Rant - My Son's Day Care Gave Him Peanut Butter for snack...He's ALLERGIC!!!

I can't believe there are still child cares and schools that allow nuts. In Canada pretty much all child cares and schools, and any other public places that cater to children are nut free. I would find a nut free facility for him, because he is not old enough to be responsible for his condition yet, and because child care workers are only human and can make mistakes. You said that you carry an epi pen, but does he keep one with him at day care? He should have one with him, and a medic-alert braclet, if he doesn't already have one.

I would be beyond mad to say the least. This isn't a little mishap, it a HUGE one, it could have killed him. I would go in and first talk to the director of the center then to each and every teacher. I don't even care if they think you are crazy. I would first say, if this happened to my son it could happen to anyone's child here. I would tell the director, we need a list visible to everyone since his teachers weren't aware that he has allergies to peanuts even though it is on ALL of his forms. Every teacher should know all the children who have any type of allergies that are life-threatening.

This could be a huge lawsuit to this center and to the teacher. Not saying you should go for legal action, but they should be aware of it. When my son was in pre-school, he was not allowed to bring any type of "peanut" product to school. They didn't want to take a chance of a child being in reach of something so poison to some.

I would be pissed off. And I would let everyone know I was.

What Kristen W said, and if they have it in writing that he has a severe allergy, then send them the ER bill as well.

Okay, I TOTALLY GET IT, but things like this will happen no matter who is in charge of your child. One day you will accidentally give him something that touched peanut butter and you will have to follow your plan. Thank goodness you have a plan in place - obviously well executed today.

As for what to say to the people in charge of the center? My suggestion is that you get your son a bracelette that says NO PEANUTS just like a diabetic would have as a reminder. In addition, I would ask what would help the CENTER remember allergies for ALL students so your son can be the "lesson learned" and not another statistic.

I am happy that you are teaching your son to own his allergy young it is important, I have my own experiences with that. Two is not too young to start, but he is too young to bear the actual responsibility.

I hope you can work THRU this with the center and not just write them off. It is okay to be frustrated but try not to take it out on anyone and make this a learning experience vs YOU ALL SUCK AND CAN NOT CARE FOR MY SON SO NANNER!

I would simply talk with the staff and the director. It's a serious offense and definitely needs to be addressed. You know what a daycare setting is like, you try to inform everyone and mistakes happen.

When I worked daycare we had one SEVERELY allergic child. His mother brought his own food and snacks until he was in about third grade to assure he was safe. She also asked that a few pictures of her son be put up near the snack area and kitchen with a note that said "Remember I am allergic to peanuts and beans!". She wanted everyone to be aware, even substitute teachers.

And I would be CERTAIN that an epi pen and benedryl is on site should something like this happen again and your son needs that medication. You can make sure that there are strict instructions that only you can ok the administration of those medications.

A big mistake happened. Take this as a learning opportunity, for the center and for you. Let them know that this incident required and ER visit and it compromised his breathing. Come up with a plan with the center so nothing like this happens again.

Consider this a learning experience. No need to look down on staff or continue to be unhappy with them. Accidents happen. Unless you over reacted and read them the riot act there is no reason to not look them in the eyes. If you did go ballistic, apologize.

My granddaughter has a peanut allergy and had another student cram a pb sandwich in her mouth. Even tho she told the staff they did nothing until I got there and saw that she was congested. I reminded them of her allergy, gave her an antihistamine and went on our way. They were more attentive after that.

Yes, it's scary but it doesn't have to be this scary for you. It's unlikely that he'll be serious affected. It's possible and that's why he has the epi-pen. But you should always try giving him Benedryl type antihistamine before rushing him to the ER. You only need to go to the ER if he's having a great deal of difficulty breathing, his nail beds are turning blue, he's gasping for air etc. It's then that you administer the epi-pen first. Your son was in no danger.

You'll find with experience that even tho exposure to peanuts can be dangerous, it's not likely to be so. You can relax. And you can be less upset when accidents happen.

Vomiting is not typical. Neither is a fever. Look for respiratory difficulties, hives, scratchy throat and ears. I suggest that the vomiting may have been a separate issue.

