Am I Being Taken Advantage Of? Childcare ?

Updated on October 15, 2011
D.F. asks from Saint Peters, MO
23 answers

Mom's I need some advice. I watch children in my home and for the most part it's GREAT. However I have one family who thinks they can re-wright how things are done. I charge the $25 a day. I allow for one week of vacation (NOT PD) and 5 sick days not pd. If I take a vacation I don't expect to get pd either. I run a very tight schedule as far as breakfast/lunch/naps. Well as of last week this family has just taken their 3rd wk off and has used over 9 sick days. Before this last vacation I reminded them they needed to pay for last week. This Monday when they pd. for this week I asked about last weeks pay. Mom responded by "OH I'll pay you but I'm going to have to break it up." (She plans to take 2 wks off during christmas). Breakfast is served between 7-7:30. EVERY day they arrive at 7:50 or later, bringing the child in with food sticking her in a highchair and just leaving. By this time breakfast is done,cleaned up, and we have left the kitchen to go to the playroom. So now I have to take all the children back to the kitchen to sit and wait while this child finishes her breakfast. I have had issues in the past regarding pay and rules. I've sent papers home with the hours, rules. And yet they just seem to ignore it. If I hadn't asked about the vacation pay they would never had mentioned it. How does your provider handle this kind of behavior or if your a provider how would you deal with this family.
I really love the little girl and would hate to quit but I and my family feel I'm being walked over.

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So What Happened?

Well to start with Mom was 15 mins late picking up on thursday night. Comes in Friday morning hands me a check and says "This was very painful for me to write.This vacation cost me alot of money" She then asks if everyone else pd. for their vaction wks. I said yes. SHe starts complaining how it wasn't fair and when her 12 year old went to KinderCare they didn't have to pay. Well thanks for all the support ladies I just started telling her some of the addvice you gave me. I said I was tired of being taken advantage of and she was getting a cheap price at $25. a day. She procedes to say welll "if I have to pay in December when I'm off she'll bring the baby anyway. I said thats fine. I'm just not going to put up with this anmore and I don't have to. So tonight it's after pickup time and no call why their late. Finally dad shows up 30 mins late Says he was on the phone with a Big Important client who has a large acct. with the company. All his calls are on a cell phone. So now they owe me for two days late fees. I'm going to call them tonight and tell them they need to bring it in with mondays payment. Mom dropped off today at 8:05 sticks baby in hightchair and proceeds to say she hasn't eaten yet. Of course I'll feed her. But with tonights call I'm going to tell them if they arrive after normal meal hours I will feed the child but there will be an additional fee. I know this sounds harsh but when she put her in the chair she then says" Well I need to go home and get ready for work" mom came here in her PJS.

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K.B.

answers from San Francisco on

You've gotten great advice, I just want to suggest that you speak to her/them verbally now and don't rely on papers. Maybe they didn't read thoroughly, maybe they lost them and don't pay attention. But you need to SAY it out loud so there is no confusion about what you expect.

Good luck!

3 moms found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

You are allowing bad behavior. As long as you continue to do allow it - she will continue to do it.

great child or not - the mom is a piece of work. Tell her you need to have a talk with her today when she picks up her daughter. Be firm about the rules and tell her EXACTLY when you expect to be paid and how much.

give her the form that shows the schedule and rules. Make her re-sign a contract. Do NOT let her re-write ANYTHING...

Tell her how much her disregard for the rules throws a wrench in the schedule for the rest of the kids. And kids like schedules...if she can't conform to the schedule, she will have to find another provider.

2 moms found this helpful

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N.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

I do licensed home childcare (14 years). I am a STICKLER for policy rules. I do not have issues with payment, people abusing my opening or closing times, my breakfast cut off time (8am), etc. It just does not happen because I do not allow it. The one time someone got behind was the one time I did a county subsidized family (she had co-pays) and I was not familiar with the system itself, blah blah. In the end it only lasted about 2 mos maybe, she owed me money for the co pays (after I finally got a check from the country) and it ended ugly. Later her parents (who lived around the corner from me) paid the bill. I publicly booted her from my program. She left me no choice and it was the heat of the moment.

