until they were born but I couldn't have been more surprised to have two boys. People who know me well always said they couldn't believe it either. I didn't know a thing about boys but now I know...they rock! They are straight forward , and sweet and so much fun!

hi there and congrats!!
I know i am responding late but I wanted to let you know my thoughts. I am 37 weeks and having a boy. In the beginning I of course wanted a girl and my hubby wanted a boy. All he kept talking about and predicting from the get go was we were having a boy, i was also getting this from people i worked with. It was making me so angry because i desperately wanted a girl that I wouldnt talk too much about the sex because of how I was feeling. Once I had my ultrasound and found out it was a boy and seeing him on that moniter, my heart melted and i fell in love with him. from that moment on, i've been so excited to have my little guy that I am at the point i just want him out to have in my arms.

I hope this helped, you are not alone!! Good luck and I hope things get better for you!

K.

Oh B.! I was there sweety! I always saw myself as a girl's mom. With my first baby when they told me I was having a boy, I waited until I got to the parking lot and then cried. I denied that the US was right even though there he was, plain as day, in all his glory. LOL Then when he was born...I couldn't help but think he was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen and that I was his mom. You know something that helped too I think was that I went to a holistic instructor who helped me bond with him while he was still in utero. You might want to see if you have one in your area. She was a Godsend! I was so worried what the baby must be feeling - like he wasn't wanted or something!!

If it makes you feel any better, I just had my THIRD boy this past August. At each US there is a momentary sadness because I still would love to have a girl too but I love my boys and can't imagine life without them.

I wish you the best for a happy, healthy pregnancy, baby and mommyhood!

L.

http://APerfectMoment.MyArbonne.com

Hi B., first of all congratulations on your upcoming baby. I can tell you first hand that boys are wonderful!!!! (I have two ages 5 and 7) When I had my first we wanted to be surprised and when we found out in the delivery room, boy we were thrilled (not having any children yet, a boy was a great start) when pregnant with my second we decided to go for the surprise in the delivery room again. I wanted a girl in the worst way and so did my husband. plus everyone was telling me I would have a girl this time and I foolishly believed them because it was what I wanted to hear. when we delivered our second baby and my OB yells out "Its a Boy!" both my husband and i were in shock. I have to say embarrassingly I was almost in mourning my first 24 hours in the hospital over the girl that I didn't get, the girl I always wanted. It is not that I didn't love my new son, because I did, but when you have your heart set on something and you don't get it, there are emotions that go along with that. after that 1st 24 hours, I have never looked back and regretted having another boy. He is now 5 years old, the sweetest thing ever and the biggest blessing in our lives. I always say in hind sight I should have found out what we were having in advance and prepared myself. I think it is wonderful that you know NOW and can prepare yourself for a little boy. don't be so hard on your self, Do not feel guilty....give yourself some time to get through your emotions and I guarentee once you do you will start planning for and rejoicing in the fact that God is blessing you with a baby boy. And once you deliver him, your heart will be filled with more love for him than you ever thought possible.

best of luck to you.

W.

I have a boy, and I can't imagine life without him. I was never partial to any one sex, and didn't care what I had, of course I went through a lot to get pregnant so maybe that's why all I wanted was a healthy child. Now that I have a boy, I am glad about it. He is so wonderful and though we don't have princess parties we do so much other stuff (like kick the ball around in the backyard). I get a kick out of his personality every waking minute, and let me tell you that boys come with a lot less drama than girls. I love that I have a boy, and you will too. i am trying to get pregnant again, but for me it doesn't come easy. God willing I can have another child, I would still not care if it's a girl or another boy. At this point all I want is another healthy child. You're blessed to be pregnant, so enjoy it.

As soon as that baby is born you will forget about any disappointment you had. You will love your baby and you will love raising a boy - no one loves their mom as fiercely as a boy does. They are a lot of fun and they certainly make you more resilient! And you can always try for that girl the second time! I have two boys and just had a baby girl. Good luck and enjoy this precious time in your life.

M.

I wanted to have a boy, I wanted to give my husband a son. So when we were told the baby was a girl I also was sadden. We chose not to tell anyone the sex of the baby or the names we had picked out. I still hoped that they were wrong and I was having a boy. Also if we were going to have a second child getting neutral baby shower gifts made sense. I am not sure when my thoughts for having a boy went away. It was some time after my precious daughter was born. Now I cant imagine life without her. Her father loves her so much and she loves doing girl and boy things. Right now you have many changes going on and after you have your baby there will be more adjustments. Be good to yourself, listen to peoples advise but follow your heart. I believe that you also will love the child you have and cherish it whether a boy or a girl. Due to my c-section I had to wait over 2 hours to hold my baby, the longest of my life, now I cant hold and love her enought. Much happiness and health to your family.

SAHM - 3 year old daughter

I can totally understand what you are feeling, as I have always only wanted a daughter. I have 3 boys and they are the most wonderful things in my life. They love their mother and you will have a bond with them like you won't believe. I cried after my ultrasound with my second son. Now I feel really stupid about it. Boys are easy going and fun. My life revolves around all their sporting events and I love it. This is only your first child. You could always do the sorting for your second child if you really want a girl. I agree with the others. Just be happy you are having a healthy baby and enjoy him because they grow very fast. Lots of luck!!!