Anxiety About Nut Allergic Child Starting School

Updated on March 31, 2008
T.F. asks from Overland Park, KS
37 answers

I was wondering if anyone has a child with severe allergies that's nervous about sending him/her to school in the next year or two. I have a 4 year old son who is severely allergic to ALL nuts and I have learned our school district actually serves peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on the menu. I know it's inconvenient for many parents to think of an alternative lunch ( I miss nuts and peanut butter tremendously). However, it's truly a life or death issue for us and I am so terrified to send my "baby" to a place where he potentially wouldn't be safe. I am hoping to start working on this with our school, and would love some help, advice, etc. THANKS!

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R.D.

answers from Kansas City on

I think the most important thing is to EDUCATE EVERYONE he comes in contact with at the school and help/make them understand how important it is they do exactly what you and this doctor says!! Let them know the consequences! I have learned people want to help when they can. Help them help you keep him safe!

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D.H.

answers from Springfield on

My grandson has the same problem. The school has an epi-pen that my daughter bought for him. You will have to send his lunch with him. Also train him to ask if there are nuts in any food someone gives him. Best solution-homeschool-I love it. ;)
D.

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R.B.

answers from St. Louis on

Work with the school district and the school principal. It is amazing what the lunch ladies remember. My daughter is lactose intolerant and the cafeteria ladies knew she couldn't have milk and if she did they asked her if she had her lactaid. In her school they have peanut free tables, etc. The more you go in armed and ready to educate them, I have NO DOUBT a good school will be willing to work with you.

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B.W.

answers from Kansas City on

There are many allergies out there--and intolerances and diseases like diabetes, celtic disorder etc, and the schools cannot accomidate all or there would be no food in the cafeteria...however they are responsible for the saftey of your child. Information to the school and an epi pen in the nurses office is a must. The second must is informing your child. They know. A freind of my ODD's was diabetic, and at 5 she could read a lable and tell if an item had to much "sugar" for her. You won't have a problem till he is about 12, when he decided he doens't want to be different in any way....and might push the envelope. You can't expect as one poster said for others to change thier ways for your son, but you can expect saftey for him at school. If even being in a room with nuts is bad for him...the school will accomidate him - even if it means not eating with other kids - and making sure it isn't in the room at parties. It might mean he is stuck in one room for the party but then again he has the allergy and will have to learn his own saftey as he becomes an adult. It is sad for him - but then again maybe they can do a buddy thing like another poster mentioned???? What a way to make new friends.

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C.S.

answers from Kansas City on

Hi T.,

I am in the same boat! I did send my son to pre-school at Stepping Stones and it is a peanut FREE school! Which was great! but he will be going to K next year and he is highly allergic to peanuts. I am also allergic to all nuts (except peanuts) so we are a nut free house. The only thing I can suggest is to really teach your son about his allergies and make sure his teacher knows and everyone else in the school. My son will ask me before he eats anything! Even if a friend offers him a piece of chewing gum! I'm afraid once they go to school though we are going to have to be that over protective parent that tells everyone about there allergies. It is a very common allergy so I'm sure we wont be the only ones! Good Luck!

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S.P.

answers from Kansas City on

My oldest daughter was severly allergic to eggs, dairy, citrus and nuts. And yes, it was frightening to send her off to the care of others who weren't totally tuned in. But she's 24 now, and she made it through fine. People really do care but you have to be extra vigilent. Here's my advice:

(1) start training your kid to ASK ASK ASK "are there nuts in this? I can't eat nuts." He needs to say that to EVERYTHING.

(2) meet with ALL the teachers, aids, school nurse, principal, EVERYONE, even the manager of the school cafeteria. Make sure everyone knows just how serious a reaction could be. Leave them with a written list of allergies and instructions.

(3) Give an epi-pen or benedryl (whatever your doctor suggests) to the school nurse and the teacher.

(4) If your school asks parents to provide snacks, make sure you give your school plenty of snack food to give your son if the brought snack contains nuts.

(5) Before a school event or party, remind the teacher that your son is allergic.

In short, you have to be vigilent until you are POSITIVE that your child's teacher is on top of it, and until your son is old enough to monitor this himself.

