Ready to Wean 18 Month Old Gradually- Any Tips And/or Advice

Hi J.,

We stopped at 18 months too. I think what really worked was gently talking to her about only bf at night. And then we're not going to bf anymore but we can snuggle. I think the whole process took about two months. I did let her cry a little but was right there next to her, ready to hold her. **The most important part was having her become accustomed to a different association. I'm not sure how you feel about this but as we co-sleep, my dtr's association became holding her lying down, then hand holding, now back scratching. She still (at 2.5) associates me w/ sleep, but I love it that way so it works for us. I think its just about replacing that nurturing she's getting from you w/ another form of nurturing so what ever works for you in that way...

Best to you in a new chapter!

Jen

I nursed both my kids, until they self weaned.... but with my daughter, I verbally prepped her about it.. so that in time, she understood. She self-weaned at about 2.5 years old, on her own. She literally told me one day "I don't drink (from you) anymore, I"m a BIG girl!" And she even thought it was "silly" that she "used to" nurse. LOL

Anyway, what you can do is, ONLY nurse her IF she asks.
Sure, you have a routine with her now... but she may surprise you.... and perhaps, she may "not" ask to nurse at certain times... as has been the "usual" routine.
That is what I did with my daughter, gradually... so in essence, this was going by HER lead and not mine or "my" routine with her. And sometimes she'd just not want to nurse.

then you can try substituting other things, in lieu of nursing before naps/bed. OR, again, only nurse her IF she asks. Distract her. ie: for me, when my daughter would want to nurse and she was 2 years old already... I would say "Okay hang on, I have to do laundry now...." (or some other thing) and then I'd STAY standing, busy myself around the house... and NOT sit down. THEN, within like 1 minute, my daughter would "forget" she even asked to nurse.

OR, CHANGE the routine. For me, I gradually just changed the venue for "where" my daughter nursed... I did NOT do it in bed, lying down. ONLY, in a specific chair. Then after she was done (by that time she only stayed on me for like 1-2 minutes then off she went), we did OTHER things... not sleep. We read, talked story, cuddled etc.

My friends, used the Band-Aid method, and it worked for them!

But for me, personally, I used a combination of talking about it with my daughter, and distraction. THEN, she self-weaned herself and cut down on nursings on her own. And she just stopped herself one day out of the blue!

AND, try giving your daughter a "lovey" to sleep with...

She may surprise you, and drop "feedings" herself. Mine did.

All the best,
Susan

Hi J.,
I'm going through the same thing with my daughter who is 19 months old. She's down to 2-3 feedings a day. What I've found is that nursing to sleep doesn't work for her anymore. The other night I nursed and rocked her for 40 minutes, and she was still awake when I put her down. She screamed for 5-10 minutes and then fell asleep. I know her needs have been met - she ate a good dinner, had her bath, read stories, and didn't need a diaper change. She just doesn't want to go to sleep. For the last few months, she's had a bedtime. She can nurse to sleep if she wants, but awake or asleep, she's in her crib by 8:15 at night.

Since the last few nights she hasn't gone to sleep after 40 minutes of rocking and nursing, I decided it's time she needs to go to sleep on her own. She always wants to nurse right after her bath, so we did that. We then read stories for a few minutes, brushed her teeth, said "night-night" to everyone, and I put her in her crib. She was ticked off, and screamed for about 5 minutes, but she went to sleep and slept through the night. I read somewhere that everything that's hard to do is always harder the longer you wait, and I figured I need to bite the bullet now and get this out of the way. Yes, it's horrible to listen to them cry, but I'd rather get it over with now than when she's 4.

So I guess my approach is to make sure they have their preferred drink available to them, offer them a beverage in a cup in place of nursing, and keep to a specific routine and time schedule.

Good luck to you!

You might also see if your daughter will attach to a "lovey". Deanna Leigh has previously posted about the "dino buddy" that she gave her son to cuddle with when she's not there, but I haven't had any luck getting my daughter to attach to anything other than my boob. Any dolls or blankets I put in her crib she throws on the floor the first chance she gets.

Here's a link to the Kelly Mom page on weaning.

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/weaning/index.html

It sounds like you are doing exactly what they recommend, as far as cutting out one feeding at a time. We have a fireplace that we never use for fires, and all our daughter's books are stacked up on the raised hearth. I keep a sippy cup of water for her on the hearth, and she'll usually go there and drink if she's thirsty. I've also been offering a sippy cup of milk at the end of dinner that goes on the hearth until she goes to bed, so she has milk and water available to her if she wants it. I also took her to Wal-Mart to pick out a "very special milk cup", and I keep calling it that. We took her off the bottle a few months ago, and she went on a milk strike for most of that time. She's finally starting to drink milk out of a sippy cup without protesting.

I've found that my daughter wants to nurse when she's bored, but she'll give up on it if I find something interesting enough to distract her. This morning she wanted to nurse a few minutes before she left for the babysitter's, and I was able to distract her with walking outside and picking up the newspaper.

I believe in child led weaning. Let her stop when she is ready. The WHO (World Health Organization) reccomends nursing to 2 and beyond, as does the AAP (American Acadeny of Pediactrics). The older they get, the less they nurse. Your breasts are her comfort, wait a little longer so you can reason with her to get her to quit. If you try to wean now you'll have a MAJOR power struggle on your hands... She'll think your just being mean. Just enjoy her being little, they grow up WAY too fast. Someday you'll miss nursing...