I would reiterate your policy...show her in your policy book with a copy of your calendar records of their absenses, etc. Do not negotiate with her. If those are the policies that you decided on and make other clients do, it is not fair to bend for this one client.

As far as the breakfast, you just HAVE to put your foot down. It is disruptive to your planned day and the day of all of the other children. No one wants to have a child be hungry, but the parents are creating the situation and its not fair to YOU. They need to make the time for their own child..either get up early enough to make sure they are there on time , or give the child a little something breakfast they can eat in the car. It should not be put on YOU to completely disrupt your morning. People who do not do daycare might not understand this as much, but I do. My playroom is downstairs. I can not leave a child unattended to eat upstairs. They do not want to eat alone. Others get bored while waiting for this one to eat, when others already ate. My playroom has carpet and I am not adding a highchair to a classroom/playroom (no room, not the right flooring, etc..just not feaseable) when this ONE parent can make sure to arrive 20 minutes earlier or feed their own child at home or on the ride over. I also do not allow parents to show up with their provided breakfast for me to feed (like a baggie of cereal or a poptart or breakfast sandwich, etc..same theory...I need to watch them at the table while they eat, etc. NO go here.) I am very strict on this. I open at 7am and breakfast cut off is 8am for me. I feed kids as they arrive.

Backbone 101!
Good Luck!

9 moms found this helpful

✤.J.

answers from Dover on

You feel like you're being walked all over BECAUSE YOU ARE. I would never have dreamed of attempting to treat a daycare provider the way you're being treated. The fact that you allow a week of vacation plus sick days is already a way better deal than most places offer. Give them a deadline for when you need the money. If they can't be bothered to pay you as previously specified in your agreement, you shouldn't watch their kid. I know you said you love her, but honestly, what's it worth to you? Imagine if they start talking to the other parents & THEY find out how this set kind of decides whether or not to pay you. How would that go over? Would they demand the same treatment? Could you afford that? It's your business & livlihood, so treat it as such.

4 moms found this helpful

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

Oohh you are in St Charles, wana watch my kids. :p I have to pay more than that and they are 10 and 12. I am of course speaking about the summer.

If I were you I would politely explain that the rules are there to protect both you and them. Perhaps even ask them how they would feel if their employer could choose when they paid them and not on a schedule. In the end you need to tell them that because of their ignoring the rules their spot is no longer guaranteed. In other words if a new client comes along they will get her spot.

If you put up with it it will continue.

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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

I bet when the mom takes vacation she still gets paid so why do they have to break up the payment? This is extremely rude and inconsiderate and it is not like they came to you first and asked you if you could work something out.
The breakfast issue is annoying too. I would tell them what you told us. Breakfast is between 7 - 7:30 so if their daughter is not at your house by then, then they should feed her before getting to your house.
I agree that you are being walked on. It just doesn't seem worth it to keep this child. How would this family like it if their employer just didn't pay them? I am afraid you may have to let them go. Good luck!

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R.M.

answers from Cumberland on

could you put the high chair in the playroom?

2 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Since they've been bad about it, insist they pay up everything they owe you before you watch their child again and from now on they will have to pay in advance - no more running a tab for them.
If they can not arrive before 7:50, them tell them they need to feed their child before dropping her off. If they want you to feed her breakfast they need to arrive at or before 7am.
If all else fails you are going to have to fire them and they will have to look for child care else where.

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B.C.

answers from Tampa on

They need to respect your time, be on time or I don't want your business. No breakfast after 7:30am, so they need to feed the child prior the drop off. Charge $1 for every minute they are late at drop off and at the pick up.

Your fees are too low.

1 mom found this helpful

⊱.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

I personally would end my services for them because they are disrespectful of the rules that you have established for your business and they have been warned repeatedly and given time to turn it around. Time for them to move on.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.T.

answers from New York on

RAther than jsut hand out papers create a contract - the basic legal reuquirements of a contract is that there's an exchange of value (called "consideration") - which in this situation is money for childcare and there must be agreement between the two parties (a "meeting of the minds"). It doesn't need to be anything fancy or formal. It needs to be in writing, dated and signed. Include all of the guidelines & requirements and what happens if they are not kept. So if children must arrive by 7:30 state what happens if they arrive late, etc. (e.g. If they don't comply more than 3 time in a month they are given a 30 day notice of termination.)