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A.W.

answers from Joplin on

I worked at a preschool an we had a little girl that came there an she had an allergy of strawberrys. Here mom found her a braclet that some pharmacies may carry or find on line some where. It is a allergy braclet but hers had the strawberry shortcake on it her name an of course her allergy. She was only three at the time going there but her mother really had her informed on the importance of known why she can not have strawberries. I suggest to really talk to your son not to choose the PB&J off the menu and really inform the teacher so when they do take account for lunches.. But I do agree with talking to your doctor for the epipen to keep at school the nurses and teachers there should already be aware on how to use this. We keep on at the school for my oldest due to allergies to bees... It is scary going through with your kids with an allergy stay strong..

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H.H.

answers from Kansas City on

my son has a child in his class that has severe allergies to peanuts. The kids in his class can't bring anything with nuts to school for snack and since there have been several cases in our school district with this allergy there are no longer peanut butter sandwiches served for lunch anymore. They are serving sunbutter and jelly sandwiches now. You may suggest this to your school district as other school districts have switched to these sandwiches. Your son is probably not the only one with severe peanut allergies. This is becoming more common than you may think.

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P.B.

answers from St. Louis on

Hi T., There is a preschool in the city, St. Stephen Protomaryter Early Child Development and Preschool. It is allergy free and wonderful. Both of my children have gone there. The facalty is fabulous. They are posted on this site so you can read some reviews. The link is http://www.mamasource.com/business/5609717538188427265

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S.M.

answers from St. Louis on

Most schools now actually have a peanut free alternative menu. You should ask the school about peanut free menu items and whether PB&J prep is done near or around the alleged peanut-free foods.
Your other alternative is to have him bring his lunch. He & his teacher also need to be aware he can't have any foods made with or prepared near anything with peanuts.
Our classes send home notes to parents at the beginning of the school-year, stating that one or more children in the class have peanut allergies, so theirs is a Peanut-Free Classroom.
Last, but not least, if you son's doctor has issued an epi-pen for allergic emergencies, get one for the school nurse and make sure the teacher & office staff are aware of this, where it is located and how to use it if the nurse is out.
Talk to your pediatrician. You are not alone and many of these issues have already been addressed and I'm certain they have plenty of info.
Good luck!

S.L.

answers from Kansas City on

Is there any possibility of homeschooling or finding a very small private school? I cared for a child for over a year that was allergic to nuts and had an eppy pen with her just in case. On those days we never served peanut butter or cooked with peanuts and we tried to never buy things that said it was made in a factory where peanuts are processed. We read all menus all the time. But it was nerve wracking to think about what if??? What if one of the other kids had something forbidden in their pocket from home? I have birds. I even worried if the child would steal some of my birds food that has nuts in it.

It wasn't all that bad. The child was very vigilant. She knew what she could have and what she couldn't. If I started to reach for something she couldn't have because I forgot she was there she would remind me. She was part-time.

If I were you I'd want her in a place where the people will be understanding of just how important it is to safeguard the child's health. But can the school tell the other parents not to send peanut butter? Has your child had a reaction that they would remember? This child was served the wrong cereal by a grandparent and it was enough of a reaction to cause the child to be very careful.

Suzi

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T.R.

answers from Wichita on

Our schools here have got it set up that they do not allow any nuts let alone peanut butter in the schools. There are a lot of kids very allergic to nuts, and smelling them even will set them off. I am not sure how they have done it, but maybe talking to your Dr or even the health department might give you some help. My daughter has ashtma, and is very allergic to any animal with hair. The school has been very helpful on keeping away from animals that set her off.

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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

my son also is allergic to peanut. His school district uses sunbutter exclusively.
when he started school, I conferenced with both the teachers & the school nurse. This has carried him thru (age 11) very well. When it's time for special snacks/parties, I simply send a reminder to the teachers. The level of cooperation has been phenomenal, & the most important aspect of this has been the realization that our family is not an isolated case. The school district deals with this regularly & has a game plan in place. Trust & faith!

