I Need Some Help with Weening off of Breast Feeding

It might sound odd, but use a farmer's almanac? It has lunar cycles in it and recommends specific days best for weaning animals. I tried it with my first born and dropped the nighttime feedings one month and then the naptime feedings the next. Also used it with the binky. It was not a cinch but it wasn't traumatic either! We talked about it and I explained that he was becoming a big boy and he needed the other milk to grow big and strong. He accepted it a lil begrudgingly, but was ok with it all.

I remember that stage of my first child's life. I had thought - ok, I'll breast feed for a YEAR just like they say you should, but I am DONE on her first bday. It wasn't that I didn't like it, or that she didn't do it quickly or well. It was just I thought my time was a year. Then I found out you can't even give them milk till they are a year old. And you don't instantly stop breastfeeding you gradually decrease when you offer it. NOT FAIR. That was my thought.
So at a year I introduced milk, she had already taken expressed milk in a cup and bottle so that wasn't a big deal, and started the don't ask, don't offer method.
This basically is where you only breastfeed when they demand it.
That didn't work well, she demanded often.
So, then I got to the distraction method and only offering it at first and last thing of the day. This worked much better. I gradually eliminated the first feeding and then the last feeding was eliminated by the time she was 13 1/2 mos old.
At least for my second I knew the whole "only one year" meant really longer then a year.

In my opinion, you don't have to worry until you are ready to do it. She's hungry! so if you're breastfeeding, keep up the feedings, and it should only take a few days when you are ready to wean. Took my daughter only 3 days, moving to just part of the day like you are at 16 months, then the 3 days at 17 months.
good luck

Why do you want to wean her so badly? I am currently nursing my 2.5 yr old through the night, and nursed my older daughter until she was 3.5 (she was barely nursing at all by that point.) It's much gentler to let a child self-regulate weaning. I'm just putting this out there because extended nursing is not the "norm" in America or goes unspoken about, but it can be done. There is no reason to stop at one year if you are both okay with that.

You can find a La Leche League in your area too that can help you gently wean her. You might also find some good books at the library.

Hugs,
M.

Well, if you like, you can just let her wean herself. My little ones also never had formula. When they reached a year I started them on milk and would only breastfeed in the morning and then at night. I then dropped the morning when they were not interested. Finally the last to go was the feeding right before bed. They just lost interest. I was a bit sad, but they were ready. There is nothing wrong with breastfeeding! Most other cultures - and infact, the world health organization recommend breastfeeding until 5! My family gave me a hard time of it too - but I just thought to myself - they are my children and it is my choice! Good luck!

Just to offer oyu some support, You are great for nursing her at all, especially for this length of time...take it as far as you can girl...each time that girl latches on she gets more and more long term, LIFETIME benefits from her Mom. So do you!
The world average is 4years of age! Surprised? Me too, but how great is that? I don't think I would have wanted to go for that long, but what do I know, my kids weaned themselves at 11.5 months and 10 months! Yep, my little guy absolutely BROKE my heart when he refused to latch on one day! Out of the blue! He was a complete boob head, until he wasn't.
Enjoy it Mama, it goes all too fast. Blessings to you and your lucky little family!

Hello ~ I exclusively nursed my DS & pumped on occasion...I introduced him to a sippy cup at 6 months he's now 14 months....http://www.nuk-usa.com/products/c-10$p-67/learner-cup-lat...
as we introduced more solids he nursed less typically at night or if he wasn't feeling well..he's a December baby & i started to wean him over Thanksgiving it was a very smooth transition although I did not/have not introduce him to cow's milk b/c milk/dairy allergies run in the family. Since you DD is only 10 months you may want to hold off on the cow's milk (if that's what you're introducing her to) only b/c she's still a little young & tummy still developing she may have a hard time breaking down the milk protein. Good Luck!

Why not just let her decide when SHE wants to stop breastfeeding? With my first, I stopped at a year and regret it. My second, I let him decide when he was done (he stopped at 19 months, which was 30 weeks into my next pregnancy). My daughter will be 1 next month and I plan on doing the same for her. It really is such a better experience. Cherish the special bond you have with her when nursing and embrace it as long as you can. Women nurse well beyond 1 and often 2 years. In the meantime, you can still introduce milk to her. If she likes it enough, then maybe she will decide that she wants that instead of the breastmilk. Who knows? Just be patient with her. Best wishes on the transition. And congrats on breastfeeding so long!!!!

I went to La Leche League when I decided to wean my son. Every meeting I asked for tips. :) The league does have a very helpful brochure about weaning. I also found it helpful to hang out with other people who didn't think I was crazy for breastfeeding past a year.