I'd have all the current parents sign the contracts - and presnt it to this problem family. that was it's enforcable.

You have a right to run your business how you want to run it and it sounds like you have a good arrangement. I have to say however, I would never have been able to use your service becuase there's no way I could have gotten my child(ren) to you by 7:30 every morning. Did you ever consider having quiet playtime until about 8:00 and then begin breakfast? Just a thought. Regardless - it's your business and if this family agreed to the terms then they should stick to it.

Good luck mama! Sounds like a great business you've got and it seems that the kids and familieis are lucky to have your services.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.K.

answers from Washington DC on

I totally agree with everyone who says they are taking advantage of you. If they are late, they are late! That is their problem. The kid either needs to be fed at home in the AM or the parents are just going to deal that she may not get fed (sorry sounds rough, but seems like they are taking advantage!). I'd have them pay for the time that they miss next go around. I wouldn't let them off the hook that easily. You are running a business, you deserve to be paid. If the Mother is taking off 2 weeks regardless, you should still be paid, after all you are watching her child under your care. Do you have a contract? You may want to do that. $25/day is a very low price. Its not fair for you to have to listen to them, you make the rules. It is your daycare! :) I have run into many problems like this with a nanny position. The family did not tell me they were going on vacation. I was actually suppose to work for them. Instead they took off for 3 weeks and I was left with no pay, no work and I worked for them every day. I asked to be compensated and they got mad at me. They literally told me the day they were leaving they would be gone for 3 weeks. If I had known that; I would have had other jobs lined up.

You may just also want to drop this client. I know that is tough to hear. But for $25/day do you really want to keep putting up with these people. It seems they will never change. If they arrive late, maybe charge a late fee or even suggest she cannot come that day.

Question; how many other children are there during the day? Obviously they all show up on time too, yes? I'd put my foot down or drop the family. Not trying to be rude at all!

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M.L.

answers from New York on

It sounds to me like this child has it good and the parents are taking advantage of you....most daycares charge alot more than $25 a day, and are not allowed vacation time for themself or for the caregiver free from pay....If I were you I would mention to them one more time that you have strict set rules and if they cannot abide by them they will have to look for a new daycare provider...I think you have been more than nice with them!! Wish you lived in my area I would have you watch my little one thats due in February!!
Meg :)

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

When I mixed up and forgot to pay a new rate at our daycare, they nicely informed me, in writing, what was owed and when. Put everything in writing and keep a copy. I didn't have the option to pay my vacation week whenever I felt like it. If I was taking DD out for the week, I still owed them the week on schedule. They still had bills to pay. We paid upfront before we left (my household DH and I split the costs so we both submitted a check before an upcoming vacation.) Failure to pay on time was a fine. Failure to pay on time more than once or twice could be grounds for removal from the center. Do not let HER tell YOU when YOU will get paid when she's already late.

I think you need to remind her the rules (print out a copy of the agreement or parent handbook) and say (in writing) that you will need her to pay her back vacation time by x date and start bringing her child either fed or during breakfast time. This is her notice. Then if she continues, inform her in writing that failure to abide by the rules (state rules broken) has forced you to ask her to take her child to a childcare provider that better suits her needs. Give her whatever notice is required in your contract.

I overheard part of a conversation between the director of my old daycare and a parent stating that since they had been there longer than the probationary period, whether or not the child was still in their center (parents were moving the child) they owed the center full payment for 2 weeks as per the contract. (We were supposed to give the center 2 weeks' notice.) I never got sick days for my kid and only earned 1 free week after 1 full year of attendance. You have a VERY nice policy!

You might feel for the kid and you might like the kid, but it is frankly a business arrangement and the mother is not abiding by the contract. You have other clients that can follow the rules and their kids deserve to go play at the scheduled time. If she can't feed her kid before she arrives, that's her schedule problem, not yours. I got my DD up at 6 and had her in the daycare by 8 with a 45 minute commute. Kiddo was always fed before arrival.