Has your son been tested for allergies? Or did the doctor give you the epi-pen based on your concerns? If he hasn't been tested please do that. If he's allergic to peanuts he is likely also allergic to other things.

Later: What you described later at the hospital is not anaphylaxis. Labored breathing and hives is not anaphylaxis.

It sounds like you're determined to make this into a major issue with day care. What will you gain? Yes, it's important to keep peanuts away from him. The day care is now more aware. Are you going to go thru life scared or are you going to accept that this sort of thing does happen from time to time and deal with it in a more rational manner? Because this will happen again. Probably not at day care. But, later, at school. When he's at a friend's house. Perhaps even with you if you're around anything with peanuts in it.

I know I'm going far on the side of acceptance in reaction to the extreme, "my son could've died" reaction. Aim for a middle ground. You've received some good advice on ways to prevent this in the future. Focus on making this a beneficial experience instead of turning it into a catastrophe.

Please relax and know that your son will be OK. Kids have this experience everyday and live. I've not heard of one kid dying or even going into anaphylaxis because of their allergies. Peanuts and peanut allergies are all over. It's become a part of life for many children and their parents.

You need to know of the potential but you also need to know that the potential is unlikely. And you need to accept that people make mistakes, just as the day care people did and move on.

I would calmly speak with the director first. Schedule a time with her (not on the fly or in the hallway) and ask her what their plan is to keep this from happening again. I know that it's insanely frustrating, but if this happened to your son, it could very easily happen to another child.

I can assure you that there have been conversations in the ensuing hours, so listen to what they have to say. If it's not acceptable, then work with them to come up with a solution. This is something you will have to deal with for the rest of his life, so it would be beneficial for you to have some strategies "in your pocket" now!

My son's group daycare center in NY was completely "peanut free". If we brought in a treat, we had to bring in the box or label to confirm that it was peanut free. They took it very seriously and professionally, so it can be done. I was pleasantly surprised by the number of food items and snack items that are actually labeled "peanut free".

You way that you have suspected a peanut allergy... is it on his medical form? If not, I would strongly suggest that you have the pediatrician add it to his physical form. That way, there is NO confusion regarding his peanut situation!

I'm sure his teacher feels horrible about what happened and she probable won't make the mistake again. Try using what happened as a teaching tool for the daycare. Talk with the Director about how this can be prevented from happening again. Your sons teacher may be your best allie in this.
I'm glad your son was okay.

As mom with a kid that had a severe peanut allergy (we recently discovered he outgrew it- YAY!), I can tell you mistakes happen. The thing here it to have a plan. Since you have an epipen, I assume you have been to the allergist to know the exact complexity and level of the allergy. If so, the allergist should have given you an action plan for exposure. Make sure you share this with the daycare and go over it in great detail with his teacher. You cannot assume they will know what to do in the event he is exposed. The daycare MUST have an epipen and Benadryl on-hand at all times in the case that you or your husband are unavailable.
Sure it's infuriating- I have been there so many times. But the important part is the the daycare is on board with the action plan as well as the prevention. Exposure can happen anywhere at anytime.
Hope this helps.

I'm not sure what I'd say. I'd be so exceptionally pissed that it would be tough for me to say anything.

Unlike a toddler biting another toddler, a daycare feeding PB to a kid when the allergy has been clearly noted is a reportable offense. If the state knew about this, they'd be investigating.

First, give yourself to calm down. Then go talk to the school and make sure that they understand the gravity of their mistake. If they can convince you that they have figured out a way to make sure this never ever happens again, you could continue using them. Otherwise, move your child and report the daycare. I'm sorry, but this is a potential life and death issue.

I'd be supper pissed too. On the bright side, they aren't likely to make the same mistake twice and now you know he's not anaphylactic! Your anger is justified. Hopefully an apology will help your anger settle some. I think it is quiet okay for you to calmly express your anger and at the same time accept their apology. It may be time to bring up a no nut policy? Trust me, as a vegetarian mama, no nut policy is a thorn in my side: we live on them. But when it comes to day care, and noncomunicative toddlers, it makes sense.

