Problems with Toilet Training

My daughter is 7 so she has been potty trained for quite sometime but I remember like it was yesterday! My daughter did fine with the peeing also but when it came time for #2 she was scared to death, she said she didn't want to see it, she begged me not to make her look at it, scared to death of poop! I hate to say it but I had to bribe her and then she eventually realized it was much better to #2 in the toilet than to have it in a diaper. When I knew it was about time (I could always tell when she was getting ready because she would try to hide) I would take her and put her on the toilet (she wouldn't use the kid's potty, I had to get the kids seat that fit on the grown up potty and give her a book. I hope this will help you!! Good Luck!!

My little girl had the same problem with pooping when she was little, She is now two and was a breeze to brake she wouldnt go poop while I was standing there I had to leave so she would poop and then she would run out and tell me come see. I also had problems with her poopin in her own potty it had to be on the "big peoples potty".

I suggest you put her on the potty a few extra times and leave her to do her own business and if you want reward her with something special also I know this sounds silly but give her a book or a toy while she trys to poop that worked with mine.
I wish you the best of luck!

There is a condition where a child will hold their feces in order to feel like they can have some control over their life/environment. So my guess is she feels like she is losing some of her control over her life with potty training.
My nephew had this and the doctor put him on a bowel program of stool softeners and castor oil like medicines, but then he just soiled his pants anyway and it took years for him to grow out of it.
I would give your doctor a call and just hear what he/she has to say to this issue.

my 2 year old was the same way when she was learning how to use the potty. i was told be a pediatrician to make sure she had juice and water (extra but not way too much) on the days she didnt want to use the potty. i also made a really big deal about how awesome it was everytime she did go poop.

Add flaxseed to her diet somehow: grind up and add to yogurt, cereal, homemade things like bread pancakes. the easiest way for me and my girls is pancakes. I just add it to the batter and they will surely have a BM whether they want to or not. my daughter had the same problem. good luck.

J.

Hi J.:
my name is D. and I perfectly understand what you are going through. I am a mother of 3 and my second is a boy who is almost 5 year old (Dec). He goes from 3-5 days in I also watch his diet but it just go out of my hands. For us tot try to actually DO IT we found something that he likes...car ..about a dollar...so wepromised him that if he'll DO IT we will bay him one...and few....until finally we stop baying the cars and mandatory every 3-4 the must we will sat him. Believe me.... it is not easy but for the 5 last time finally now he will tell me on his own about every 3 days.... mamy I am going so I can keep an eye and help him clean up......it funny but he just did today......Good Luck and God Bless you and gives you the strentgh and patience that you will need. Diborah

We've just gone through this over the summer!
My youngest had to be put on the clear white powder already mentioned in a post - the Dr. said with extreme constipation and then holding it - it's because they equate pooping with 'hurting' so they don't want to do it. The medicine helps soften the stools so they won't 'hurt'...and therefore, will try to go in the potty. We did the whole M/Ms and all...we finally had to 'up the annie' to include a surprise of something that was special to him (which happened to be animals)...so I bought some glow in the dark animals at the dollar store and he got one every time he pottied in the potty... and they were up on a shelf (he could't reach but he could see) to remind him that if he went in the potty he would get one. AND..when he got his first one...and then second one and so on - we made a VERY BIG DEAL of it! Literally jumping up and down and telling him how happy it made us and how proud we were of him. AND...he got to pick out his OWN BIG BOY underwear to wear for being a 'big boy' and pooping in the potty! (of course - they all worked for him -- but this was after many suggestions from LOTS of other friends! I was willing to try ANYTHING!) Good luck!

J.,
I had the same problem with my first son. It really was uncomfortable for him and extremely unnerving for me to watch my baby hurt & be afraid to poop. Ultimately, I spent hours with him on the toilet after he had not pooped for 3 days. There was crying, and arguing, and yes, it sounds forced. But after a couple of hours of him on the toilet and me on the bathroom floor, he "accidently" pooped! And he was alright! From that moment on, he knew that pooping in the toilet wasn't going to hurt him, he wasn't going to go down the toilet with it, and he felt A LOT better. Sometimes this tough love approach is very hard, but if all else fails, which in my case it did, what else do we have to resort to? Good luck!

Just to sum up what I have learned with my three children. Back off of it and be non controlling and sure enough they will learn. Put the diaper on her and she will eventually not want it anymore.

