My granddaughter has an epi-pen because she's allergic to peanuts. Fortunately she's not had a reaction to peanuts but still she needs to have the epi-pen. It was scary at first. It was difficult to convince the insurance company that we needed several pens but they did eventually provide them and have continued to do so over the years.
Her mother has left a pen with the school, with her day care provider, and with me. She sends one with her to camp. My granddaughter now knows how to use the pen, also. At 6 your daughter could also learn. Her mother carries hers in her purse along with an assortment of other medications needed for her family. My granddaughter also has asthma and that requires a rescue inhaler at all those places also.
The school will know what to do with the epi-pen. 8 children in my daughter's school has an epi-pen in the office. Anyone that is a professional and deals with children will not be concerned. Having an epi-pen is a fact of life now a days.
My daughter does not send an epi-pen with her daughter on play dates. She does tell the mother that she is allergic to peanuts and that she has asthma and if the play date if for overnight sends the rescue inhaler. she gives the mother both her phone numbers and mine to use in case of an asthma attack. A couple of times mothers have called because Monet started wheezing. One of us took our inhaler to her.
It feels so serious at the beginning but gradually you'll get used to it and giving the other adult information and the epi-pen will be routine.
You're now facing the worst case scenerio. But keep in mind that the worst case is not apt to happen. She may get stung by a bee and have a reaction but it's most likely that the reaction will not be life threatening. Yes, it can be life threatening but it also doesn't have to be. If you can keep that balance in mind it will help.
It's helped me to have dealt with many emergency situations as a professional to see how seldom the worst case scenerio happens. It's also helped me to have had the experience of having an anaphylactic shock reaction to a bee sting when I was in high school. Back then, they didn't have epi-pens. I was told that I could die with another bee sting and that I should head for the nearest hospital anytime I was stung without waiting to see if I had a reaction. I didn't have another bee sting until I was in my 40's. I did not have a reaction; just a bit of red swelling.
What I was told at the time of my serious reaction is that my reaction could have been caused by whatever the bee had last rested on and not by the venom its self. This could also be the case with your daughter. The bees that stung me (I was stung twice in the same day) came from a hive placed in a field.
My grandchildren who are now 6 and 9 have only been stung once. I mean one of them was stung once and one not at all. They both play outside in bare feet. Your daughter may not be stung again. You are going to help her recognize bees and she's going to stay away from them. It is good to have the epi-pen just in case but the possibility of getting stung should not take over your lives. Keep the epi-pen handy but don't worry about it. The possibility of getting stung on one play date is nearly non-existent.
And there is the possibility that even if she is stung again that she won't have the same reaction but I wouldn't trust that. The odds that she will have a strong reaction is higher. And if she's in the city and the person she's with knows of her history they can get her to the hospital pronto. But again, we're talking worst case scenerio.
My philosophy is to plan for the worst case scenerio and then not dwell on it. I'm sure you're feeling scared and overwhelmed. I want to assure you that your daughter will be fine. You'll gradually get used to the situation and know when to give the other adult the epi-pen and when it's OK to just tell them she's allergic to bee stings and keep her away from bees.
I might hesitate to give the other parent the epi-pen for play dates because they will be frightened by the idea and not want to have the responsibility. At the same time I might not want to take the chance and would educate the few parents who would be willing to learn. Using it is not difficult. You have to do what you feel comfortable doing.
My granddaughter has many playdates. She knows she's allergic to peanuts and is careful about what she eats. She's never had a reaction but then as far as we know she's never eaten peanuts. This make it easier for us in deciding what to do with the epi-pen. The school, day care, her parents, and I have epi-pens. That's it. And I don't carry mine with me out of the house. I think her mother does.