Room Mom Collected Money for Party, Now Wants Us to Supply Items for Party

$15 per kid for 27 kids and 3 parties is NOTHING, even if every parent contributed. And I'll bet she's paying for plenty out of her own pocket, not to mention all the time she's spending planning, organizing and contacting parents.
Cut this woman a break and do NOT do anything but offer to help, and contribute whatever you can.
Honestly :-(

Parties for kids cost waaaaayyyy more than $5 per child. Especially if any art or games are involved. My son's party is next week and the kids are decorating sugar cookies. The cost for the cookies, frosting, assorted sprinkles, paper plates, napkins, etc adds up so fast! Add in decorations etc. It gets so expensive. Plus, there are often kids whose families don't contribute, so the room moms often have to make that up. I usually pay the cost for my kids, plus an additional student with a note that I hope it helps to cover additional expenses. Any time there is a party, I try to offer to help bring in items. I have been room mom before. It is an expensive job.

I'd raise an eyebrow maybe but be so glad she was doing all this I'd give whatever she asked for... Unlikely she's pocketing the money after all. Someone who is willing to do this work is usually super thoughtful and focused on the kids and not one who would misuse funds. We donate $50/child btw.

Having been a room parent myself several times over the years, and knowing many others, I can GUARANTEE you she's spending a whole heckuva lot more out of her own pocket for these parties than any other parent in the class...PLUS her time and effort. It's shocking how many parents contribute NOTHING. I now give as much as I possibly can whenever I'm asked. I am fortunately able to afford to do so, so it's my absolute pleasure contributing whatever is needed.

Being a room parent isn't a whole lot of fun, trust me. It's expensive, time-consuming and there are always other parents who judge your efforts. Don't be one of those judge-y parents. Contribute what you can and thank your room parent for helping make your child's school experience a good one.

I would doubt that every parent sent in $15 per child, therefore, there is a shortage of funds. There is no way you can have a party with any type of game or craft for $5 per child unless games, arts, crafts, food, supplies are donated by parents.

In our elementary school, there is a sign up sheet for what is needed for the parties a few weeks before the scheduled parties and families donate the items. Some donate more, some donate nothing.

I would go help with the party because it is a lot of work for 1-2 room moms to organize and create a fun party for everyone, especially when so many parents just don't volunteer or donate.

In my day as President of booster club and more, it amazed me how many people did not donate AFTER they voted to do something which benefited their child and then the booster club was obligated to pay for everyone. It sucks but some people just don't care and it leaves the parents who do care out more money, supplies, etc.

I'd give this mom the benefit of the doubt because I have more than once paid out of my pocket for those who did not donate when they said they would.

In the future, you should sign up to the home room parent. That way you can set it up so that parents send in the money and you work with what you get.

Our elementary school used to collect $15 per child for 3 parties too. Not every child contributes. Regardless though...as a home room mom I used to spend a lot of my own money to cover the cost of the craft, food items and decorations.

I'd ask the status of the class party fund. It may be that even less than 15 contributed. Just ask that she share how much is available to each party without "outing" anyone so everyone knows what is needed and can help make up where finances may be lacking.

I wouldn't question it. If you were one that did send money then don't worry about sending additional supplies unless you gave them.
Last your one if our schools proposed a fundraiser free school year and asked all families to donate $25. I did. And then the fundraisers started. I volunteer at the school. The parapro in my room told me that if I donated I shouldn't worry about participating in the fundraiser-but many didn't donate.

Because I volunteer I SEE first hand that very few parents participate with the school. Many events are cancelled due to lackof volunteers. There are a small handful of parents that do volunteer for most requests and a few that send items when asked.
We don't have room moms-but if I were one and someone questioned how I was performing the task I'd let em know I'd appriciate their help and make 'em my secretary ;)

I would think the $5 per kid maybe covers the crafts projects? Certainly not the food, drinks, paper products, decorations, and everything else. If I could, I would send in what she is asking for.

If you have an issue with it and already donated what was asked for, don't feel too bad not sending in more.

I would just chalk this up as nothing to get upset about. As long as it wouldn't break my budget, I would spend a few extra dollars to send something in... Seriously, not a hill worth dying over. The room mom probably spends a lot of her time and money for this effort...

Kristin is spot on. And the room parent is rarely appreciated for what all she does. My recommendation is for you to spend a year being a room mom and try to put together these parties with $5 per party per child, when a third of the class doesn't even bother to send in the money. You may be astounded at how much you have to beg. I used to send notes home to the parents using 26 font and bold type. And I handwrote their names on each one and took the notes to school and helped the children put the notes in their backpacks where the moms would find them. Still, parents would ignore...

And yeah, I spent so much of my own money...

