Another Party question...guests Inviting MORE Guests?!?!?

relax take a deep breath and realize its a party. the more the marrier. are you really going to pitch a fit and stress over people wanting to attend.

the best/weirdest thing I ever saw was a halloween party invite from last year. it stated on the invite to "bring the invite and only guests with the invite would be allowed in the party". loud and clear...got the message. but a bit confussed i asked my hubby what that was all about. seems like family comes and trashed the place and would bring any one and every one they could fit into the car to join. so it was clearly stated on the invite. we had a great time. ... hubby won first place for best costume (a garden gnome)!

Unless the host asks the person to bring a friend its just tacky, . Thats a lot of people for a family party lol

I would speak to each person who invited the extras and tell them to please ask first before they invite anyone else to your home. For now it's only 2 extras but if this becomes a trend you could easily have 75-100 more people than you planned on. The embarressment of running out of food or dishes or places to sit could become intense.

People are so rude. I have 3 neighbors who do this so we don't invite them anymore.

Oh boy this is another, "I am such good friends they will not mind."

Clueless. Unless the host says, "feel free to bring a friend", it is considered very rude to put them on the spot and ask to bring a guest.

If you are having a house guest during an invited party, you can RSVP, "sorry we will not able to attend, we will be hosting guests in hour home at that time".. THEN, if the Hosts wants or can include YOUR guest the host will invite them..

How many hostess are going to honestly say no? Most times, I am sure it will not put a person out, but sometimes there is a reason for only inviting certain people. It is considered presumptuous.

Great that you asked this question! Thanks much! Today was my daughter's birthday party and 3 weeks ago I asked my cousin how many skaters would be attending. She replied 5 children and 2 adults. Confused by the number, I asked if she fostered another child. She provided the name of a child who lives with them. I soon clued in that her husband does not ice skate so the second adult would be the mother of that child.

Last weekend she told me she would not be attending.

Yesterday she texted me and said she was on her way with 2 children and herself. I replied back, see you tomorrow. She replied that she thought it was Saturday, so she would see me tomorrow with more kids.

Today she texted that it would be 5 children and 3 adults. By this point, I ignored the message and decided to let the frustration go.

She showed up with her 3 children, the little girl that lives with them, the little girls mother, another little boy and his father - I didn't get their names.

I was so frustrated even though I decided not to be. However, the lady did ask me how much she owed me and I told her, "No worries, enjoy the party". It was nice that she asked, but I can say I would NEVER attend a party I did not receive an invitation to unless it were a date situation and it was bring a date/guest.

So, it was awkward for both of us. She seemed overly appreciative and gave a lot of compliments about how good I was at throwing parties (all I did was pay the bill) and I had trouble looking at her at first. Eventually I had a little talk with self and said to let it go and did.

It's pretty much never OK, Gr8kids. It's ridiculously rude and thoughtless. I can give the 10 yr. old a pass, because he/she's 10 (although I'm not sure why his/her parents went along with this). But the grownups?

Even if they were never taught basic manners, somewhere along the way they should have managed to get some basic common sense. Really!

If it isn't MY party, I don't get to invite people!

For my big parties, I ALWAYS assume a +1 with every invitation I send out.

Ugh. Some people.

You should take it as a compliment that your friends think you are generous and gracious enough to accommodate and welcome more.

You have some calm, rational responses...I won't give you that! ;) I'd be irked too. I get what you're saying. You can certainly accomodate them, but it would have been niced to be asked! This happened recently to me at my daughter's birthday party...um, good thing I found out a few hours before so I could make an extra goody bag!

Now, I have had surprise guests come to my home when I rsvp'd for an event (like yours) and have called the person throwing the party to advise we have to cancel since we had a surprise or last min family member show up and then the hostess extendend the invite to all. I have also planned a trip to someone else's home and AFTER they got an invite for something and called to decline and then the invite was extended to me (I knew them well enough), but I have always declined an invite if additional guests were an issue if the hostess probed for why I would let them know and it's up to them to invite them as well or accept that I can not come.

The only time that is ever ok is if you invite "John and guest" or if they ask permission first.

They should have asked you if it was ok before asking that person along.

Unless you are told you can bring a date, you should never bring others along who were not invited. That is just rude.

Never okay.

Btw, I carefully/politely asked my BIL if he thought anyone would bring a dog to his dad's birthday party @ my house. He said "oh, no" and then his son brought his dog (which has a weak bladder and was so tiny, it could easily have been stepped on). My MIL intervened & took care of situation for me. But, really....

wait - you are having a party and didn't invite me?!?!?! :)

It sounds like you are like me and plan to feed an army. I would personally talk to the people at some point and say "I'm really glad that you brought Jane. Next time, before asking them, can you please ask me first?"

However, I don't know if in the past you have said "come one, come all" or "please feel free to bring a friend" said "it's okay" so they may have "assumed" you wouldn't mind this time....

Personally? I would take it as a compliment....enjoy the company and have a rockin' party!!

Unless you are told to invite whoever you like it is never okay.

Now if you invited a single person it is a given that they are allowed to bring a guest just like you invite couples. A child with a parent or parents not so much.

I never would without asking first. They probably just assume it is ok since the party is so big. I say the more the merrier! Hope yall have a great time!!!!!!

I would think that if a person is invited that would include a special someone or date or a guest. I would make sure that each person knows they are the only one invited next time. I would think if I were invited to a party that I could bring my hubby or if I were single I could bring a date. I wouldn't think of asking for a family thing. If it were more formal, like a work party, or birthday invitation for a friend then I would call and ask.

It may have been one of those things too where one said to the other "See you are XX's party later" and the one said "What party?" then the first one felt obligated to invite them to come along....

I always plan for a few people not to attend and for a few to bring someone else.
At holidays, we always say it's okay to bring someone, especially if their family is out of town or they'll be alone.
It's never been a problem to me, but I've expressed that beforehand.

If I am ever unsure, or plans change and I need to be sure it's ok, then I call ahead. Just showing up with someone not on the guest list is rude.