Santa and Easter Bunny

What do you mean they are not real. Hmm. That would explain some things. My mom has some explaining to do.

To repeat my answers to similar questions:

There's no Tooth Fairy (Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, etc)!?!
When did this happen!?! I didn't get the memo on this one!
Don't sweat it.
Truth tends to differ with every point of view.
Kids need to learn how to handle nonsense.
It prepares them for politics.

Why do grown ups make this so difficult?
Facts and belief have very little to do with each other.
My son's 11 soon to be 12. He's never asked about Santa, but he knows and still has no trouble believing at the same time.
Suspend disbelief - literally "stop not believing".
Where do we lose it? Why do we have to lose it?
The world is too mundane without imagination.

I told my oldest santa lives in your heart. when he outgrows santa let him buy presents for a disadvantaged family put it on thier porch and hide and ring the door bell. let him watch the expression on thier face and he will understand the concept of santa.. never had to explain the easter bunny after santa was explained.

I'm 30 and my mom still won't admit that Santa's not real (I'm not kidding!)! I suppose it's all about how you handle it, but I find it charming (and have since I was little) that she loved the spirit of the holidays so much that despite knowing that Santa doesn't deliver the presents I still find myself wondering about the "reality" of him. So, long after all our friends knew Santa wasn't real, he was always real in our house at least in an abstract way...I've never felt like my mom lied to me, on the contrary, I feel like she brought magic into my life--of course I've always been overly pragmatic and serious so maybe that's part of it.

My oldest (9) just asked me and said "Tell me the truth" if Santa was real or if it was me and his dad. I told him that Santa is not the one that gets him all the presents, that it is me and dad that buy the presents. However, there was a real St. Nick who gave out presents to people he didn't know. Then, he was a little sad, and asked about the Tooth Fairy, and I said that's me, too. So now he understands why he and his brother get a little less per tooth than some of their friends...we just can't afford it. Then, he asked about the Easter Bunny, and I said, that's me, too. Sometimes his dad would help fill the eggs and hide them, but mostly, it's me. Then, he said, this coming Easter, can he help fill the eggs and hide them for his brother (7) since he still thinks they all are real. I said "sure!" and then that was it.

I think instead of having a focus on "being lied to for years", turn it around to "we've been creating magic and wonder for years, and now you can create some, too". Make it as fun or better yet, more fun to create the magic than to receive it...

As to timing, I think I was waiting for him to ask me seriously...and I will do the same for his brother. I want to keep the magic as long as possible for both of them. We will still track Santa online at Norad...because it's become a tradition.

Good luck in whatever you decide to do...there really is no right or wrong thing to do here...every child, no matter what age (0-100), is different and will react differently.

I do not remember it really being an issue. Kids know the truth before we think they do, but they do not care, it is all about the magic of the season. I am sure there are some kids that might get upset when they first find out, but think back, was finding out your Dad was Santa really so traumatic? Did it just ruin the rest of your life? Did you stop trusting your parents to ever tell you the truth? No, of course not.

It is not a lie, it is magic. Children deserve some magic in their lives.
I LOVED Santa. I believed with all of my heart. I also felt special when I was let in to the big secret. I felt like I had grown up a little..

Your husband can call it a lie, but that is like saying being married is a lie, because in reality it is just a promise and belief that we stay with the person we love.. It is not tangible..

I will tell you that when they find out the truth.............IT IS NEVER THE SAME FOR THEM!
Once I found out......it ruined the magic.
And let me tell you.....there are very few things to be excited about as we get older (not being negative just truthful) so this one thing was exciting.
I think they are too young. Time will come soon enough for the magic to be ruined. With all due respect, your husband is a grown man and may have forgotten what it was like: the magic and wonder.
I say give it some more time. Kids in school shouldn't be quite in unison yet in their "knowing" the truth. I say give it some more time.
Maybe talk to your husband and try to appeal to his kind, loving side. Good luck.

If your son talks about knights, dragons, imaginary worlds, imaginary friends (etc), do you tell him they are not real? I would guess, that you allow him to believe in these things, because he is a child. We allow our children to believe in my little pony, Tinkerbell, Disney movies, Narnia...all kids of things...because they are children and have wonderful imaginations. Our children will grow out of these things and realize, that they aren't real. I grew out of Santa and The Easter Bunny, just like a lot of other kids. The world is so hard, why not let a child believe in something so magical and kind? Why does it have to be considered a lie? Why can't it just be, allowing a kid to be a kid?

