Hello. My question is about a child that I watch during the week. She turned 2 years old a couple of months ago. Just before her birthday her Mom decided that she was going to be potty trained. She has just started wearing training pants at my house. She does great in that she hasn't had any accident since she started wearing them at my house, but she NEVER tells you when she has to go. She literally just holds it for 3 or more hours no matter how often you ask her if she has to go until you make her sit on the potty. It is kind of like she is afraid to go because she doesn't want to be in trouble. Has anyone every experienced this when potty training? I have potty trained 5 other little girls, mine and others, in the past 3 years and all of them seemed really excited about wearing underwear and going to the bathroom. They all would go at least once an hour if not more. Does this child just have great bladder control or is she scared? I am afraid she could somehow cause herself to get a bladder infection or some other problem, by holding it for so long. Does anyone have any suggestions to get her excited about the potty/panties and telling people she has to go? I don't know if I am worrying about nothing, but I am just a little concerned. Thanks
Hey J.,
I am not at the potty training point yet, but from what I have read, it isn't that uncommon for kids to have mixed feelings (including fear) of using the potty. If she goes when you put her on it, then I would just suggest taking her to the potty once an hour. Make it a regular thing, just like a game. When it becomes routine, I imagine some of that fear will subside.
Just some thoughts...thanks!
My daughter was the same way. When I would ask her, she'd say she didn't have to go. But if I said "It's time to go" and took her in there, she'd go. So I just made a point that every hour or two, she'd go sit on the potty. I think she would say "no" when I asked mainly because she didn't want to stop what she was doing. So I just made it a part of our routine. Eventually, she started to recognize when she needed to go, and she'd go on her own. Personally, I wouldn't put potty training on hold. If she's got the bladder control and is willing to go on the potty when asked, I think she's ready. I've heard that you can miss the window of opportunity for easy training. If the only problem is that she's holding it too long, I wouldn't revert back to diapers or you may have more trouble later (she may decide that she LIKES being in diapers). Some kids just get engrossed in what they're doing and when given the choice (when asked instead of being told it's time to go), they'd rather keep playing.
it sounds like to me the child is not ready yet. They have to be able to tell you when they have to go. Some people have gotten the weird notion that as soon as the child turns 2 they have to potty train, so not true. It has to be when the child is ready. I really think you need to speak with the mom and tell her your concerns, the child is in your care more then she is at home so you are seeing the signs that she may not be quite ready yet. My son was almost 4 before he was 100% potty trained (of course he had healty issues also), I used to teach preschool and there were a huge number of the kids that were not fully trained by 3 (the age I taught) and in the 2 yr old class 75% were not trained. It has to be when the child is ready, not when the parent wants it to happen, if the child is not ready it will take longer. (personal experience)
I agree with pushing liquids so she has to go and some sort of reward for going. 3 hours is a long time for a little girl not to go. If I am drinking enough water I can't wait that long. Good luck.
Some kids just don't like to take the "time" to go potty because they're having so much fun playing. You may want to really push the juices & water on her for a week, or so, to really make her have to "go". :)
You may also want to compare notes with her mom and see if she is experieincing the same kind of reactions. Perhaps the reward system needs to be more fun for her. Each child is SO different, and what works for 3 or 4 may not work for #5. LOL! I have three kids, they're all totally different. I also babysit twins, and they're like night & day, too. Find out what works best for her. instead of stickers or M & Ms as a reward, she may really like 10 min. of playing a board game, or getting a story read to her.
Good luck!
S.