I started weaning at 2 and this worked for me: I counted until 30 and then said "All done." We did that for a few weeks, and then I counted to 25. and then 20 and then 15 and then 10. We stayed at 10 for a few months. It was easy for my son to understand because he was 2ish.

If family made jokes or said things about breastfeeding him, I told them that I was breastfeeding until kindergarten. That shut them up. I didn't--he weaned at 2 1/2ish. It still made me mad. But it was nice to have the support of other women at La Leche League.

Just wanted to add some support - 1 year is NOT a deadline, as many people have told you. Your family has no business telling you how to raise your daughter. I have nursed both my kids well beyond 12 months (son was 20 months when he self-weaned, and my daughter is 20 months now, but still nurses 2x/day). At some point you will be "done" nursing in public and it's fine to tell an older child that she can wait until you get home. The World Health Organization recommends nursing until age 2. You'll find a system that works for you and her. Even the Amer. Acad. of Pediatrics says that you should nurse "at least 12 months" and that you should stop nursing when either you or your baby decide you're done. Sometimes extended family is completely clueless about nursing and you need to just put your foot down and say that this is YOUR child and that you have made a choice and you don't wish to discuss it anymore. You're doing great - keep it up :)

You can't wean her from breast milk unless you replace her feedings with another form of milk, either formula or regular milk and I think she is a little young to go to regular milk. She's hungry so if you only want to breastfeed for a few minutes then you have to supplement with a bottle of formula. Otherwise, wait until she's a year old so her stomach can handle the regular milk. Water just isn't going to fill her up. You should also be giving her more baby food and cereal in her bottle of milk so she'll stay full longer. You can also use the soft nippled sippy cups instead of a bottle. They are sold at Walmart for under $2.
Here is how to approach this. At bedtime, nurse her for a minute or 2 then give her a sippy cup or bottle of formula. You only have to give her formula for a month or so. Make sure she is full, usually 4 to 6 oz will do. Keep a bottle ready in the fridge so if she wakes up in the night then you can give it to her. You might have to nurse for a few minutes to release some of the pressure in your breasts. The less you nurse, the less milk your breasts will produce and after about a week of this, just quit nursing her all together and only give her a bottle or sippy. You can put cereal in the bottle to make her more full so she'll sleep better. You can still hold her during all her feedings so she feels safe and secure but just slowly cut down the amount of time you are nursing. The main point is to make sure she gets milk so she's not hungry. Once a day, try giving her a few ounces of regular milk, slightly warmed up just so you can get her body used to it. It's much harder to digest than formula so I wouldn't switch her from breast or formula overnight. It might cause her stomach issues.
During all this, you might have some mild engorgement in your breasts. They way I got my breasts to stop producing is to pump or hand express milk for just a moment or 2. After a week or so of no nursing, my breasts just stopped producing and the milk went away on it's own.

OH, I have 5 kids and 4 of them are older and I always put a litte bit of cereal in their sippy cup at night. There is nothing wrong with that whatsoever.

I know this might not be what you want to hear, but why stop? Having nursed both my children until after age 2, I would recommend the once a night ritual continue until she is more ready to wean from that special time with mom, nurturing and nutrition. My daughters and I have a wonderful relationship, even as they are in the teenage years, they are healthy and happy. I contribute the foundation for their mental and physical state to breast feeding. I look back and am so thankful I nursed until they were ready.

You've gotten a lot of good advice here. One thing I would add (which I don't think I saw) is that I would recommend that you teach your daughter to go to sleep without the breast before weaning. Nursing is such a comfort in addition to continuing to provide your little one with nutritional and health benefits. Long before my daughter weaned at 34 mos, I moved her night nursing to before her bedtime story. That way, she gradually learned to go to sleep on her own and never suffered the emotional distress of having her "Mommy yum-yums" (as we call it around our house) taken away and her method of going to sleep at the same time. I never thought that child led weaning would take me to 34 mos, but, it did. I'm nursing no. 2, now and I will stop pumping at 12 mos like I did with no. 1, but will continue to nurse morning and night until we mutually decide we are done. You can still introduce cow, goat or soy milk at 12 mos, even if you continue to nurse.

Unless you have a real need or desire to stop nursing, then don't. It's the best thing that you can do for your daughter until she is at least 2. Even if you only nurse her at night you would still be giving her great antibodies to keep her healthy. It's a great job that you have done so far. It's much easier to wean when it is more by mutual consent. Keep up the good work!

why so concerned with #s? she can easily transition from breast to milk and then at some point she will get off the breast all together. I know a TON of moms that were concerned with #s. weaned there kids before they were ready and REGRET it terribly to this day. It is way too traumatic to the child. Let her wean at her own pace. Better for you and for her! If you dont do this naturally you WILL break her heart and yours in the process.