You can always email her and say something like, "I was one of the parents who submitted the requested $15 for party supplies at the beginning of the year. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to get the letter asking to help pay for the winter party or whether not enough others contributed and help is still needed?"

I'd give the person the benefit of the doubt. I suspect she didn't get enough contributions at the beginning of the year.

I would assume not everyone gave their share. If some people cannot afford all of their school supplies, they certainly wouldn't be able to provide $15 for class parties.

I'm guessing she's hoping that if you can contribute more, you will.

Give her the benefit of the doubt here. It's quite possible that not even 15 families contributed. And if she's asking for "snacks" is she paying for the main food and drink out of the class fund? Pizzas and drinks add up fast for 27 kids plus teacher plus adult volunteers (yeah, they get pizza too). She also may be planning a craft and has to buy supplies for that, and believe me, that adds up too.

Why don't you e-mail her and just ask? Better yet, e-mail her and volunteer to be there and help out during the entire party. The best way to find out what's going on is to be there in person and volunteer. She can't run the party on her own, no matter how much money she did or didn't collect. She'd probably be delighted to have your help and others' help too.

You don't know how much money was actually collected. If you gave money and feel you've done your part then just don't send anything. If you want to know the specifics re: how much was collected and how much was spent, ask the room mom.

My daughter (2nd grade) has five parties per year. If your room mom got half of what she asked for that is roughly $40 per party assuming you have the normal Halloween, winter, valentine, spring and end of year parties. $40 to cover 27 kids isn't much. A juice box and cookie per kid is going to be $30 and that doesn't make for a great party.

Eta: I guess I don't pay enough attention... You said 3 parties. So $70 per party....should be doable if it is low key....basically just food and paper plates, napkins. No crafts or decorations, etc.

I was a room mom for many, many years. I also spent a lot of my own money every year, because the money we collected didn't cover everything. I'm sure that's what is happening here.

We had people who couldn't contribute, or couldn't give the entire amount if they had kids in other classes. Plus, craft supplies for that many kids costs quite a bit. Check any Oriental Trading catalog. You can see the prices for yourself.

We had enough griping over the years that the school eventually "took over" the books for all of the room moms. We had to have a detailed budget, and show how much money we collected and how it was spent throughout the year. Maybe if you have concerns you could suggest this for your school, and volunteer to be the overseer.

I doubt there is misuse of money by your room mom, but it's not out of the realm of possibility. You can always get more involved if possible, so you can see first hand where the money is going. To me, it seems like normal things she is asking for, but I'm not there watching so it's hard to know.

I would just ignore the request, then if she asks you directly you could reply "I already donated cash."

I'm not a room mom, but I am a Girl Scout Troop leader, and unfortunately half of my troop has never paid dues ($3.00 per meeting), I have 12 girls, and I can say that I pay out of my own pocket for every meeting, some meetings I've paid the entire thing, which totally stinks because I'm not in the position to do so. I'm an only parent (no child support), and was out of work for 2 months (parents knew this) and still won't pay dues. It drives me nuts!
I would be Ok with it if it were families that were like mine, or less fortunate, but they aren't at all, they are all well off families. SO I don't get it. Anyway, my point is that, because you DID pay, it doesn't mean that everyone paid, and now the room mom needs help. I know you did math on 15 kids, and you would hope that parents would pay, but maybe they didn't. I would ask her about it, say "hey, I put in the $15, do you still need help?" that should open a window to let you know what happened, and that maybe parents didnt pay.. and then you can decide if you want to help her out or not.

You have good answers here. I'd go with it - after all everything is unbelievably expensive - even little things. If you're really bothered than just send a friendly email.

my initial reaction was 'what is she doing with the dang money???'
but for once i read ahead, and have been eddicated.
clearly it's been too many years since i was in a little kid's classroom.
:) khairete
S.

I would just ignore the letter. Maybe she's planning on throwing some over-the-top parties! See what happens. Even if you say nothing, someone else is bound to call it to her attention. If she asks you again personally, then I'd ask how the previously collected money has been spent.

I'd ask. I'm not made of money and as far as I would be concerned asking for money for the year is what it is. Money to cover all the parties.

I'd tell the home room parent next year that you don't do that when they ask for money, just tell them you'll do one or the other, give a flat cash amount or send treats on the day of.

Maybe you should be room mom or volunteer or be o the PTA. It is exhausting to hear parents who do nothing complain. Almost all of these parents work who volunteer so it's no excuse. I'm sure you could volunteer to help plan and see for yourself how $5 a kid for 75 kids when half give nothing goes.

V.,

Ask her for an accounting of the money.
Every time I ask for donations, I give a report of
the income and expenses.
I ran for City Council.
I gave a list of my income and expenses
to all my contacts on my e-mail list out
of respect for their hard earned money.
Just saying. I would ask.
D.