Question for My Cousin

The best thing about your post is that your cousin does have a little angst about telling her parents - and she's 24! I'm just curious why she is so freaked out about this.... are her parents paying for college? Are they not close? Terribly strict? Possibly foreign - not the same American values that their daughter has????

She seems like she has been semi-responsible up to this point in her life, so, like everything else she has done, she needs to step up to the plate and tell them face-to-face and (carefully). I say "semi" because, it sounds like her choice of men may be shaky too. Her choice of birth control or lack of it may be concerning too. Yes, her parents may be upset, and rightfully so. She has veered from the path that she was on. Big changes ahead.

Regarding "the dad"...... again, the parents rightfully may be disappointed because, she not ONLY is in college getting her Masters but she's seeing someone who "is a student" and they are "not in the best relationship".... REALLY! Cut the parents some slack. There's always potential to seek counseling but I really hope that her choice to correct this situation doesn't involve marrying someone who she is not totally committed to. Hopefully her parents will offer her some guidance and support once she tells them and the shock wears off.

As a cousin and good friend, it sounds like you will be able to offer her support as well, which is just what she will need in the months ahead. Maybe coming along when she tells them, will serve as a buffer and could be a help. Bring homemade cookies or your twin boys... anything to cause a distraction!

Good luck.

Well, for sure she should do it face to face. But I also don't see the big problem. Are her parents really conservative? It's not like she's 16 or something. She's an adult and obviously knows her options and responsibilities. If she thinks her parents might flip out maybe you could offer to go with her?

I don't think this is such a big deal personally. What is she in school for? She should move out and grow up if she wants to bring a baby into the world. SHe is 24! Many women are married and have children by then and are responsible adults. Does she want to benefit from her parents' income but not coontribute? Its hard to know all the details or why this is such a concern. Does she know who the guy is? Does she not want to stay with him long term? Hope she gets someone to guide her. Good luck and good for you for being so supportive. SHe needs you a lot now.

I am disapointed in the other posts thinking this is not a big deal. The big deal is that your cousin has PARENTS, something that her child may not experience because she is 23 & not married & most importantly not in a good relationship. Lets face it having a child normally doesnt bring a couple together. The one good thing about your cousin is that she has "fear" of her parents maybe if more young adults/teens had this, there wouldnt be so many unwanted pregnancies. So just maybe she will instill this "fear" into her child so that this doesnt happen again. I just want to say that I had a baby at 17 & her father & I were together for 7 years. But maybe if I had some "fear" of my mom (my dad was never in the picture)I wouldnt have gotten pregnant. Now my daughter is 19 & in college. I talk to her all the time about getting pregnant & let her know that I would be very dissapointed in her. 40% of pregnant woman are unwed, we have a duty as parents to stop this. It has been way to acceptable in our society. The respectable way to break the news is for both of them to sit down with her parents.