Second Baby on the Way, How Do I Help My 5 Year Old Adjust?

My son is younger so I don't know if this will apply, but the advice I got was to tell the baby sometimes that they have to wait. So if I'm helping my older son and the baby cries I tell the baby, you need to wait a minute while I help J. The baby doesn't understand of course but the older child realizes that he's not the only one that has to wait sometimes.

lend the baby to M. so my daughter can stop asking for one=) i would create a mini list of tings he CAN do to help with the baby. As in if bottle feeding he can do that occasionally, or run to get the wipes for you, or play with the baby while you change it...of course as much as he wants, but maybe feeling involved will make it rewarding for him, and make special daddy and him days, and then mommy and him days when the baby is a little bigger

I always have liked to tell my older children that WE are having a baby, not just mom and dad. The whole family will be getting a baby and he needs to be involved as much as you feel comfortable in that process. I didn't feel comfortable in taking the children to doctors visits, but I did let them feel the baby moving. We talked a lot about what would happen when the baby came home and what it takes to take care of a baby. If you have any friends who have a newborn and are willing, you could take your son over and show him the baby and talk to him about how to hold a baby etc.(even you hold the baby so he can get used to that idea too). When the baby actually arrives then let your son be involved as much as you can. Have him help you pick out the clothes/blanket/diapers that the baby will wear that day. If you are bottle feeding, have him help with a feeding. If you are going to nurse, then have a box/bag handy each time with things that your son can do independently that he can only do while you feed the baby. You can put snacks or new toys or whatever in there, just stuff that he can do alone that he doesn't need you to help with. Then only let him play with it while you are feeding the baby. The suggestion of telling the baby to wait is something that we do too. You will find yourself telling your older son to wait while you do something for the baby. Turn that around and tell the baby to wait while you do something for his/her brother. When you have more than one child the advice of sleeping while baby sleeps doesn't work anymore. I find if I spend some extra time with the older siblings while baby sleeps they are more understanding. The laundry, dishes and any other house cleaning can wait, those kids need you too. I have to remind myself sometimes that I would rather have my kids remember that I read them the story or played the game than that my kitchen was spotless.
J.--SAHM of 7

It sounds to me like you are discussing it as a 'concern' and something to be a problem when it's a joyful time and an addition to your family. Present it that way to him and he'll be happy and looking forward to sharing his home, parents, etc. with a new baby brother/sister. Tell him it's a sibling to love and play with and he can teach them things he already knows and make it the wonderful time it is. He should know by now that he's loved and always will be. I had 8 children and never had one show jealousy when I cam home with a baby. They were so excited. They wanted to help get diapers, sit by the baby, show the baby their toys, etc. The older ones held them and it was a fun time for them. Of course they didn't all like the crying at the wrong times but that soon stopped and there was no question that we were still a family...just one more added.