Potty Training Tips...........HELP!!!!!

It seems like a milestone, however....when she isready. ! Leave potty in bathroom, that is where she knows it should be. Whenever you see her looking anxious, go with her and sit on Big potty and take her in bathroom with you and let her be inthere while you are going and spend a few extra minutes with her inthe bathroom. She willeventually get the idea. The more you dance and prance about her trying different techniques she loves the attention and will not respond. Keep it her idea and let heer think ofthiswhenthetwo of you are in the bathroom and you are going. Do not even suggest it...less attention the better. Mother of 5 daughters,all very different and all very independent. Joanie

Hi

There is a GREAT video out there called- Its Potty time by Duke University

It worked with both of my girls--its wonderful!!!

Good Luck. :)

D.

My daughter was 3 and still wearing diapers. I was getting pressure from my mother-in law, who said that kids should be potty trained at 2. I am so glad I listened to my instincts and waited. My daughter picked out a pair of panties that she wanted to wear someday -- Ariel "big girl panties." A few weeks later, on a Saturday, we sat and played. About every 30 minutes or so I would ask her if she needed to go to the potty. For the most part she said no, but about every hour I said to try. Shortly after lunch she started telling me when she had to go. She had it down fairly well by dinner time. We used pull ups at night, but she wanted to wear the Ariel panties during the day. She had very few accidents because she didn't want to mess up her Ariel panties.

In my experience, waiting a little bit is not so bad.

Good luck.

You're going to get a lot of advice on this one. My advice is to not freak out too much about it. My youngest just turned 3 and has almost no interest in potty training. He'll do it at daycare because all of his friends go at the same time, but if they take him by himself, or I put him on at home, nothing. Sometimes he says that he's going and he's not. This tells me he's not ready. My oldest trained around age 2 1/2, but my daughter wasn't trained until she was 3 1/2. I am dying to get rid of diapers once and for all (he's my last), but I know it'll happen eventually. So don't sweat it, you'll save yourself some grief. Good luck with whatever you do.

I'm afraid I'm not going to be the advice you want to read. We had a really hard time with our last child, who wasn't potty trained by 3. She never seemed to get it, and we had trouble in kindergarten, too. FINALLY, during K, we took her to see a pediatric urologist and discovered that she had chronic bladder infections. The problem ended up being that she would empty her bladder, she thought, but it would only empty half-way, and then she'd end up wetting her pants. We went through a variety of fairly non-invasive tests, and only one that was kind of yucky -- they did an ultrasound of her bladder in action, which meant they put a catheter in, and used it to fill her bladder, until she peed on the table where she was lying. She didn't like that, and it must have felt really gross, but we were be able to be at her side the whole time, and it didn't really hurt all that much. It was just really embarrassing. But it did prove that she wasn't having problems with urine also refluxing back into the kidneys which could cause permantent damage in the event of a kidney infection. And that was good. (This wasn't done until she had a bladder infection and such a high fever that she was dumping sugar in her urine, too.) typically, we were told, bladder infections don't cause fevers, which is why the office was concerned about a kidney infection.

Our youngest was on macrodantin for a while, which is a very low grade (inexpensive) antibiotic that focusses on the bladder, to prevent infections. She was able to be dry when she was infection free.

So that's the horror story part. We were initially thinking that the problem was volitional and she just didn't want to bother to go to the bathroom. In the end, the doctor did tell us that it wasn't. Her bladder was just going to take more time to finish maturing. She's 13 now. And dry. . . but every once in a while she doesn't "quite" make it, and at those times, she starts voluntarily drinking cranberry juice which helps to cleanse the bladder, and she is fine again.

If there are any issues with bladder infections, or if there aren't, but she's got a not-so-grown-up-girl bladder, I would recommend introducing something like cran-grape juice, or cran-strawberry -- something that will help to keepher bladder infection free. And use pull-ups so she isn't embarrassed by her problem. You can sit and read together while she's on the potty, and try to enforce it, as a regular thing activity-wise, but try not to discourge her, and be sure she's getting something with even a little cranberry juice in it, because if there's an infection lurking, the cranberry juice solution avoids antibiotics and helps her body learn to fight the infection all by itself. :-) (the infections came because the bladder never fully emptied, and the cellular waste that sat in her bladder got stronger because she wasn't drinking much because she didn't want to wet her pants, so she was dehydrating and the urine was getting stronger and stronger until she got the infection.)

hopefully, you aren't facing the 5-6 years of regular doctor visits we went through until our daughter was able to hold it and use the toilet without medication, but know that it's not uncommon and there are some excellent pediatric urologists out there and visits are "easy" -- no shots. Ultrasounds of the bladder, but other than that it's mostly talking. :-) I wish we'd started our daughter sooner, because it would have saved her a whole lot of embarrassment.

