This is inspired by the toothfairy question. I don't think my son would care too much about the toothfairy as long as he still got the $ I remeber saying to my husband last year that this would be the last Christmas our son would believe in Santa, he was 7. He will be 8 next week and in 3rd grade. I know the issue will come up with his older class mates. I kind of feel like we should tell him and spare him the heartbreak and embarrasssment at school. I also cringe at the tought of loosing this special part of the holiday and the fun of it all. What are your thoughts?
Why do grown ups make this so difficult?
Facts and belief have very little to do with each other.
My son's 11 soon to be 12. He's never asked about Santa, but he knows and still has no trouble believing at the same time.
Suspend disbelief - literally "stop not believing".
Where do we lose it? Why do we have to lose it?
The world is too mundane without imagination.
My husband dressed up as Santa to visit a neighbor child for several years, at the parents' request. It was a fun tradition for all. When the boy was around 6 or 7, they decided he was old enough to be initiated into the truth, which was – we are all Santa, we are all loving people who want to make each other happy, and we all love the stories and traditions that help us understand and remember.
The transition was lovely, positive. The family went on enjoying their Christmas traditions, just without having Santa appear in costume. (To this day, their son has no idea who "Santa" actually was.)
we told our kids from the start that santa isn't real. Just a guy in a costume. We teach them the real meaning of Christmas instead
My son believed until he was 11. My almost 10yr old daughter is on the verge of not believing anymore and my almost 8yr old daughter firmly believes in Santa - she thinks her sister is CRAZY for even questioning it. NONE of them were ever teased at school or embarrassed. And there was no heartbreak because first there was a twinge of "hmm...could Santa be Mommy and Daddy?", followed (a year later) by "I BET he IS! I'm gonna stay up late to spy!!", then finally asking me point blank (which the 9yr old has not yet done, but will pretty soon, I think). It's taken a couple of years for her to get here and now she's kinda excited about getting in on (what she believes) is the secret and helping her little sis keep enjoying Santa. I say let him believe until HE'S ready to stop. If he point blank asks you, don't lie to his face obviously - he will develop trust issues with you. But unless HE comes to you, I see no reason to abruptly break his heart for no reason. Let him enjoy Santa for as long as he wants!
I have made the choice to not include Santa at all for my son, he hears about him knows others think of him as more than "the fat man" but that is what we have always called him, no big build up no huge affair, it's difficult but it does sound like you have made up your mind and I would just break it to him gently.
Please don't tell him. Let him come to you. You will be robbing him of the joy of believing or "pretending" to believe-whatever the case may be. Man kids know but pretend they don't for a year or 2-I know I did. Nothing at all wrong with this. I would have resented my parents greatly for telling me.
And if he still believes-he simply won't belive those kids and if he doesn't then no harm done. The harm will be in you telling him yourself.
Totally agree with "B".......
Just wait until he asks. He may never actually ask you, but just take his friends' word that it's make believe and go along with you at home. At some point you'll ask him about it, and he'll say, "Oh mom -I've known that for years!" Kids are different -you never know. If he does ask, tell him that Santa is the spirit of Christmas, and as long as we give and have joy at that time of year, Santa is alive and well!
My kids are 21, 15, 12, and 9. My 9 year old still isn't sure. I won't tell him though. I havent' told him about the toothfairy. I see no reason.
He knows the Easter Bunny isn't real, so I know he has a clue about Santa, what really put doubts in his mind was last year when the mall santa recognized my kids and said something like You came back, I have been watching you all year.
My 15 and 21 year old have so much fun now helping me pick out what Santa gets to give to the other two. My 21 yr old son actually sent a Wii home from Japan as the big Santa gift a couple years ago. My daughter made me a stocking once when Daddy was deployed.
We also pick a family to be Santa too. We get some toys, some clothes, and food and dress in santa hats and play ding ding ditch to a house with children who need little help at Chrstmas. My son LOVES this part.
I have always told my kids that Santa works with my budget and if I can't afford it he won't get it.