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C.M.

answers from Kansas City on

You should talk to the school. The sandwhiches are packaged somewhere else and not made there at the school. Then at least at my daughters schools they have had a special table that was for people with peanut allergies. So that no peanut products ever even touch the table. But honestly you should talk to them in advance to make sue that efforts are put into place.

C. M

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S.C.

answers from Kansas City on

Got to Dr. Clarke in Olathe. He will get rid of the allergy! He has gotten rid of our food allergies! He has treated both of my sons and myself! I don't have to worry about what I feed the boys anymore!

13849 S Mur-Len Rd Ste. E
Olathe, KS 66062
###-###-####

Happy eating nuts again!!!

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E.M.

answers from Kansas City on

The only thing I can think of is to make his lunch and send it with him. My son is allergic to peanuts but our school district is peanut free (thank god!. We are in the Platte County School District whick is smaller than most others around here. I guess educating the school system but that could take years for them to change with funding issues and what not. Our schools use sunflower butter instead. I hope that helps you out! E.

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D.L.

answers from Topeka on

Get in touch with FAAN(Food Allergy and Anaphylaxis Network) and see what suggestions they can give you. They can help you with the school and possibly get you in touch with other parents to help relieve your worries. Just google them.

Good luck,
D.

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J.T.

answers from Cedar Rapids on

I would talk to the school and make sure they know. I know the elementary school I attended now is a peanut free school because there are 2 kids with the peanut allergy. It a huge liability for them because if the peanut butter comes in contact with anything your child eats is could be serious and I'm sure they are not going to want that potential law suit. Good luck to you.

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B.H.

answers from St. Louis on

I understand what you are experiencing, i took care of a little boy that was the same way. When he went to pre school they had a parent night and they gave out snacks, his mother was right by his side, when before she knew it a fellow student passed out peanut butter crackers and immediately her little boys throat began to swell. She always carried an ephipen with her in almost every bag and with her at all time.She quickly broke the pen and injected it into him. I would just stress to the school and of course have the doctor write a detailed note for explanation on how so very important this is. If you don't have a few ephipens I would get them and give one to his homeroom teacher and leave one in his back pack. They are very helpful.

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S.C.

answers from Kansas City on

I used to be a teacher and even 7 years ago the peanut allergy was common. There is usually a food allergy table in the cafeteria where kids sit. They are not ostracized or off in a corner. The school where I taught had the lunch helpers (adults) wipe down the tables with a bleach and water solution after each class had lunch. You may want to request to have and IEP with the OHI descriptor. An OHI is ... Other Health Impairment. This would spell out excatly what your childs needs are with this allergy, and the neeeded modifications. You also have to be aware of classroom parties and snacks. As you know many baked good mixes have the nut allergy warning on the box, as well has candy being brought in during Halloween and Easter. (Those times of the year typically produce more peanut butter type candy). Having the IEP would LEGALLY bind the school to protecting your child. An IEP is a legal docuement that must be honored. There is also another avenue that you could try is Section 504. hopefully, these suggestions help ease your worries. I did have kids in rooms with food allergies, and I always took care of them, and double checked at lunch to see what the others where eating around them. You could also call the Central Office of the school district and ask them what precautions the schools take, and what you need to do, physician documentation of the severity to ensure his safety.

Good Luck, hope this helps

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S.F.

answers from Kansas City on

I don't have any suggestions for sending him to school but it looks like you have a lot of great advice from the other moms. However I sell a product called Wildtree (www.stacyflynn.mywildtree.com) and we sell an all natural food line that is completley Peanut Free. Our Founder of the company has a peanut allergy so she just doesn't use them in or even in the facility our products are made in. If you are looking for a line of products that you don't have to worry about that this is a great company to check into. The only product that I know we have that has had any kind of nut is our Basil Pesto and she explained they do a thourogh washing in between batches when any nut is used in our line. Of course even though we may have other nuts occasionally we will never have peanuts. I hope this helps you out in another way than your question and good luck I know how hard it must be for you we have a nephew show signs of the peanut allergy at around 1 and found he has a very severe peanut allergy and we have to be extremly careful at family gatherings now.