One thing you might try is more cereal during the day. My kids woke up in the middle of the night usually because they were hungry. If you are trying to wean her, she is likely "more hungry" for nutrition and calories. Momma's milk is complete perfect nutrition. If you can nurse her longer, it is beneficial for her and emotionally a lot less distressing for her because your weaning her instead of her weaning herself means to her that you are pushing her away... Right now, you are momma and you are everything to her.

So, for more calories and nutrition to help them sleep more happily during the night, I like to take a 6 ounce jar of fruit or veggie puree (pears, apple sauce, sweet potatoes, green beans all work well) and emty it in a bowl. Add a jar full of water, then add cereal such as baby oatmeal or baby rice or baby mixed grains and mix until smooth and neither lumpy nor runny. I like Earth's Best Organics brand because it holds it's texture without sliming.

I've got 4 kids. One weaned his self at 6 months. It turned out he had severed allergies to milk and eggs, which I ate a lot of and he was reacting to in my milk (per pediatric gastroenterologist and allergist). Two weaned their selves around a year. My daughter, who had the most potential for allergies and has a hole in her heart, insisted on nursing until 18 months. Then she weaned herself. If your child has any health issues, known or hidden, nursing until the child weans their self is the best idea both nutritionally and emotionally. Just add more calories with good cereal during the day so you eliminate the variable of waking up hungry.

Hi M., I just want to say I had "family pressure".. I ended up nursing my 3rd child until the week before she turned 4!! I just never told anyone she still nursed. Morning & Night nursings are so private, my husband could have cared less.. it was his family. So after she could understand I told her we just could not tell people.. Sort of like when you have a 5 year old that still sucks their thumb...so what? Who cares it will not matter in the big picture of life..Nursing her was by far the BEST thing I ever did. Enjoy every minute of that baby!!

I think the key is to wean slowly and gently - those nighttime feedings are usually the last to go b/c it's when they need the most comfort. My daughter was the same way but around 13-14 mos. she didn't need the nighttime feeding anymore... And then I was the hormonal one! How funny! Anyway, you might want to try having your husband feed her before she goes to bed - that way, perhaps she'd be more willing to take the water from him.

Good luck and congratulations to making it almost a year! That's quite a feat and you should e very proud!

After reading your post, my main questions is "what is your motivation for weaning?" Are you tired of it and want to stop? Do you think you're supposed to be done at 1? It sounds like your daughter isn't ready to wean, and if it's not a problem for you and your family I don't really see a reason to stop. Breastmilk is beneficial for as long as you use it, be it 2 weeks or 2 years. There is no timeline for when you should STOP breastfeeding. So, unless you really just want to stop I would just let her. It's natural, and over time when she's ready she will self wean, or at least it will be easier on you when she's showing signs of being ready.

Hi M.,

Just listening to your story brings back memories. What worked with me for my daughters was to start by putting my breast milk in a bottle. Although the bottle was new, the breast milk was familiar to them. I also started out by giving the bottle only during the day and continued breastfeeding at night until they no longer required the night feedings. Finally, when I was ready to stop pumping milk for the daytime feedings, I mixed my breast milk with the cow's milk to help with the transition. I hope this helps!

You need to drop 1 nursing session at a time. As long as she is solidly on table food now, she should be down to like 4 nursing sessions a day -- upon waking, after morning nap, before or after afternoon nap, before bed. Do you give her any breastmilk in a cup or bottle? It is OK to give her a glass of water at snack or dinner or watered down juice if you do not -- but just a little (no more than 4Oz a day of juice). Again, this is all based on your child being well established on food by now (like 3 meals a day and a snack). If she is not, you need to work on that in order to wean properly. The first year is a gradual move from all liquids to a balance of solid food and liquids. The ideal is to be on table food and about 16-24 oz of whole milk at 1 year old if you do not intend to breastfeed past 12 months.

To make it so that you do not get a breast infection, you should only drop one nursing session at a time -- gradually. Like dropping 1 the first week, 2 the second. Most women take away the "right before bed" one last as infants are usually attached to it. You need to start a new "routine" so she gets used to that. There will be a battle if your baby is attached to the breast so do it gradually (for you and her) and try to keep from getting too frustrated. Your body will react quickly to adjust to the dropped nursing sessions...so if you don't intend to fully wean for the next month, do not drop too many nursing sessions too quickly unless you have breastmilk in your freezer and she is taking that from a bottle or cup too.