I say let him enjoy it as long as he can then make it something he can participate in.
My son was very doubtful Santa was real by age 4 (he is 6 now). I had Santa email him a personalized video message (have you seen this website? - so cute!) and we met "Santa" on a train ride for kids. He was a big believer again and still is. He adores Santa and it's very magical for him! I have no idea when he will stop believing. I remember as a kid I pretended I believed for a couple years bc I knew it made the grownups happy! I didn't mind knowing the truth :)
I'm 31 and I absolutely still believe in Santa.
battery about to die.. will add in a bit
My parents hid most of our Christmas presents until Christmas morning all the way until I moved out of the house. I think I figured it out at school, but I don't ever remember anyone being picked on about believing in it. I think it's because there's a little part in everyone that hopes there is a Santa. I agree with the moms that say let him come to you.
My boys have been to the Santa house at the north pole, so I am hoping they will believe for a while. But I do not remember being too crushed when I learned the truth, as long as I still got a gift all was good. :)
I think you should wait. I have a ten, seven and now a one year old. We still believe in Santa. I know that children at his school may not believe but that hasn't stopped my ten year old from still believing (if he doesn't; he is putting on quite a good show for his siblings)! Children will believe what they believe regardless of what their friends tell them.
Don't purposely take away this 'magic'. I remember one year (probably around twelve) watching my parents through a window as they went back and forth from the garage to the tree. Discovering that they were Santa was kinda empowering in itself.
Good luck!
I have twin girls the same age. They still believe in The Easter Bunny, The Tooth Fairy, & Santa. I think I'm just going to let them come to the conclusion themselves. Hopefully it will be gradual and nothig too shocking for them (especially since in our house The Tooth Fairy only comes if your room is clean).
You are right about this being the age most kids realize it's all just make believe. I distinctly recall my own 3rd grade experience. There was one kid in the class who still believed in the Easter Bunny and our teacher got on the rest of us for telling him it wasn't so. She tried to smooth things over for him, but there's no "unringing that bell."
When our second born was about the age of your son, his older brother came to us. He said all the neighborhood kids were telling him that there wasn't a Santa. Our son was defending Santa and said, "My dad says that there is a Santa, and he would never lie to me. There has to be a Santa." We were devastated. So, we pulled our son into a room and gently told him the truth. He was devastated. He knew it had to be true because he trusted us so much. And, we let him down. At that time we told him the truth about all the rest of the made up characters. Each one was a shock to him. We told him that all of the presents, money, everything came from us because we love him. We thought these characters would be fun for him. Instead, it casued him grief. So, we determined that we would never lie to our children again about these things. We told his younger brother that same day. His response was priceless. He was overjoyed. He was thrilled that his gifts come from mommy and daddy. He was so happy to know the truth. He was 6. We have never perpatrated these lies to any of our children since then. They all know the truth now. But, we still celebrate Christmas. We give them gifts. They know they come from us. We have a wonderful time of celebration, remembering why we celebrate. We don't do Easter because we believe we celebrate the resurrection of Christ every week when we worship at church and take communion. The tooth fairy thing has diminished. It just isn't a big deal to anyone in our home. Our children are blessed daily by good things. We don't need a special occasion like losing a tooth to make the kids happy. The older boys are always giving the little girls coins and money for their piggy banks. They have no needs. We just love them and rejoice in each day.
What do you mean their is no SANTA!!! No one told us that!! In my house we all believe in the spirit of Santa. My daughter is 23, son 21, son 11. Under our tree is says the gifts are from Santa and the reindeers! My son knows that I am the momma tooth fairy. I still leave $$ under is pillow. The only thing I did tell my son when he was your sons age is that its ok to keep to yourself what you believe. Some kids might not understand. He was fine with that.
My four year old has figured out Santa is not real and that there are people inside the Easter Bunny suit. I had to answer her honestly. So she is on her second tooth and on the first one she sat up in bed and said, "It's okay, I don't need the tooth fairy to come in here and Oh, I don't really like the Easter bunny either".