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S.D.

answers from Wichita on

i can tell you from experience you will proablly want to ask your dr for the allergy shot for the school to have handy if he is exposed to nuts i cant think of the name of it but your dr should know and ask to speak to the school nurse and make sure your childs teacher knows everyone from the principal down should know

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L.G.

answers from St. Louis on

I work for a school district as a paraprofessional. When your child starts school, you can specify that they have this allergy and they will make sure your child does not come in contact with any kind of nuts. At our school we have a special table in the cafeteria that only "allergy students" sit at. We make sure that these children are kept away from other lunch box students. Most schools are more than willingy to make changes for students with special needs. I am also a mother of 3 sons, 2 on the Austim spectrum. I know how you feel about making sure your childs needs are met.

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R.L.

answers from St. Louis on

At our school, when someone in the classromm has a nut allergy, there is a sign posted on the classroom door saying that it is a nut-free classroom.

In the cafeteria, there is a designated nut-free table.

If someone was so allergic that even having nuts in the same room was a problem, I'm guessing you would have to consult the school about that.

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C.G.

answers from Columbia on

Depending on how severe the allergy is, you may want to request that his room, or even school, is nut free. This is a very reasonable request, especially his classroom. I worked at a large child development center where there was a sign on the door that said it was a peanut free building. NO peanuts allowed inside. Everyone was ok with this--no complaints and everyone understood that it was for the safety of the kids. You could also make sure that all of the parents in his class know that he cannot have nuts of any kind so that when they bring in special snacks, they know ahead of time.

I'm sure you know this, but make sure that ALL his teachers AND subs know about his EpiPen (if he has one) and the plan of action if he does get sick. They should have a sheet posted in the room that explains everything someone would need to know about the allergy and what the action plan is if they need it. This way, any subs or parents who may have contact with him will know the precautions.

As you probably already are, make sure you discuss this with the school way ahead of time so they have time to make a plan and hopefully change some menu's and policies about bringing nuts into the school. You never know, you may be helping out other kids with nut allergies in the school as well!

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J.N.

answers from Wichita on

My brother is allergic to peanuts. We found out he was allergic when he was about 2 (he's almost 19 now) when he had a peanut butter sandwich in daycare. His face swelled up and one eye was closed and the other was almost closed. My mom rushed him to the ER and the idiotic doctor said it was probably a virus. My mom refused to accept his diagnosis and took him to an allergist who said he was allergic to peanuts. We got rid of all peanut products in the house and my mom informed the daycare not to feed him anything with peanuts. Well, they forgot one day and my brother broke out again. My mom took him out of that daycare and found a woman who ran a daycare in her home. The woman was very good about not having peanuts in her house. She had a teaching degree so my mom decided to have my brother homeschooled at the daycare when he was old enough to start elementary school. She wanted him homeschooled for a few years till he was old enough to understand that he had to say no to anyone (classmate or adult) who would offer/force him to eat anything with peanuts. She had read a story about a room parent who had forced a student to eat a cookie and that kid died. You can contact my mom for more info if you would like.

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J.B.

answers from St. Louis on

Did you happen to watch the Celebrity Apprentice? Trace Adkins was on there for a food allergy charity, I cannot remember the name. His daughter is severly allergic to lots of stuff. One of the things that his wife talked about was education for anyone that would be around his daughter. Maybe if you do an internet search you can find more info. Talk to your child's docotr or allergist, that is part of their job to help educate you about health issues. Maybe also check with you county health department to see if they have any resources or info.

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S.D.

answers from Topeka on

I would be nervous to my son goes to preschool,but there are some things you can do let the scool know especially the teacher write a letter and have them keep it in his file and copy one for the school nurse and see if she can keep it in her file too and buy him a medical bracelet or necklace that clearly states his allergy,have you asked the DR about an epi pen or something that will help with the affects of the allergy for school just in case he comes in contact with his food allegy triggers.However I don't think you would be able to change the school lunch menu,you may need to provide him everyday with his own lunch that would be a safer approach to his allegy.I know that alot of oil's even in restaraunts use peanut oil,see what oils they use if they use them at all.Allegies are a huge issue I have to becarful when I fix something and take to my lil sis she is allergic to nuts I have to tell her not to eat it.

