E.S.
I think that success lies in what you deem successful. Some are happy when their kids graduate high school. Others aren't happy unless their kids have a shot at getting into Yale.
For me to not lay awake doubting at night or wondering what I did wrong at some point, I would wish my daughter to be balanced. Faithful, humorous, honest, a solid sense of her own worth without excessive pride, the knowledge that she's going to make mistakes and she'll live through them but the desire to not make them. And if I've done well, she'll know that she's loved and she'll look at others with patience and kindness - not letting herself be abused but viewing others with intolerance or hate.
As for her father, who is leaving for Iraq in January, God bless you and yours, for him to be successful, at this point, I'm hoping it means our daughter believes it's possible and desirable to have a relationship with a boy/man once she's old enough.