I have felt and sometimes still do feel exactly the way your hubby feels...like we are perpetrating a huge fraud on them!

However, I do not want them to miss the "magic" of Santa and Christmas morning...

We have told my oldest Stepsons and older nephews when they figured it out, "that Santa is real and the Christmas spirit is alive in all of us for as long as you choose to believe"...so far that has worked!

My husband feels the same way as yours, but since he sees how fun it is for them, and how magical he doesnt press the issue. Its not a lie that causes a sense of betrayal, its a lie that helps them to enjoy childhood a little more, it makes the seasons come alive with a sense of magic. Winter means santa, spring means the easter bunny, a fallen tooth means....well you get the idea.

every single little thing about parenting today is being dissected, labeled, put on a shelf and defined. Then arguments ensue about it like virtual tug of wars.

I never felt betrayed upon realizing there was no santa, even at that young age i remember thinking it was for my enjoyment that i was being lied to, and that the realization of these things as mythical is just one of the bittersweet things about aging.

I have raised 3 kids and not one of them ever was upset because I gave them memories and excitement during the past Christmas and Easter holidays. My brothers and sister and I along with my dozens of cousins never ever were angry or thought of it as lies. Sometimes we, as parents, over analize things and worry about things that aren't as bad as they are in our minds. By doing the Santa and Easterbunny thing, you are giving your child a world of imagination, excitement, dreams and all around joy. If they ask you if Santa is real, say "what do you think?" and go by his lead. If he isn't sure but you can hear the want to believe in his voice tell him to go with what is in his heart. If they come right out and say "Santa isn't real" then be truthful and point out how much fun it was to have that excitement and remind them not to ruin it for younger kids. My youngest was 4 years younger then my middle child and they stopped believing while he was still pretty young. I just told them that when the youngest doesn't believe, Santa doesn't come anymore. I think he believe longer the the first two did..lol. I also made it more fun when they got older by wrapping the presents and putting them in bigger boxes with the wrong names on it so they would open the bigger present then have to hand out the presents inside to whoever they belonged too, that way they still had the excitement when Santa stopped coming. Last time my kids got an Easter basket was when the youngest was a father and his daughter had her first Easter. She went after ALL the baskets..lol

My 4 year old granddaughter told me the other day she was going to be a princess when she grows up and she is going to go shopping all by herself. Do you think it is wrong to let her believe she could grow up to be a princess and not correct her right away? I know when she is 15 she isn't going to think she is going to grow up to be a princess anymore, it is part of growing up, don't rush it.

I personally plan on letting my children believe in that stuff until they really realize in on thier own. I remember being so, so excited on those special nights that I could hardly contain myself. Why take that away prematurely?

The only person I've ever met that was bitter about no Santa is my step Aunt. Her parents never told her about Santa and never had Santa in her house because they didn't want to lie to her. Now she is completely bitter about it. I find it sad.

Well, I will tell you my personal experience. I was still believing at age 10, despite evidence to the contrary. Finally, a "friend" INSISTED that Santa didn't exist and she knew he parents hid the presents in a certina closet , and she had known for years, and I was dumb to still believe. So I went home that day and asked my Mom. I think she was surprised I still truely didn't know - I think she thought I was just playing along! I was MAD, because still not knowing at that age ( 5th grade) DID make me feel a bit dumb/babyish, I did yell at her for lying to me about Santa at first, and then went and cried in my room for about a hour about the whole thing - then came back down and said "Mom, does that mean the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy aren't real either?!"

Now, I was only mad for about a day. Mom did explain that Santa was the "spirit of giving" the symbol of what we are supposed to remember at Christmas, that God gave us such a precious gift, and they we should remember other in that same way, she also told me about the real St. Nicholas. I had a little brother 6 1/2 years younger, and I soon got into the spirit of making it special for him. My cousin and I even stayed up all night one Christmas eve making my parents gifts "from the elves"!

