Rad - Cincinnati,OH

I have a RAD daughter, she was treated but never really got better. If there is some intervention while the child is young, there is often a good result, but we never knew what was wrong with this child until she was ten, so even though she is fragilly attached, her wierd behaviors continue into adulthood. Now they call it borderline personality disorder.

I read the one answer you recieved and wanted to say that it is NOT necessarily the fault of a non-caring mother. My daughter was adopted and her disorder was probably caused by repeated breaks, but I know of other unattached children who had loving caring mothers who did all they could and still the child failed to attach.

There is tons of information out there on RAD, a good place to start is ATN.com Attachment and Trauma Network.

You mean reactive attachment disorder?

It usually occurs when a child was neglected and did not form normal "bonding" with a parent or primary caregiver, etc.

A friend of a friend's child is like that. The Mom, was a sort of cold/aloof/distant Mom who had real hard expectations on her baby/child. The child displayed some RAD, which I noticed. The Mom, did not grow up with a stable parent or family... and was adopted herself. The family was basically dysfunctional and not real attentive toward the child nor had any parenting skills etc.
Beyond that, I don't know what the treatment is, for a child like that.

I baby sat a baby with some marginal symptoms of RAD before. It was sad. The Mom was not real in touch with her baby and was not maternal at all, and her baby was starting to display some symptoms of it. I did not know the baby for a long time... but some say that she is still sort of not normal.

(adding this): I did not mean nor intended to infer that it is always the fault of the Mom or parenting. It is just the very minimal information that I do know about it... and in the specific cases of the 2 children I mentioned above.

All the best,
Susan

http://www.radkid.org/

I live in the Cincinnati area and have a neice that I have physical custody and legal guardianship of. She was diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder when she was 10, after living with me for 1 1/2 years. She has been in effective treatment for the last 1 1/2 years. Not that we still don't have our problems, by far. But usually RAD doesn't get diagnosed by itself.

Attachment Disorder is caused by a problem bonding in the first couple years of life. I have four adopted cousins and an adopted friend who were diagnosed with it, and I grew up living next door to these cousins and watching their behaviors and their struggles.

Children learn to bond very early on - even as early as within their first weeks of life. When they are not taught to bond properly, or they learn to bond only to have that bond shattered, they can (although not all do) develop Attachment Disorder. The symptoms may include (but are not limited to) violence toward family, lying and stealing, developing inappropriate relationships, or an inability to feel empathy (to put oneself in another's shoes). Early intervention is very important, although not all RAD children can be emotionally healed. Sadly, adoptive parents cannot "love" their children well, and there is no instant fix, but many RAD children do grow up to live normal lives if they get into therapy early. It is a difficult diagnosis if it is true, and I wish you the best of luck.

Please find a dr/therapist who is positive about healing. (some will say this diagnosis is hopeless) Nothing is perfect in this life, but relationships and healing are possible. It will take incredible persistance on your part and a thick skin, but it's worth it. Don't give up.