Hello,
You all always give me the best daycare advice!!! I am having breakfast issues with one of the families I work for. They bring their three year old child to me, and soon their newborn as well. I also watch two other children in addition to their two. I am willing to give children breakfast in the am if they arrive before 8:15. After 8:30, I take the children downstairs to start our morning activities. Between 7:30 and 8:30 I feed my own children and one of the babies that I watch. The three year old comes at 9:00, sometimes closer to 9:30. She will often come saying she is hungry and has not had breakfast. I have told the parents many many times that after 8:15, I can no longer give their child breakfast. When she tells me she is hungry and has not had breakfast, I feel as though I have to bring the two other children (and soon their newborn) upstairs to feed her. I have explained this to the mom many times. She will feed her breakfast for one week and then stop once again. I can't not feed the child, it is not her fault that mom/dad will not feed her breakfast. It is just hard to have to bring everyone upstairs, while she eats. She will often tell me that they are not "breakfast people", and she will be fine! Even though the child tells me she is hungry and wants breakfast. Also, many times they will stick breakfast in a bag and want her to eat it at my house. The problem with that is 1) I do not allow the kids to eat in the playroom 2)She will get crumbs and pieces of food all over the playroom which the babies love to eat! What would you all do with this situation??
Tell the mother that you must start charging her extra if you have to feed the child after the time you set.
I disagree with the poster that says you are not being flexible enough!! You are the provider, you set the rules, you set the schedule, not the parent. If the parent dislikes any of these things they have the option to leave the daycare. They were aware of all of this before deciding that you provide care for their child. I would ask the child each day as stated below and obligate the parent to provide breakfast for their own child. Suggest getting up 1/2 an hour earlier or providing breakfast on the go. I would also set up a plan that if it happens three more times, that he/she will have to pay an extra 10.00 a day for the inconvenience. What's going to happen when mom forgets to bring formula or diapers for the baby? You are being taken advantage of...good luck!
The only thing I can think of is that when mom drops her off, with mom still standing there ask the girl if she has eaten breakfast yet. If she says no, say, "OK mom, we're not eating breakfast anymore, so I'll need you to take her upstairs and feed her before you leave". If she says that she packed a breakfast say "Great! You can feed that to her upstairs". Don't engage in an arguement, discussion, or justifying yourself. If she asks questions or trys to get out of it say "It's my rule that all kids must have breakfast and she's late for our breakfast time so I'll need you to feed her now. If you make it by 8:15 tomorrow I'll be happy to feed her." And then each and every day repeat the same process of asking - at the door - if she has eaten yet. The key to this is to find a single statement (like my "it's my rule..." sentence above) to keep saying over and over and over. Good luck!
OK...I have been doing this for some time and first and foremost, this is YOUR business in YOUR home...you set the rules. My feeling is that if a parent has unreasonable expectations, then maybe they shouldn't be looking for daycare, but maybe find a way to stay home and raise their child themselves. Do you have a set of policies? Have the parents signed contracts? If so, tell them they need to review said policies in regard to your meal times and outside food being brought in...their are rules for a reason. The minute you relax on them for one family, others will follow suit and your already busy day, just got even more hectic. Be firm and make sure parents know that she needs to eat before she comes or she won't eat until snack. (Obviously, you can give her a lil something to tide her over, but I do understand how difficult that can be! I have a similar set up to you.)
So, you just need to be firm and even explain it! I love all my kiddos like they are my own family and their parents, too! BUT, we have rules for a reason! Good luck w/ this and don't let anyone tell you that you are unreasonable! That's ridiculous! Anyone that uses you for daycare will respect you more for keeping firm w/ your rules, because that means you are also doing the same w/ those kids! (and think about it...daycare centers and schools would not allow it, why should you be any different?)
If you are downstairs, then how do you answer the door? Do you leave the kids alone and run up and let this child in?