My three year old twins have been potty training for over a month now. One twin takes a prescription medicine to help him with his bowel movements since the age of 1 1/2. He did not have a bowel movement for six days when we started potty training. At which point I was desperate that I made him sit on the potty for a long time and it finally came, which hurt him after holding it for so long. I made sure to reward him after in a big way! He has been going since, sometimes I have to remind him of the treat to come to help him out. My oldest would sit and read books, anything you can do to relax her will help loosen the muscles and let it start to come out. Just try not to stress your daughter, talking or anything she likes to help ease her mind. Also lots of places sell toilet rings that fit on the "big" potty with different characters on them, but this way they don't feel like they are falling in and can sit without holding on. Good Luck and be consistent!

We went through the same problem of asking for a diaper; like you said, you do it so they will go. A reward wrorked for us. Our son picked out a racetrack he wanted so when he finaly used the toliet, he got it. In the meantime, continue to talk about it, show her by taking her to the bathroom with you, and you'll get through it. Having her sit after maels is a good idea to get comfortable. Realx. All kids eventually makt it! Good luck.

I am just training my two year old son. He is doing wonderful the last 5 or 6 days. He pees in the pot and he really feels good about himself. However, to make this process start I had to promise him M&M's after each trip to the potty and then if he is potty trained by Oct when we go to Disney World then he will recieve a Pal Mickey! He was so excited that after his first time to the potty he yelled in excitement that he was going to get Pal Mickey and M&M's. When he goes #2 I give him books to read. I stand there and hand him books upon books until he is done. Afterwards he is always rewarded with M&M's and a quick reminder about Disney. I also give him a high five after each potty success. It is very important to make your child feel that they are doing something great when they go potty. I ask him over and over if he needs to pea or if he needs to poop. It's important to keep reminding children at this age because they forget with everything else they have going on in a day. The constipation can be solved with more fresh fruit like bananas and cantalope...etc.Also oatmeal seems to help my son out a little bit too. I wouldn't rush to the doctor to solve this problem. I think communicating with your three year old will help bring light to the problem. Ask her why she doesn't poop in the potty. I'm sure she will gladly let you know. Let her know that it's important to be a big girl and to poop in the potty like mommy. I hope this has helped out a little.

Talk to your doctor. My son had/has similar problems. It got to the point he would have little accidents (stains) in his pants a least once a day, and about every third day he'd have a large accident. We had him trying to poop every hour on the hour, and he would do a little each time. I thought he was being lazy and was told by my regualr physician it was a behavorial problem. i finally brought it up at his annual visit with his pediatrician and found out there is a condition where during potty training (and sometimes other times) the child becomes consipated trying to hold it. Then when they try to go, it is painful. They then try to avoid going, because it hurts. Eventually, the rectum muscles become stretched. The constant feeling of pressure from constipation causes them not to feel when they have accidents, and leakage can occur. Our peridatrician had me give him an enima to remove any packed stool, and began him on a stool softener to keep him from getting constipated and backing up again. We are now in the process or retraining him while he teaches his rectum how to hold it. It has been a horrible process that has gone on for us over a year now. Don't wait like I did, until it gets this far for your child. It affects her self esteem and behavior regarding dealing with problems she wants to avoid. My son would hide and lie to keep me from finding out, now that we deal with it diffrently, he comes to me and tells me when he's had a problem and knows we can work it out.
I never knew potty training could be so complicated. God bless you!

I have two links for you loaded with info on this very subject; one is a forum, the other is a website. Good luck.

http://www.aboutencopresis.com/

http://www.medhelp.org/forums/ChildBehavior/messages/3320...

J., try giving your daughter some extra fiber on a daily bases and see if you can get her to relax when she is on the potty, it may be that she is "too excited" while on the potty to go. My daughter who is now 14 did that too, and all I could do was be patient. Once she finally did go, we were so excited we took pictures, lol Yes I still have the pictures, and yes that was probly a sick thing to do. lol but we are parents and we are allowed to be proud of our childrens poop if we want to be.

My son also had this problem. He had problems with gas/constipation from the beginning. I was told to try and give him water as often as possible as well as high fiber meals. This helped with the constipation, but he was still too impatient to sit and wait for the poop to come while on the potty. Every time he pooped in his pants, I changed him in the bathroom and put his poop in the potty. This helped him to get the concept that poop belonged in the potty. After doing this a few times he started trying to go in the potty with some successes. Ultimately, it just took some time for him to get the concept and learn how to relax and wait for it to come.

Oh yes. Been there, done that.

My little one has had pooping problems since the day she was born... Potty training was no exception!!!

My dr. recommeded mineral oil. You can buy it at the store in the laxitive section. Call your dr. to find out how much to give her.