Not that this has anything to do with this, but recently saw pediatrician talk about the reason there are so many allergies out there. Everyone holds off giving eggs, peanut butter etc. her consensus along with others was that if these foods were introduced early on the allergies were far and few between.

You work there. You must know they give peanut butter for snacks right. Send him in with his own snacks. Never a problem again. U fortunately things happen in real life. If he is that allergic maybe a babysitter at home would work better. Just a thought.

Pin a note to the back of his shirts--NO NUTS!

Mistakes do happen. It was a first. Do not make a scene and have the workers take your anger out on your DS.

I understand your anger and frustration and thank goodness your son is ok. I'm guessing that the person that gave your son peanut butter is completely mortified and sickened that this has happened.

Life is not perfect. You did do everything right and even so, mistakes happen. Thank goodness you were aware that your son had an allergy at all (throwing up after eating a food at 10 mo old would not always illicit the kind of caution you had). And thank goodness you had a plan in place and knew all of the signs to look for.

I would breathe deeply and have a talk with the director about a no nut policy across the board. More and more schools are implementing them, and knowingly having a child in care who has a nut allergy should be cause enough without this kind of incident. Your son was lucky... without a firmer policy the next child may not be. Be grateful your son is ok, compassionate that someone made a mistake and proactive for fixing a problem.

Best of luck~

I understand since they are aware extreme care should be taken. As his schooling continues it will get worse, speaking from experience r. Please soon get an allergist who has tested him to write a letter with strong instructions of what he has tested allergic to, a written plan of exposure protocol with attached medicines. If necessary fill out a 504 type plan that holds them more accountable.

I feel badly for you and your little guy. My daughter has a serious tree nut allergy and has an Epi at all times near her. It can be scary as a parent. I like the idea of talking to the director to come up with a plan. Also, I would bring your own snacks from now on. Sending blessings your way.

The damage is done. They probably won't forget again:) All I can say is accidents happen--especially when your children are in the care of others. Fortunately, he is getting older and will soon be able to be his own advocate.

If there is a child who is allergic to peanuts they need to have a no peanut policy for that room. My daughter's preschool has one boy who is allergic and so they sent out a notice to all parents that we are now peanut free. You should have a meeting with the head people at your daycare and get them to put a no peanut policy in place. This could lead to someone's death if they are not more careful in the future.

I totally get why you are appalled! Yes, as another person noted -- you have it on the forms, also ask now for a meeting with every teacher or aide or parent volunteer who might be giving out food at any point, and go over the action plan for if he is accidentally given PB or if he inadvertently grabs another child's snack and has a bite. I think meeting with them in person would bring home the seriousness of it. If they are trained professional day care providers (and I sure hope they are) they are well aware and probably absolutely horrified that it happened.

I also would dig into this a bit: Was there a volunteer there helping that day who would not have known? Was there a new aide in the room? Was something going on that day just before or during snack time that distracted the teacher/aide/volunteer (such as kid having a meltdown at that moment, or the teacher was dealing with a child who had an issue and the aide gave snack if she normally does not, etc.)

Whatever you do, approach it calmly and not in an accusatory way or they might get defensive -- and defensive people do not LEARN well, and they need to learn from this. When you meet with them, present it as "This time things got serious and then turned out fine, but we feel we need to go over, in person and all together, the exact steps. And you need to know that he may not immediately have trouble breathing - but it is coming" and so on.They may have thought that if he wasn't having trouble breathing he was OK and you know better.And next time, the breathing problem could hit much faster -- there is no way to know in advance.

Does the day care have signs around that warn "Peanut allergy --NO nut snacks for Jason, Sally and Bobby" or something like that? At the preschool at our church there is a big sign outside each classroom if there are children in that class who have allergies. Even our elementary school has such signs at every classroom door as a constant reminder. If the day care has a food prep or food serving area, I would want signs up there as well.

Many schools and preschools -- even many camps in the summer, afterschool programs and even my child's DANCE school -- now just ban peanut products, period, forever. Because the allergy can be so very serious and hit so fast, that seems like a wise course particularly in a day care or preschool setting, where the children are young enough that they won't think to say, "Does that have peanut butter in it? Has that cookie my friend brought in for his birthday celebration have any nuts?" and so on. Older kids can get very good at policing their own food but for these younger kids, I would discuss with the preschool the idea of banning peanut products. A truly allergic child could end up sick just because a friend was a messy eater and didn't wash hands enough after a snack time.