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M.W.

answers from Columbia on

Hi T....I am only the aunt of a SEVERELY allergic nephew and it's just not nuts, it's over 350 different things! Suffice it to say we've learned a few things....please take what might work for you. Meet with the cafeteria folks and make them aware of your child's needs (a laminated sign with his picture, list of allergies/alternatives and your contact number is a great resource to provide to them and your teacher, schoool nurse, etc.). Too, some folks can breath in "nut air" and have a reaction...so be sure to say if the allergy is inhaled and/or injested. Make sure to provide a "allergy response" card to your son's teacher, principal, nurse, etc...this will include the symptoms to look for, what you (as mom) want done...do they call an ambulance, administer an epie shot, call you, etc. Detail this out, so there are no questions from either party. Also, because this is his life, teach your son what he needs to know to manage his condition. My nephew knows the onset symptoms, can give himself a shot and he knows he's got 15 minutes to get to the emergency room before anphyalitic (sp?) shock sets in. My brother and sister-in-law are both paramedics, so he's got some good "coverage" while his parents are at work...but this is a SCARY thing for a parent. You've got to educate, watch the school menus, talk to the other parents in the class because they will bring candy/food that could potentially harm him....it's a lot of effort, but I know your boy is worth it!!! Hugs!

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S.W.

answers from St. Louis on

T.,

I don't have a child with allergies, but this was the first year of school for my oldest. Before school started we were sent a packet and it asked about allergies and what they were. If a child in our school has an allergy then they do everything they can to work with that child and family. As a side note, we do have a friend in the school that has a severe nut allergy and she has never had a problem at school, they have worked closely with the school and everything has worked out. We also go to church with this family and in all the Sunday school rooms there are notes posted that there is a child with an allergy to peanuts and what snacks are OK. Our church has made it a habit to always serve peanut allergy friendly snacks to all the kids so we never have to worry about an accident with the one child with the allergy or any that may visit and we don't know about. Work with your school and I'm sure everything will be fine.

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C.D.

answers from St. Louis on

Hi T., I personally don't have this problem,but he school that my kids attend won't allow nuts or peanutbutter products if the children are allergic,I'm pretty sure. We even had a girl who has chocolate allergies. The school staff flipped out and wouldn't allow anything chocolate even the milk, until the mother clarified that it was only dark chocolate she couldn't have. My advice would be to make sure and double check them that they know how severe your child is to nuts. Check their menus if you can. Let them know it is a life or death situation with you. Many schools that I have heard will go with the parents on the quest to iliminate allergens so children can attend.I hope I'm not wrong on this. But when you do sign him up, put it in bold that your son has allergies and just how severe they are.Maybe you will be lucky and they will take t off the menu for you. I want to say best of luck to you and I hope some of this will help you out in the long run.

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D.M.

answers from St. Louis on

My son's best friend is allergic to nuts and my son's favorite food is peanut butter. So I know what it is like to be afraid his friend might come in contact at my house or at school. His mother and I take turns going to school parties and checking the snacks. Most schools now have nut free areas at lunch and I know our childrens teachers have been great. Everyone he is with has an epipen and know how to use it. The best thing my friend has done was teaching her son things to stay away from and to look at ingredients or have an adult read the ingredient before he eats anything. I know it is nerve racking enough to sent your baby to school for the first, allergy or not. But if you make sure everyone knows about his allergy evenually you will start to relax a little. My friend sons is 7 and he handles his allergy himself now. My friend told me the best thing she ever did though was to teach him that when it comes to adults pushing food on him he is allowed to stand up to them and say no. The only time he ever had a serious reaction was when he ate a donut the had touched one with nuts because he was little and and adult kept telling him to eat it.