About the night time feedings. As long as your baby is of good weight and growing well, most doctors (and the books too) say it is alright to night wean COMPLETELY at 9 months (no nursing sessions at all during sleeping hours). If you are OK with crying-it-out, I suggest dropping 1 nursing session at a time if your kiddo is pretty regular about times she wakes up to nurse. Cold turkey might be a bit much if she gets up say 3 times at night. You have to be consistent though so she learns what to expect. Do not give in and go to her 1 night and then expect her to settle on her own the next. Some people don't agree with cry-it-out and might have different opinions. I followed Weissbluth's book - Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. Both my kiddos sleep 11-12 hours per night without waking (they are 2.5 yrs old and 15.5 mos old).

Good luck! If you need anymore help, send me a message -- I just weaned my little one when he turned 1 a few months ago, so I know what you are going through.

A. F.
Local Childcare Coordinator
Cultural Care Au Pair
(and FTWM)
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http://aferrini.aupairnews.com

Wait till she's a full year to wean her. I understand what you're thinking is, but you will need to replace her nursing sessions with something. If you want to start weaning now, give her breastmilk in a sippy cup. Start by cutting out the nursing session that she seems least attached to. Don't offer her to nurse and if she acts like she wants to nurse, give her the sippy with breastmilk in it. She may refuse it, so you'll just have to keep trying. Once you've successfully cut out that nursing session, pick another one that she's not that attached to. Substitute that one with a sippy cup with breastmilk. Just keep doing that until she is weaned. By cutting out one at a time it's a gradual change for both of you. The night time nursing is almost always the last to go. Don't offer her the bottle though, that's just another think you'll have to wean her off of.

Contrary to popular belief, cereal in a bottle does NOT help a baby sleep. Never give food in a bottle. She's 10 mos old now, so she's more than ready for table foods. Just make sure everything you give her is soft and cut into small pieces.

Good luck!

.

My son was still waking up to nurse in the middle of the night at 9 months old. A friend suggested "Babywise: Giving your baby the gift of nighttime sleep" and within 3 days of reading the book and implementing what it said, he was sleeping through the night.

As for weaning, after he turned one, I started eliminating one feeding at a time (one a week) to help him get used to it and help me not get engorged. Of course, I also taught him to use a sippy cup (with water or juice) so that I could put his whole milk in a cup and not a bottle. He's done great ever since.

I am just curious as to why you want to quit nursing at exactly 1 year? It is a lot less traumatic for the baby to wean themselves. Trust me, she will. When she turns one and you start introducing milk in a cup she will want to have that during the day. Eventually she will only nurse at night and then she will eventually stop that too. My daughter was nursing a lot at 10 months, but by 17 months, she has completely weaned herself. And she NEVER had any formula. It won't last forever. I honestly wish it would have lasted a little longer.

Is Dad around? To wean off nighttime feedings, we followed the advice in the book "the baby whisperer" (you can find a lot of the same advice online by just googling the title), with the wrinkle that when DD woke in the middle of the night and wanted to nurse for comfort, but didn't really need the milk anymore, DH would go in to sooth her. We didn't like to use cry it out (it broke my heart!), so DH would sooth her, rock her, give her a paci, and get her back to sleep--but obviously he can't nurse her! This helped b/c if I went in, she just wanted the boob--but if she didn't see me, it would take 10-15 minutes, but he could get her back down. This taught her that she didn't really need to eat. Once she believed that, DH and I could take turns going in to soothe her if she woke up, and soon enough she could sleep through the night on her own (or soothe herself back to sleep when she woke). We used the same method to lose the bedtime feeding--DH took over bedtime, and fed her a bottle of milk before putting her down. It can really help to have someone else step in for a few days, since if you pick her up, she's right next to your breast, which is exactly what she wants!

I had a hard time too, trying to wean my babies. I also thought that after a year I would just go to cow's milk and that would be no problem. My boys didn't have any intention of switching. Here is how I did it:

I stopped nursing them during the day and gave them cow's milk instead. Then I stopped nursing them before bed. I also gave them regular milk before bedtime, but made sure we cuddled and read books before bedtime. At that time they usually slept through the night. The first morning feeding was the one I kept a bit longer. The main reason was that I didn't felt like getting up to make a bottle at 5 am. It was much easier for me to just get them into our bed and feed them and go back to sleep. Eventually, when I really wanted to finish the nursing, I had a sippy cup of water ready. I still took them into our bed at 5 am, we cuddled, they nursed a tiny little bit and then I gave him the water. My older one really liked the morning feeding so we kept it a bit longer. We finally stopped it when we went on a few day visit to my parent's house. We stopped nursing there and we just never went back into it at home.

Another interesting thing was that my older was unable to drink out of a regular baby bottle. Somehow he just couldn't figure out how to do it. I went straight to using a sippy cup, which seemed easier for him. Maybe she would prefer a different kind of bottle or cup.