Be aware that some other parent is going to fuss and fume and say, "MY child can't have his favorite snack because of ONE kid, and that's unfair!" but to me that's boo-hooing and whining; her child can have his PB at home any time and all the time. Offer ideas for other protein snacks that kids like, such as cheese, in place of PB.

My child does not have this allergy but I get why it must be taken extremely seriously. You don't want to explode at the day care folks -- but you also are going to have some real issues trusting them now. Make sure they can see that and tell them you expect them to work with you because your son ended up in the ER directly due to their mistake, and you need it to be a learning experience for them -- not just for his sake but for any kid with a serious allergy.

During my oldest daughter's 1st knee surgery( at age 8) which was delayed by 2 hours by the surgeon my daughter had a reaction to the cocktail given by the anesthesiologist and aspired. Thankfully she came out of things okay. And trust me, there wasn't a dry eye . In the O/R. We're we upset, hell yes...going in for knee surgery & turning blue on the table was frightening, especially for this being the third time we almost lost our daughter. However, they rescheduled and things went well two weeks later with the same surgeon & anesthesiologist. The concern shown by all was a huge factor in our decision to allow this, but the look on their faces when we were taken in after this first happened said it all. Things go wrong each & every day and this was a mistake that will hopefully n ever happen again, but to hold onto something like this would've hurt us more. I'm not saying you don't have the right to be upset because you most certainly do. But your son is okay. Sure it could've been worse, but your son is okay because of the necessary action taken. People often asked if we were filing a lawsuit after what my dd had gone thru, which we didn't. The phone calls we received from all involved was enough and knowing the level of concern gave us the confidence we needed to proceed with the surgery again. Do we worry each time she has gone under for what is now up to five knee surgeries, I'd be lying if I said no, but as long as we live, my husband & I will always have an appreciation for the measures taken to keep our daughter out of harm's way and realize this could've had a much worse ending.

Wow , that's horrible ! My son is severely allergic to peanuts also . His preschool was peanut free as are most because kids at that age are so messy and could even get peanut on your son or the toys they share and he could have a reaction. In regards to someone saying throwing up is not a symptom or a bad one , it is actually a sign of a severe allergy .I would probably move him to a daycare/preschool that is peanut free and that really understands how to keep your child safe .I hope this gets easier for you :0)

If you did not also specifically discuss "no peanuts" to the staff, then you must. You must sit down with them, tell them what happened in the ER, find out what their protocols are and make sure they have an epi pen and know how to use it. You can't rely on a 2 yr old and they should have had a pen if you had one. You might consider getting him a wrist band to tell people of his allergy and putting labels on all his food containers.

http://www.mabelslabels.com/products/Allergy%20Alert%20La...

http://store.allermates.com/

Be it this facility or another one or his elementary school, you need to take extra steps if his allergy is that bad. My DD can't have apples, but she still once had apple juice when SHE didn't follow protocol and sit in her assigned seat (if the kid has an allergy, the teachers put down a name tag at their seat and the kids are supposed to only sit there - she sat down somewhere else and drank someone else's juice). But my DD only gets tummy upset. She doesn't need an epipen.

So the long and short is what can they do in the future and do you feel comfortable they can handle this or do you need to find different care? I bet they feel terrible and if they don't, DEFINITELY time to move him to a peanut free center (which is more and more common these days).

I'm surprised that they give PB to anyone! I will say removing him probably isn't necessary, since they're never going to make that mistake again! But I would put a formal complaint in writing, documenting exactly what happened and that protocol was not followed, that they endangered your son's life, and I'd pass along the ER bill. I doubt they'd pay it - I suppose you could sue, but I wouldn't - but it sure would make a memorable statement to them to see what stress, risk, and cost they caused for your family.

I think that you need to have a sit down with the director. It should be posted in several places that your son is allergic to nuts and he is not to have them.