As for your schedule and fees - places vary. The costs I incurred are very different than back home because ALL costs are different. Your fees might be right in line with your area. If you didn't present the schedule to prospective clients upfront, then you should, but it sounds like she knows the schedule and isn't abiding by it. If she doesn't, then inform her or remind her what the schedule is. I wouldn't charge someone $1 minute fee for being "late" to drop off, but I would charge $1 minute for late pickup. We had to pay $1/minute directly to the person who stayed however long for us, unless there were extenuating circumstances. Most providers have this rule. I picked up a friend's kid yesterday because his parents could not get there on time and they did not want to be in the preschool's bad graces (or pay a fine).

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A.G.

answers from Las Cruces on

I think you need to remind them of the rules. My twins just switched from a sitter to a home daycare, and the new place has policies that must be followed and if they are not the provider will not take your kids. If shes not willing to follow the rules than she may need to find a new place. Its not fair to anyone that she bend the rules.

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M.M.

answers from Dallas on

Ma'am, as much as you love this little girl, you still have bills to pay.
i think its time for them to be dropped.
her behavior is RUDE and unecesarry.
its time to find someone who will value what you are doing for them.
have a great day.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I would try to be out of the kitchen the next week or so early so she won't have the opportunity to take them and put them in the chair. If she says they haven't eaten remind her of the times. But the little one should get something anyway after mom is gone.

As for the pay, if they don't pay they don't have child care. Tell them you have to have the payment up front of the kids don't stay. If regular child care if they don't pay on Monday or make arrangements that are approved by the director they can't leave their kids.

My parents that had subsidy through the state have cards to swipe. If they forgot the card but were regular 99% of the time I would help them do the late entry the next time they had the card, which better be by the next morning.

Tell them that the partial payments won't work for you. Then give them a copy of your handbook with the important lines highlighted in pink or yellow.

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C.O.

answers from Minneapolis on

They are taking advantage of you.

We've had our daycare provider since my son was 18 months old and he's now 7 and rarely goes but my daughter, who is 4 goes until she starts school. When we started with her we signed a contract stating that she had 10 days paid vacation and 5 sick days (also paid). If we took time off and the child wasn't there we have to pay. I have never paid her late and if I am going to drop my child off late I tell her ahead of time.

It is not right what they are doing to you. My daycare had a problem with a child always getting picked up late until she finally just told them that they had two weeks to find a new daycare (we pay a 2 week deposit). And she adored that kid! I think it's time to tell them to go to another daycare. Good luck!

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A.L.

answers from Charleston on

She wouldn't get away with this at a daycare center, so why are you letting her do it to you? I bet you could find another family to bring in really fast to replace their child, and I'd let them know that. I'd tell them they have until a certain date to be paid in full for the back payments, or you will have to let them go. Make them sign the agreement. As for the breakfast situation, I would let her know that breakfast is over by 7:30, and if they can't be there before then, they have to feed their child at their home. You are being used, and like someone else said, if word gets out to your other parents that they are getting away with this type behavior, who's to say they won't try it too? Put your foot down. You're the owner - you call the shots.

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C.B.

answers from Portland on

I have been using in-home daycare close to 4 years now. we have always been allowed one week vacation - at 50% normal rate.

She has scheduled in 9 days off - but we do not have to pay for her unscheduled time off.

I think you are in the right to ask for payment, b/c when they signed a contract with you - that was in there... right?!?!?

Otherwise, I think you are going to have to tell them you are unable to watch her any longer. I know it breaks your heart, but you're running a business too..

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

It's time for a final (written) warning, and then drop them.

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N.F.

answers from St. Louis on

I'm in St. Peters and I would consider putting my kids in for a couple of days a week if you're interested. Message me if you are. My boys are twins and they are 2 1/2. I'm very good at abiding by rules. : )

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K.B.

answers from Tulsa on

I would require them to pay up. As soon as we were even, I would tell them it is not working out and stop watching them.

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