good luck !

barb

She ended

My son, who just turned 3, had no interest in potty training. I swear if I waited until he was interested he'd be 5 before anything happened! Nothing was working so I just put him in underpants one day and waited to see what happened. He had accident after accident. Every time I rushed him to the potty and told him that we put pee in the potty. Finally after 3 days of non-stop accidents he started sitting on the potty sometimes. After a week he was doing it much more regularly. It's been 2 months now and he's doing really well. By the way, in the beginning it seemed like he didn't care about wetting himself but I guess after so many accidents he started figuring out that if he just went and sat on the potty things were a lot easier. Oh, and I fed him lots of liquids so that he had to go very often. Good luck!

My daughter will be 2 in Nov. And for a while there we had her almost potty trained. Then she just stopped one day and then out of the blue she would use the public toliets and not the ones at home. But we are back to where she dosen;t want anything to do with them. IT is hard. I have older children but they where not potty trained fully until they where 3-4 years old and that was the help of the day care that they where in.

Dose she have a charater that she likes? Like elmo or Dora or something like that? Look for there potty movies or something. Might help. Best of luck. Just remember when u stress she will stress over it also.

We did panties with our daughter when she was 3 and let her have accidents. She too seemed unphased by it for a bit. Is there anything your daughter really wants to do? For example, my daughter really wanted to dance and was also looking forward to starting Cubbies (a children's thing at our church). I kept reminding her that she couldn't wear diapers or pull-ups if she wanted to do those things and that she had to use the potty like a big girl. That seemed to help a lot. We did continue to put her in panties while we were at home.

I agree with some of the other posts who say that she simply may not be ready. Every child is different when it comes to these milestones. It will be much easier on both of you if you wait until she shows interest in the potty. I tried different methods with my son for a long time that just did not work for him, so I gave up. About 2 or 3 months later, he went to our bathroom during his naptime, took off his pamper and peed on the potty...I was shocked! He had decided, on his own, that he was ready. I was so proud of my little "genius"! Of course, I knew that I would still have to work with him on completely training, but without the pressure, he decided in his own time to do it. And he did great with it from that day on. We had a couple of accidents, but he was wearing underpants from that moment on with no turning back.
So be patient with her. I really believe its easier to train them when they are ready to be trained. By the way, my son was 3 1/2 years old when his "genius" moment struck, so I was starting to get worried that we would be explaining pampers to his prom date...just kidding of course! ;)

When my son was 3 he and I tried to get him to pick out some fun underwear, he very clearly articulated "I don't need underwear...I wear diapers" I.E..."I'm NOT interested...and you can't make me!" DON'T rush it...each child is ready when they're ready. It will be incredibly frustrating for both of you if she's not ready. There's a HUGE range of normal...and she's still certainly in that range. I would not even mention it for another month or so...then bring it up again to see if there's any interest...if not...wait some more.

Good luck!

I am right there with ya. My daughter will be 3 in January and doesnt care at all about the potty. Doesnt care if her diaper is full doesnt care if the potty chair has light bells whistles and stickers. They have to be able to communicate effectively and understand the process and listen and at that age sometimes all of this thing arent there yet!I am getting pressure sure from all sides but if she cries when I put her on it...........then whats the point! I quit feeling the pressure and will try again when she is more ready and if that is not until after 3 then so be it!
Sincerly,
A Mother Waiting to Potty Train

My son was not interested at all in the beginning. We tried for awhile and he didn't want anything to do with it, then we waited awhile & tried again. We used the sticker chart. My husband also gave in and gave toys occasionally. My son loved that for awhile, but started not caring again. We just kept with it. Finally we stopped using pull ups because he couldn't tell or didn't care if if went in them. We had to change pants a few times a day, but he finally got it. Just in time for school!

I would say either stop pushing her for a little while & revisit the issue in a few weeks or keep trying. Just don't get mad at her. She doesn't seem ready but she will be eventually. She won't be wearing diapers forever. Good luck - this is not going to be easy, for any of you.

Oh, and also - go to the message boards. This topic comes up almost daily, so you should find lots of tips already posted.

I used to work in a daycare where toilet training the children was part of our daily routine. I used to make it fun for the children by playing games. I had this one game where I used different colored toilet paper, such as blue so when the child went, it would turn green. I also used reinforcement with a sticker chart that was right in the bathroom. Each time the child went, he/she got to place a sticker on the chart. If the child went everyday for a week, they got to pick out a special prize.

