S.H.
Deanna Leigh made some great points.
Sometimes, Men can get post-partum depression too... and this is the way they can get or the way it is manifested. And, sometimes they just burn-out on the baby and all the demands. They don't have the patience or the stamina as women/Moms do. For Moms, we dont' have a choice....for some men, they feel they don't "have to" be around or available all the time for baby or the Wife.
Yes, and he is working all day, you are home... "resentment" can crop up.
Once in awhile, my hubby gets a little resentful too. I am a SAHM for the past 6 years. But when he is calm, he knows darn well that he is GLAD I am home raising our kids myself. And he tells me.
You can show him this posting... and the responses you get back on it.
The thing is, "Parenting" is not a "hobby" you can just do whenever you "feel" like it. There is no choice... a child needs constant care, 24/7. A child is not a "toy" you just take out when YOU want to play with it, and then walk away when you are fed up or bored. Some men, are STILL adjusting to all of these "demands" upon them... and they simply cannot adjust. For men, just vegging out watching TV, is an "escape" from stress.
BUT HE HAS TO UNDERSTAND... that he has to take care of his WIFE too, and SHE has every right to take a break and go out by herself too.
He is being sarcastic to you... it shows that he is either frustrated, angry, resentful, or simply being "defensive" because he knows you are right... but he can't cope. He sounds burnt-out.
Does he even get a chance to go out on his own, or with his friends? Its okay if he does this... but he must ask you first. It's only fair. Likewise, you MUST also have the chance to have "alone" time too. BUT, being a Mom does not allow time for that. It is the way it is. But, so you have to make time... mark your calendar... tell him ahead of time... and make plans for yourself.
However, it is NOT okay that he insults your ability as a Mom. Tell him this. That is NOT cool. How derogatory that is. Tell him... in a stern, calm, upstanding way. But don't argue about it. Just state it. You HAVE TO display your "boundaries" too.
The bottom line is, his behavior is not acceptable... he is now a "Dad" and a "Husband." If he feels left out... then that is fine, but he cannot take it out on you or HIS baby. That is simply immature and selfish. Uncool.
If he cannot handle his role as a "Dad" and as a Husband...well he can express that, or maybe he feels insecure about it all too. It's okay. But, he is being hostile to you now, AND THE BABY TOO. And he has to step up to the plate. EVERYONE in the household has responsibilities... no one is exempt.
He is ignoring the baby and you. That is being negligent.
If he does not or cannot cope or improve, I suggest counseling or Parenting classes for him. He is copping out, on his family. Plain and simple.
Some men "regress" once they have a baby, and get childish themselves. He may feel resentful toward you ALSO because HE is not getting any attention. THIS is also something that men feel. With being a Mom...often times the Hubby gets lost in the loop too. They don't understand all that we do... and all they know is their "wife" is not there for them anymore... or WITH them anymore, and is always "busy" with the baby. So, if this is the case, sit down and talk it out. BUT, he has to understand this, truly. A Wife and Mother has a LOT on her plate... and mainly it is about "pleasing" everyone else, except themselves. So, you need a respite too. It's only fair.
Good luck,
Susan