IF you do not have a note from the doc they do not have to do anything. You must provide a doc's note for them to give him a different snack. That's just the way it is. Unless it's diagnosed and a doc has written an order they don't have any official notification.

I could go to a child care center and say my kid was allergic to all sorts of things but unless a doc sends a written note they do not have to honor my request. A doc's order trumps all discussion about it.

So, if you have a doc's note in his file this center should cover his medical bill. They know this and so do you. In all honesty, how do you feel about this teacher now. Are you going to hang on to the anger and frustration about this? I would have a hard time letting it go.

I would tell her in great detail what happened, each and every single thing so she could experience exactly what happened to him. This "picture" she will get in her brain will be there for a very long time and I doubt she'll ever allow peanut butter around him again.

I suggest you address this totally otherwise with the director. This teacher, by not adhering to the doc's orders, if there are any, risked your son's life and by doing this put this child care center at risk of a lawsuit. This is not one of those things that can be allowed to slip by un-addressed.

Everyone has pretty much addressed the emotional side of this, so I'll just address the medical side. You say you "suspect" he has the allergy...nowhere do you say he's actually been tested. Neither vomiting or fever are symptoms of a food allergy, generally.

Not to say that he isn't allergic...you insist he had a very (very) delayed reaction. I wonder if his delayed reaction, however, was brought on by stress because he was in the ER, you were obviously outraged, he might have thought he did something wrong by eating without asking what was in it, etc...and yes, stress can cause hives and shortness of breath.

My recommendation would be to actually have testing done. Then you can provide your daycare with his results and perhaps they will take you more seriously...or consider a place with a better quality staff.

Sorry to not be so sympathetic, but I have a child with CD and I take food stuff very seriously...and you haven't even bothered to have your child tested.

If my kid was allergic to peanuts I'd send him to a preschool that is nut free. Most are these days - and even if not, they don't serve peanut butter as a snack. I think it's odd.

I'd look around for somewhere nut free or pack his snacks everyday. It sounds like his allergy is severe but not life threatening (thank god). Never mind, just saw the SWH. Otherwise he'd have a reaction from just touching the residue or breathing it in.

I'd tell the director that nuts should be kept of his classroom or they will lose your business.

Good luck!

My son's daycare went to a no peanut policy. It sounds like your should do the same. I would talk to the director and ask if that was an option. No only for your son but for others that may come.

My son's daycare used sunbutter. It was made from sunflower seeds. None of the kids minded it.

This is not acceptable. If it was on his forms, then it's daycare's job for everyone to know about it. I work in an elementary school as a teaching assistant, and in every classroom I've been in, I've known the allergies of all the kids, and clearly the teacher/s and any other TA's or aides knew too. In my six years in this school, I have never seen a mistake. Heck, their allergies are listed next to their names on the online attendance that we must do daily.
I know that these teachers are your colleagues, but the director must know about this

I am suprised that daycares still allow peanuts in them??? My sons room even went gluten free for him. We are dye free, gluten free and chocolate free. I was willing to supply his Pretzles etc.. but they could not allow them the way the policy was set up.

Some people do not know that thier child is or is not allergic to them, if they have never provided it to them. THat happened to me with chocolate, I never and still have never given my son chocolate. I was shocked that the daycare gave 2 year olds chocolate..(okay maybe I am the food natzi) My son came home and was mean, and boucning everywhere. I told them at that time DO NOT give it to him. THey did agian, I was mad because this time he hit a few friends-it was unprovoked per the daycare, I told them it was by thier stupidity of giving him chocolate.

With all the allergies in this world, it is hard.

Talk to them nicely, but firmly express the importance of not letting him ingest any peanut products whatsoever. Tell them what the reaction was at the hospital and how it could be worse next time. Make sure you talk individually to each teacher that's ever in the classroom and that could ever be responsible for passing out snacks. Tell them they have to give your son an alternate snack and he absolutely cannot have peanuts.

Vomiting IS a serious reaction and is often among the first reactions, with others coming later. My son vomits any time he ingests cow's milk, even the slightest bit of it. He also gets hives and, depending on the amount ingested, may wheeze as well. He's never eaten a nut (though repeated tests show he's allergic), so we don't know how he'd react.