Tell your husband it is no more a "lie" then any make believe story with a good moral behind it. The Easter Bunny and toothfairy needed no more explanaition for me, once Santa was explained, they fell into line. I would wait till he asks you about it. let him be innocent ans enjoy the magic as long as you can.

Jess

Good questions! My oldest is 7 and I think this may be the last year we get away with Santa with her also. But it's a GREAT thing. For us at least. I can't imagine having grown up not knowing these things. We were in Disney World last Christmas and Santa even came to see us there. We did our usual Christmas Eve reindeer feeding off of the balcony at the hotel :). Oatmeal and Christmas sprinkles are amazing! haha...but I do worry about how to tell them when they outgrow it. My friend had her son get completely upset with her and continually ask what else she was lieing about! Ouch!

i think all parents go thru this dilema...i think most kids just figure it out naturally-mine did...as did all my friends kids.they learn from their friends an school...dont be to hard on yourselves-at xmas i still give my grown kids presents from santa...they love it-keeps just a bit of magic in xmas...

When my kids were ready I explained that Santa was a heart thing. That giving comes from the heart and I even tied it in to our Christianity. I then explained now that they know the secret, they get to be part of the other side of it. They get the excitement of giving and bringing that love to others. And that it happens all year long - not just at holidays.

When I finally asked my mom about it she said "What better Santa than your own mom and dad". If you are Christian, you can tie in the faith aspect. I know lots of people have a problem with this "lie". But I think kids grow up so much faster in today's society. Let them have some blind faith and enjoy the innocence and excitement of their believing. I am angry that someone (another older child) told my then 5-year old that Santa was really mom's and dad's putting presents under the tree. She was crushed. We rescued the situation by telling her that she knows mommy and daddy do NOT like to get up in the middle of the night unless there is an emergency, so we certainly do not get up to put presents out. Worked for now. Please, no responses about "how terrible to continue a lie for your child"--this is our choice, and her excitement and enthusiasm are contagious. We believe in the SPIRIT of the holiday itself, which stems from the birth of Christ, and ties into the history of St. Nicholas, etc.

I'm thinking if Santa and the Easter Bunny are so troublesome then you should also do away with imaginary friends, disney, non-fiction books, movies and television. These things are not real, they are stories made up by someone, even the ones based on real life have embellishments.

The moral here is, take away all dreams and fantasies and life gets very boring and even depressing. I think you could write a great childrens book about the family that had no dreams and learned to dream. Wouldn't that be ironic?

Sorry, I am not trying to be hard on you just using the extreme to make a point.

Good Luck!
S.

I am with you on this. I hate lying to my children, even about things that are potentially painful for them--I want them to know that I will give them the truth, and that matters a lot to me. That said, I also think that childhood IS about imagination and that NOT sharing Santa, Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny is kinda a bummer. That said, we have kind of let society tell our kids about Santa and such, and just not bothered to enlighten them. My 6 year old has been skeptical about Santa for two Christmases now, and I'm sad to think this might be the Christmas he figures it out--especially since he's only lost ONE tooth, and that will blow the Tooth Fairy in short order! When he asks us point blank whether it exists, we don't say yes or no; we turn it around on him. He doubts because he doesn't see how it's logical for Santa to do what he does--which is right, of course--but we also try to let him enjoy it. He will figure it out on his own soon enough, and *I* personally have issues with the idea of teaching my child the "stories" of our faith on equal footing with the "stories" of Santa and such...but that's me. I know many good Christians who don't see it that way at all; I was raised with those stories, and it wasn't a toughie for me.

I completely agree with Laura A. Children believe in magic, Santa and such are not a "lie". Show them the best and most magical of family holiday traditions and they will form good memories. As we grow up, these "truths" gradually come clear to us. When my 8 year-old asked me recently "is the tooth fairy real?" I answered "I believe in magic, do you?" and I got the biggest smile. She "knows" the truth but still wants to believe, and I let her. Reality hits us all hard soon enough.

I was 8 when I found out about both, 3rd grade. Let him figure it out on his own. I found out through kids at school, he'll most likely find out the same way. I have a 5 year old. I could not even imagine seeing the look on her face it I told her Santa did not exist at this point. It might be easier hearing it from someone else other than his parents. Keep his spirits high as long as possible.

Please don't think of it as lying ........MILLIONS of other parents go through the same thing.