Reassurance Needed

I had a miscarriage about two months before I got pg with my 3rd son. I was "cautiously optimistic" until after the first trimester and after that, I was a lot less afraid of miscarrying. For the first trimester, I really just tried not to think about it too much- I know, easier said than done. Good luck- chances are, everything will be fine this time.

I had 3 miscarriages before I had my son, so I think I understand how you are feeling.
At the end of the day, all you can do is put it in God's hands and if it is meant to be, it will be! If it's not meant to be, even though we may not understand "why" then it will not be.
Miscarriage is extremely common and it NOT something you can control, something you did 'wrong', etc. It's a hard part of life.
BUT, chances are this pregnancy will be just fine. Good luck & God Bless!

It's REALLY hard to separate the fear....

Took us 4 years to get pregnant...had him and then got pregnant again...lost that one and had a successful pregnancy immediately after that loss...then went on to have two more losses....one at 20 weeks and the last at 12/14 weeks...

I can say concentrate on the here and now, not the past...you can't change it - only learn from it.....don't panic or stress...i know it's easier said than done - but you will not help yourself or your baby if you can't enjoy this time!!

CONGRATS!! By the way!!

I also had a miscarriage. And when I got pregnant after I feared having another one the whole 9 months. So the fear will never really go away. However, just have faith. And remember that everything happens for a reason. Don't let the fear overwhelm you, enjoy your pregnancy. There is nothing else you can really do. Just enjoy!

one day at a time, and in about 7 mos you'll most likely be holding your new little one in your arms :)

I totally understand your mixed emotions - thrilled but terrified, wanting to be excited but afraid to invest too much emotion, and so on. There have been a number of miscarriages in my family - all I can say to you is that your feelings are normal, and that all my family members have gone on to have successful pregnancies. You will never forget what you lost or the feelings of sadness or lost hopes. But there is plenty of room in your mind and heart for love, hope, and fulfillment. Just as you had room in your heart for your second child after giving so much love to your first, you will find that your capacity to love continues to expand even when you have had your heart broken. In time, you will be able to set aside the fear and be more confident - don't rush it, it will come.

I know the health care system is different in England, but it is excellent, and superior to the American establishment in so many ways. You have every reason to be confident in it!

Congratulations and best wishes!

Well the good news is that Britain has much better maternity/fetal outcomes than America does - tho if a miscarriage is going to happen, it's going to happen no matter how good the prenatal care is.

I can definitely understand why you may allow the fear and possible guilt from the last miscarriage - which 98% had NOTHING to do with anything you did anyways - come back to roost in the back of your head. Try to not allow that. Every pregnancy is different and you already have 2 healthy children. Most women I know wait until after their 3rd month check up to tell anyone - mainly because chances of having a miscarriage are highest in the first 3 months.

Lots of luck to you!! I hope you go with a Midwife!

My third pregnancy was a miscarriage at 9 weeks. It was devastating for me. I did get pregnant again about 3 months later and I too was worried like crazy about the baby. I decided not to dwell on it and kept telling myself that God chose to keep that baby with him and there was a reason that it was never born. I stayed busy, got healthy (exercized and practiced yoga daily), stayed (relatively) stress free, and ended up with a beautiful healthy little girl.
I'm now happy with my 3 babies and always think about that 4th, but I know it was God's plan and I have no control over that.
Each pregnancy and each baby is different. Keep reminding yourself of that.

You just do the best you can to keep yourself in the present and enjoy being pregnant. You do not have to tell anyone until your ready to do so. I didn't even say anything to a friend who was 7 weeks pregnant at the time, and I was 11 weeks along, when she announced that she was pregnant. We wanted to wait until 12-15 weeks.

hey mum....i can so relate to your grief. i had 2 miscarriages before i finally stayed pregnant w/ my son...due 8/8/11. all i can say is everyone has different ways of dealing....some women take a break from TTC for months to give enough time to heal mentally....others jump right back into it on their next cycle. i can say i had a lot of support from family n friends and i also found a support group on babycenter.com for repeat miscarriages.

i have to warn u, it is very easy to get somewhat more discouraged when u join groups like that, so i say join the group but don't go to it daily...check it out once a week and vent. cause i got caught up with giving people advice and then finding myself getting negative n depressed on my situation.

i personally decided to jump back into it right after the losses because of my age. now my baby's due in august and i'll be 39. so it was hard yes...seeing my positive preg tests and then being "cautiously overjoyed" hoping to make it past the first trimester. all i can say is hang in there and cry when u need to...don't hold in your feelings. lean on ur family n friends and come on here as well to get reassured as well....=)

i also want to share that i had moderate to heavy bleeding from 8 weeks to 16 weeks with this pregnancy and the baby is just fine!! so don't freak out if you bleed....my obgyn said one in every 3 women bleed with no cause involved. well, i think that's all for now....i wish u n your hubby all the best!!

Try to think positive! One of my girlfriends had a miscarriage after have 2, and then went on to have a 3rd (and now a 4th!) w/no further issues! I know itr's hard to not be worried, but trying to think positive can only help! Send some good karma out there! I'll send some for you too! :)

Just wanted to say Congratulations!!!!! =o)

I had the same thing happen to me. I lost a baby at 8 weeks - heartbeat disappeared. I have had two miscarriages & two babies. After my miscarriage at 8 weeks - I waited a bit to get over the loss. It isn't easy to get over a loss like that - but every pregnancy is different. I had alot of bleeding with my now 8 week old daughter & even thought I lost her, but here she is! Remember one thing. Once you get a heartbeat (should start at 6 weeks) your chance of miscarriage drastically drops. If you are worried - schedule a sonogram for 7 weeks to ease your mind. If you need further advise - please email me.

You are my DIL. Lost a baby in January 2011 and is now pregant . She is
about 12 weeks. We are just going day by day. This pregnancy is her
6th and hopefully 5th child. I have said to her that she carried four beautiful
children without a problem. I feel that this miscarriage was just one of those things that happen. No reason. You carried two and for you too, it
is probably just one of those things, again no reason. Just keep yourself
busy so the days and weeks go by. Hopefully all will go well. Will keep you
in my prayers.

We all worry, miscarriage history or not! I had a mc, too. Try to focus on all that's going right and recapture the feelings from your healthy pregnancies. Best of luck!

i had that situation as well. i found it helpful to be thankful for the moment. you can say something to the fetus like "thank you for being here today". i felt comforted that i could be thankful for something in the present rather than HOPING for what would be in the future.
good luck!
ps that pregnancy did work out :)

I have been through your situation. I had a miscarriage in January of 2004 and had a D and C also. In May of the same year I found out that we were expecting again. I was very nervous and afraid. I had constant cramping throughout the first few weeks which led to my nervousness. The Dr. did a progesterone test and found that I had severe low levels of progesterone. This is probably what led to my first miscarriage. I started taking supplements for it and my cramping stopped and I had a very uneventful pregnancy and birth and now have a wonderul 7 year old.

I know that you are anxious right now, but we are proof that having one unfortunate miscarriage does not mean that you are doomed to have another.

Take care and take deep breaths, dont allow your thinking to go there - just be happy.

I have 5 children and I had two miscarriages. I miscarried my 1st one at 12 weeks in November 1992 and had another baby October 1993. I had two more children and then another miscarriage in 2008. Then I just had another baby in April 2010. It was hard to not worry. I just hoped for the best and forced myself to think positive. Worrying wouldn't help but could possibly hurt me and my baby.