I honestly believe you are being unreasonable. I have provided care for 25 years and it's not that difficult to give a child a snack in most any room or space. It's your job to clean up the crumbs and what difference does it make if you have to clean up the kitchen or the playroom? Ask the mom to bring a big canister of Clorox clean up wipes. Let the child have something. You could even slice up some apples or take a banana downstairs to let her have. I know you probably feel that you should feed a complete meal. But she is coming in at an odd time and you'll probably have lunch in a couple hours anyway.
This happens to me all the time. My kids come and go at all hours, 24 hours per day, 7 days per week. Inside I always chafe at the idea that a mom is on my doorstep at 10am telling me they just woke up and haven't ate breakfast. I feed lunch at 11. So I hand the child a small snack to get them through until lunch.
It is my personal opinion that most providers I have talked with are not nearly flexible enough. I know it's your job to provide activities and teach. But it's your job to meet the child's needs and that's what the parents are paying you to do. I understand these parents are taking advantage. But I've been around long enough to figure out that when some parents say they aren't breakfast people, it often means they are barely keeping enough food in the house because they are broke after paying all their bills and us. Sometimes it's something else. I've had parents worry about their child getting fat and some parents that feel they eat healthier at my house than at home. I don't care to have the constant conversations with them and try and get them to change. It's easier to just do my job and care for the child.
I am sure you clearly stated in your polices your breakfast time and the custumer should have read it and sign it, meaning she will agree and follow your guidelines. I will explain to the mom that is very inconvenient for you to feed her daughter after everybody else already had breakfast, since you have to go upstairs and take all the children with you so you can supervise them. If this doesn't work, you have the right to terminate the contract immediately without giving her 2 weeks notice.
I also have this kind of problem from time to time. Parents are in a hurry in the morning and send the kids to my door with breakfast food in their hands. I have to remind them our breakfast time is 9am, so kids should have a light breakfast at home to hold them until I serve my breakfast. Another point to remember, the other kids will want to eat when they see somebody eating, that's why we (childcare providers) try to feed the kids in our care all at the same time. The only exception I make to this rule is if a child arrives late after a doctor's appointment.
Hope this help.
A.
tell the mom (and mean it) that since she will not abide by your daycare regulations and you are forced to reconfigure your workspace on a regular basis to accommodate her, you will charge her $10 extra for each day her child arrives hungry after your breakfast cut-off time.
khairete
S.
I used to buy cereal bars and bannana's so my daughter could eat that ON THE WAY to daycare for those mornings when we were rushed. Mabey you could suggest that to the mom. Stress ON THE WAY there and explain the no eating in the playroom rule. Good Luck
You are not being unreasonable. If this was at a center based program she would be feeding her breakfast or her child would be hungry before lunch. I agree with the poster who said make sure it's in your policies and that she's signed it.
I did daycare for a long time. Parents are a pain in the butt with stuff like this. I am assuming that you do a morning snack sometime between the 7:30 breakfast and the lunch time Give her a small snack (some raisens or an apple something with no crumbs. she can eat that at the same time you give the other children snack. If I was you I might even just make up a bag of cheerios and a juice box that she can have for snack.
I would go over the policies and procedures of the daycare one more time. At that time, I would also let it be known that it is an inconvience that the child has to be fed seperately. I would also let the parents no that either they feed her at home, bring her during breakfast hours or there will be an additional weekly fee for your services. I'm sure she will definately see it your way. Good luck. Keep us posted.
When I had parents like this I would ask them if they fed their child breakfast every morning. When they said "no" I would tell them that their poor child would have to wait for snack now. (Of course I did feed the child something it was not the childs fault.) After a short time they would catch on that I was not going to give their child breakfast if it was past our breakfast time.
You are NOT beibng inflexible. I run a daycare too, but this is my HOME, and not a daycare "center". I don't allow eating in other parts of the house either. We wash our hands before meals and snacks and eat them in the kitchen. I'd once again tell Mom that you do not feed kids downstairs, and that her daughter needs to eat something BEFORE she comes. It is not that hard to feed a child a banana and a granola bar, even if it has to be on the ride over. They missed breakfast. Period.