When you put big girl pants on her did you go back to diapers because she went in them? I'm wondering if she knows she will be put back in diapers, and just isn't concerned because of that. WheneverI potty trained my children once I put big pants on them I didn't use diapers again. With that being said, I did ALOT of laundry because they are still learning all the sensations, etc. My son is two, and he has been using the potty all summer - but he does occassionally have accidents - but they are getting fewer and fewer. Go into this knowing it may take awhile. You may want to take a break and start in another month or so - don't give a choice, just tell your daughter this is what you are going to do (sound really excited though) If you still are having problem you can always take her to the doctor to rule out any medical issues. Good Luck!

Hi J.,
Maybe she's just not ready yet. She's obviously not interested! LOL
I might suggest a sticker chart...when she fills it up, she gets a reward. Might work when she is showing interest. Good luck!

I would look back through all the other potty training questions and advice on this site. this topic comes up ALOT. Instead of rehashing all the tips and tricks, I'll just offer up that all children get it eventually, make it fun and be 100% committed to it. It really is less about your daughter and more about you being willing to teach her to clean up puddles, being willing to interrupt what you are doing to take her potty every hour,consistency, consistency, consistency and that sort of stuff. Not really fun, but stick with it and she'll get it.

Hi J.!

Have you tried taking her shopping for "pretty panties" to get her excited about being a big girl and going on the potty? Or how about a reward system? We used "potty posters" on the back of the bathroom door with stickers that I took her to the store to buy--1 for pee, 2 for poop. Or, you could purchase some inexpensive dollar store items and put them in a basket--if she has a good day on the potty and cooperates with you, then you let her have a basket pick at the end of the day. That way, she is working towards a goal to get the reward.

I HATED potty training and I am so glad it's over for me. GOOD LUCK! This too shall pass!

I dont have any advice really, just empathy. My daughter is 3 and has the same issues. Our Ped. told us not to worry, eventually she will get it and there are a lot of kids who dont get the hang of it until 3/12 or 4. Just take a break, then try again in a month. Just knowing we are not the only ones may help :)

My advice, as painful as it might be for you, is to let it go. She may not be ready. You may want to try setting a timer or using a potty watch, so that she knows, when it beeps, it is time to go. Do you have books or an activity for her when she is on the potty? My daugther was a very late potty trainer. I understand how frustrating it is. All that I can say is that somehow it does click for them. It will happen for your daughter too! Also remember, it's their accomplishment, not yours. They drive the bus, you are just along for the ride. It's a bumpy one.... good luck!

Hi J. - I agree with what Denise said. Sticker chart. having an incentive definitely helped my son. Doesn't mean you have to spend a lot of money on the prize - could be picking a playground to go to, choosing a dollar store toy, library, having a friend over, etc. Good luck!

As most of the others have said, she will not do it until she is ready. As frustrating as it is, it is just one milestone in her young life that she will accomplish at her own pace. Look how far she's come since the day she was born. Invite over potty trained female playmates as often as you can, and she'll probably decide she wants to be like them. It might help. The main thing is to not make a big deal out of it because then she will drag her feet even more.

As hard and frustrating as it is, just let her be. My son will be 4 around Thanksgiving and he just potty trained in August (right before pre-school thank goodness) I pushed and encouraged and rewarded and promised and yelled and screamed and cried and read books and did everything short of standing on my head (and even though I was pregnant if someone told me that works I would have tried it!) My son sounds like your daughter. Absolutely no interest in the potty. He would have messes and sit in it and not say a word. Eventually one night he was running around in the nude before his bath and I told him to tell me if he had to go potty so I could put a diaper on him and the next thing you know he came running to me and told me that he just tinkled in the potty. From then on he used the potty with only an occasional accident. I think your daughter will go when she is ready. Unfortunately it can be a control thing and pushing them to do it can make it worse. However, the fact that they are older when they finally do train seems to make the training much shorter which is great. Good luck, hang in there and let us know what happens!

I really think when they are ready, they are ready. I tried the little potty chairs, I tried toliet seats with the potty chair attached, I tried white removable seats...I discovered one day watching cartoons that she was LOVING dora. She never really cared much before about it. I went to walmart & found a DOra potty seat. I brought it home, let her unwrap it & go put it on the potty. I started telling her to pee pee with dora! Well, that worked for her. It still took lots of time but that seat really inspired her to go. I bought one for grandmas house too. She chose my bathroom and thats where she goes. It worked for us. She just turned 3, shes about 95% there. I let her run without a diaper, she really doesn't like panties too much. being naked helped too. Good luck, it'll happen eventually!