Hey mamas. Can you recommend good age appropriate books for dealing with death? My 10 year old step son is obsessed and consumed with worry because his friend's mother recently died. She had breast cancer. We are just finding out about this and it explains a lot of his behavior lately. His mom didn't talk to him about his friend's loss even though she knew about it. I am not sure if she didn't know how to approach it, thought he wouldn't be effected by it or just didn't think to talk to D about it. She then overheard his friend talking to him about it and waited a month to tell us about it. We have been going crazy trying to figure out where all the sudden crying and preoccupation with his mother had come from. There are some other issues going on as well and he is starting in counseling soon. However, I would like to find some books to read with him and/or he can read to help him reassure that his mom is ok.
Thank you all! I will check out your suggestions. I actually emailed his teacher and school counselor yesterday. His teacher is looking for some things for me and I am waiting to hear back from the counselor. I was hesitant to contact them because school is out already but, I am glad I did. Thanks again. :)
Have you read Sophie by Mem Fox? Also Nana Upstairs, Nana Downstairs by Tomie de Paola. These are about grandparents, but it's a start. These are aimed a little younger than 10, but are still beautiful and maybe useful.
So sorry to hear of this! My mother is a grief counselor. When my beloved cat of 15 years died this winter (I know, NOT the same), I asked her for books to help my almost 4 yo understand what had happened. They helped ME to explain to him on his level. They were pamphlets really, many of them used at the funeral homes she offers services through. But, there was one really cute book called "Heart-shaped Pickles" you might want to try. I just did a quick search and came up with this link: http://www.qolpublishing.com/BookDescriptionPickles.html.
Good luck. This is a tough one. My greatest advice is to be real with him and offer him every opportunity to explain how he's feeling. And let him know that there is no certain way to grieve.
The Tenth Good Thing About Barney
The fall of Freddy the Leaf
You might also want to consult the leader of your church (if you go to one or follow a faith) and ask them to cousel him on your beliefs about the afterlife.
I have taught elementary school for 15 years, and children and adults are the same in this way: we all fear the unknown. We may not be able to reassure each other with 100% confidence that we will not lose the ones we love before they have lived long and full lives because life is uncertain and accidents/illnesses do happen. Still, it exacerbates the fear when we aviod the topic altogether. If we can frame death as a natural next step in the life cycle, instead of a scary and mysterious finality, children cope better. But only if we buy it ourselves. They know how we REALLY feel about things from our nonverbals. Good for you for getting him counseling. Hugs and smiles are free and they carry their own counsel as well. Good luck.
I used to be an elementary school counselor. If you are able to contact a school counselor, they are likely to have GREAT recommendations for books to read with him. I saw someone mentioned The Fall of Freddie the Leaf. It was a great one. Also, The Tenth Good Thing about Barney. But I haven't worked in the field in several years, so there may be other good ones I don't know about. Definitely contact his school counselor, if you're able.
B.
this lady has great recommendations for books. if she doesn't have a category for death, you should def. email her to put one together as she loves doing that stuff. http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/1543634
i love some traditional stories which aren't *about* death per se, but deal with it frankly and honestly. my friend flicka, charlotte's web and the call of the wild are some good examples. the death and grief are woven naturally into the story.
too many modern children's genres shy away from tough subjects like this.
khairete
S.