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A.H.

answers from Topeka on

Sounds like you've gotten a lot of good advice so I'll try to keep this short. I teach 7th grade Health and a couple of years ago I had a student come through with a severe allergy to peanuts. I could have nothing in my classroom, including in the trash, having to do with peanuts. On the couple of times I forgot, I had the custodians come take out the trash (I threw a Snickers wrapper in there), and went and brushed my teeth and washed my hands (after I ate a no-bake cookie with peanut butter in it). I had a paper from the nurse explaining exactly what could happen and exactly what to do. The paper had to be readily available for if a sub was there, also. They had an epi-pen for him in the office. At lunch, he just knew who he could sit with (again, it was 7th grade). On the occasions where the school served PB&J, he got to sit in a conference room and take a few friends in there with him. Good luck!

D.H.

answers from Kansas City on

Our school district is very sensitive to peanut allergies...my daughter had a boy in her class since she started school here with a severe peanut allergy. Our school also serves PB sandwiches as a fourth or fifth choice. They have a special table for the allergy students to sit at everyday so thier peers can bring PB sanwiches (and they sit with a friend who is chosen by the student or teacher each week, so they know not to bring PB sandwiches). They even post a sign outside the classrom that says Peanut Allergy Zone, so parents and students know. They also make sure that nothing is brought at parties that could harm him. The school districts now are very aware of allergies and do everthing in their power to protect those with them. As long as the school knows then he'll be okay. Oh, and all his teachers had an epi pen in their rooms as well as the lunch staff just in case and they are trained how to use them.

On a side note...I went to a pre-school conference and one of the booths was for SoyNutButter for those with peanut allergies. It is a PeanutButter alternative and was very tasty. I love PB and this stuff was really good. Go to www.soynutbutter.com to order or check it out. They also make really big tubs for schools to purchase. It's all Peanut free for those with peanut allergies. So he can have his sandwich and eat it too. God Bless.

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S.D.

answers from Kansas City on

My 11yr old son does not have an allergy to nuts but he did go to elementary school k-5 with a boy that did and the school was great about it and I think you will find that the school your son attends will have great ideas to avoid any incidences! I know that the boy had a special table at lunch and any kid that sat with him could not have any type of nuts or pbj sandwich in their lunch. When my son had him in class (cuz he didn't every year) the entire class had to wash their hands every morning and after every lunch before they entered the classroom . And the school had the boys picture in all of the bathrooms with a statement about his severe nut allergy. I know you want to protect him but don't worry I'm sure he will be fine. I will tell you this though-the boy my son went to school with thought he was so special and better then other kids because his parents made such a fuss over him and his nut allergy that the other kids made fun of him alot-they called him peanut boy--so be sure to let your son know he is just like everyone else--he just can't have nuts :) Oh yeah before each school year if my son had class with the boy we would always get a letter from that class to let us know about the boys allergies and what snacks were appropriate to bring---good luck---I am sure the school will be very helpful to your family!

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H.S.

answers from St. Louis on

I feel your pain. My 5 year old is about to start school in August and he has a peanut/egg/milk allergy. I know in the Fort Zumwalt district we had to fill the kindergarten registration and that food allergies was one of the questions asked. Another item I found to alleve my concerns was the fact that the school requested that parents do not send baked goods to school for snacks.

Next week Tyler is going in for his kindergarten screening. That tests his motor coordination and etc. I hope to ask more questions on Friday. Will let you know what I've found out.

We have had many discussions with his pediatric allergist and the concensus was to perform a tolerance test in the hospital. So a week before school starts we are admitting Tyler into the hospital and giving him peanut butter to gage his reaction (he gets a rash when he is exposed to milk or eggs - so no testing for that). We are rather anxious about the whole thing.

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A.Z.

answers from Wichita on

the apprentice last night was a good show for this and has given me new hope. if you didnt watch the end you need too. trace adkins charity was for kids with allerigies to food and his daughter has it. his wife actually went into the class and got to educate the class room. i didnt write down the website but there is one that is kids friendly with coloring pages that will help educate the kids in the class room. my son can eat peanuts but not tree nuts. and almost everything is processed in a plant the has tree nuts. all my other kids were in preschool by the time they were 3 but i thought long and had about it and decided to keep him home this year he is 4 now, and so despertly wants to go to school like his sibblings. i have found preschools that will watch everything he eats and will also send notes home to parents to let them know also. when he enters kdg. i will make sure they know what to do and also see if they will educate the class.

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