Rude or Ok?

AFTER READING SOME OF THE OTHER POSTS:

I think it 's not rude to go to a party you have not been invited to just to get a freebe....it is pathetic....even more so to call and ask if you can come.

Unless you have received an invitation from the host, stay home.....Go get a Santa photo from the mall.

I would talk to the cousin who is throwing the party and ask if she minds if you come and explain why. Personally, I think was rude of the first cousin to invite you in the first place. It's not her party and she's not doing anything to throw it.

If the person throwing the party didn't invite you, you shouldn't go. I would be pretty annoyed if someone invited another person to a birthday party I was throwing without asking me. There will be other opps to take pictures with Santa.

Um...you don't invite people tomotherbpeoples parties.

Add to that "free Santa pictures"+ "public children's museum" = long lines & crabby kids & rushed photos.
IMO, not worth it with a 4 month old.
Go to Santa at the mall during an off time.
Small lines =happy mom!

I would feel weird if I wasn't invited by the person throwing the party. I'm sure the cousin who invited you meant well becaue you're the mom of a cuddly four-month-old, but she isn't throwing the party.

Maybe check with this cousin and see if she alerted the host that she invited you.

When in doubt go with your gut. If you're posting on here you are unsure.

First reaction. Go! Don't go!

Let us know.

That is called party crashing. Never go to a private event without an invitation.

yeah a little rude, but it's a public musuem so you could have just happened to show up that weekend.

The problem/rudeness comes if the hostess of the party thinks that she might have to feed you or pay your admission, or give attention to you during the party, would your adorable child take attention away from the bday kid?? and how would the other cousin know that you were only planning on coming for the pictures.

the totally polite thing is to just not go, the next step up is calling the hostess and asking if you can come just for picts and to give gift. but not eat and yes pay your own way.

I think that staying for as long as your daughter can handle would be perfectly acceptable. Your cousin is a mom and would likely understand that once the baby's crying, it's best if they go home. It sounds like your cousin is being very kind and is wanting to include you; so just be up front that you might not be able to stay long and go from there. And if someone was offended that you'd take your tired child home, that's really their problem, not yours. :)

I think others are making a really big deal of this.
I would say, if this will be a burden to you, dont go.
If you want to go and get out, then go.
Im not seeing you showing up with a 4 month old, saying hello to family members and hanging out for an hour to be rude.
Some people are overreacting just a tad!

Toni, Jeezus! Pathetic? Calm down!

Not rude at all. Have a great time!

Dawn

I would call the person having the party, let them.know you were invited and ask if its ok if you stop by with a gift for the birthday boy.

Go take the Santa picture. Stop by and say hi to your cousin then go home.

Okay... I think that your cousin that did invite you *might* have crossed a line by inviting you even if it was *only* for Santa pictures. If you called the cousin who is the mom of the birthday boy and asked her if it was all right since her sister invited you just for the Santa pictures, would it come off to her as tattling on her sister? Would your other cousin catch flack for it if she crossed a line?

I mean, Cousin 2 could say, "I'm sorry, BriMom, but not this time. It's okay my sister invited you but I'm glad you called. I'll have Santa at the family party." Or would she say, "Damnit! I hate it when she does that! I'm sorry, BriMom, but no."

Of course she could say, "Sure! I don't mind at all. In fact I'm the one who suggested it."

You're the only one who knows the family dynamic. What's the most likely to occur?

Generally I would tend to say no. It would be like going to your cousin's sister's adult party, surprising the hostess by showing up, helping yourself to the food at the buffet table, and going home. Tacky.

But what *I* wonder about is whether your cousin's sister knows that someone else is inviting people to her son's birthday party. Does she have to pay for this party per head? If so, your cousin's sister (who is also your cousin - confusing!) will be paying for your daughter to get a free photograph.

Perhaps a little more information is in order. "Betty, it's nice of you to invite us, but what does your sister say about this? Is *she* OK with your inviting other relatives? If we come, we can't stay very long, and with my little girl I won't be able to help with the other children, but it would be fun to be there a little while, and let my daughter enjoy the other kids and see Santa. Would you mind double-checking with your sister about that?"

I'm a little confused.

You have one cousin who is having a birthday party for her son and his little daycare pals. She never mentioned this party to you nor did she invite you.

You have another cousin who works at the venue where the party will be and SHE invited you.

I don't know your family, but I don't think I'd be comfortable going under those circumstances.

The museum is a public place. No one is stopping you from going there.
I'm assuming the free Santa pictures are a promotion provided for by the museum. Again, no one stopping you from going. But, to show up with your baby and a gift on the same day as the party might be a little awkward since the party was never directly mentioned to you.

I would wait for the invitation to the family party. There will be a million other places to get Santa photos taken of your daughter so it's not like it has to be that day or never.

I would not attend, but that's just my opinion, and again, based on not knowing your family at all.

My sister invites friends to my son's bday parties. It's simple. She says "Hey can I invite Pris and Michael?" and I say "Yup! Love to have them!!!" or "We have to pay by head count, so not this one." or "To the family party, that would be stellar. But for the school party I don't want to be distracted."

So in MY family, you'd be just fine.

In other families, it would be party crashing / height of rudeness... becuase she wouldn't have gotten the go ahead from her sister before inviting you. Esp. if the "free" santa pictures are because Coz' has paid in advance for 15 kids to have their photos taken as part of the birthday package, and you guys are #16, which bumps the party price up $100.

I wouldn't go. The host probably has to pay per person for the museum (even if the pictures are free) and it doesn't sound like you were really invited. I once had a kid's mom show up at my son's party at a bowling alley with her nephew ( I had never even met this mom and her nephew wasn't someone my son knew). It turned out o.k. because someone else hadn't been able to and she DID tel her son to just take turns with the cousin (so they would have each been only doing half of each game to not cost anything) but it still felt really awkward.

Since this is family call and ask the Mom who is hosting the party and ask if it's okay.

Huh? Dont go if you dont want to. Sheesh.
Sounds lame to me.