It really worked. There were still times that I needed to get a diaper to get her to go, but soon that let up. It takes practice, patience and re-assurance.

Also try sitting her on the potty about a half hour after eating. Dr. said that the bowels are stimulated then and her body tells her that it is time to go.

Maybe let her in on your bathroom schedule. Let her know that it is "exciting" to go in the potty. I even broke down and did a happy dance when the time came to go potty either way.

Its sounds funny and maybe a little desperate, but I was willing to do anything to get her to go poop in the potty.

Remember the longer she waits the drier and harder it will become to go.

GOOD LUCK!!

This is going to sound awful but have you taken her to the bathroom with you and let her experience you have a bowel movement? Some children need to be shown it is okay to empty something that is theirs to be flushed away. I don't know why some children feel this belongs to them and some actually feel this is a no-no. Did she ever take her bowel movement and mess in it or smear it on the walls or bed? These are the children after being scolded for it have a problem relating to let it come out when they don't have a diaper on. They associate the bowel movement with diaper only. You may want to try this a few times within 15 minutes after a meal when you have to go. It takes a while but she will grasp it when you show her you do it and its okay to go in potty.

J.-

A half a cup of prune juice mixed with OJ has worked great for us. We also keep some extra pull-ups on hand too. Our pediatricain told us once they master "peeing" it could take an add'l 6 months for the BM to make it into the toilet. Don't stress and be patient. My little one is 3 1/2 and we are working with her and up her fluids and of course the prune juice!

I have the same problem with my son. I actually took him to the doctor to get medicine to help him go. He is getting better but it will just take time. He is now potty trained thru the night as well, but when he has to the #2 he will still sometimes go in his pants. If I haven't given his medicine to him in a couple days he will only go a little bit and think he has gone on the toilet when really he has gone in his pants. My suggestion is to go to the doc and get some constipation medicine. They gave me a clear powder (tasteless) that you mix in water or juice. I think it's called Glycolax. It works.

When I was potty training my 2 and a half year old (now 3 and a half), she did the same thing. She would pee just fine, but she started withholding her poop. Then, it created the cycle where she would become constipated, but would have to poop, so it would be hard and hurt, and she would get little fissures around her anus, which meant that it would hurt the next time she pooped too. So, I read a lot about it, and pretty much got the same thing from just about everything I read. The jist is that I had to back off and give her the diapers back until the cycle had broken itself. She was able to relax again and poop whenever she needed to. It stopped hurting and she stopped being afraid of pooping. I also used some vaseline around her anus when I changed her diaper to help her initially with the pooping. If there are fissures, it will protect them so it doesn't hurt when she tries to poop. It just so happened that I had also just had a new baby, so I just backed off the whole potty training thing for about 3 months. That gave her plenty of time to relax. Then we started again, and she was really ready the next time. I still had to push her though. I think she would have stayed in her pullups for a long time if I finally hadn't just told her I was taking them away. But I could tell she was really ready the second time, so it didn't cause a problem. After a couple of big accidents and me telling her I was very disappointed in her (and a lot of positive reinforcement when she did use the toilet), she was fully potty trained.

So I guess I would suggest backing off for awhile (even with peeing in the toilet) unless she initiates it. Use vaseline if you need to. Let her break the withholding cycle, then try again. And remember, no matter how trying the whole thing is now, she's not going to be wearing diapers in high school. She WILL learn!

Good Luck!
L.

Sometimes going poop in the toliet is tramatic for a child and it is not an uncommon thing you are experiencing. I know several parents whose child would pee in the toliet but did not want to poop. I would make sure to give her plenty of fluids, and do what you have been with her diet to help keep her bowels moving. Maybe you could tell her that she can have a diaper on, but she has to still poop in the bathroom, and then eventually move to having her sit on the toliet with her diaper on when she poops, and work your way to taking off the diaper. One thing one of my friends did, was to make her child clean up after he went poop in his diaper. He had to throw the diaper away, and clean his bottom, the whole nine yards, and he very quickly learned it was better to go in the toliet. I hope this helps.

My daughter did the same thing when she was potty training. I've heard from other parents that pooping on the potty is often the last hold out, lol. Kallie would hold it all day (or longer, depending), then ask for a diaper at home in the evenings. It frustrated me to death at the time, but eventually she started pooping on the potty too.

I think that as long as your daughter is pooping every few days, and she doesn't appear to be in any pain or discomfort from holding it, she's probably ok. Maybe up her intake of fiber and water if you're still concerned. It probably just has to do with the change in potty habits and she'll become more regular again once she gets past this new developmental step. Good luck!!

A.