Help! Can't Get 3 Year Old to Poop on the Potty

Its funny you should ask this today. I am visiting with my son and his 2 little ones. His daughter is almost 3 and totally pee trained, but they had problems with her pooping. The 3rd day I was here I noticed her behind the couch, I picked her up and put her on the toilet, closed the door and preceeded to examine myself in the mirror. I told her, while not looking at her, what a big girl she was and how proud I was of her...etc. Well after about 5 minutes she proudly announced that she had pooped. She had and everyone came to admire it. I think part of the probelm might be privacy. Lots of kids hide when they are moving their bowels. Try not to look at her when shes on the potty and see what happens.

Hi K.,

All I can say is be patient. My 4 1/2 year old, also headstrong, still has issues with pooping on the potty. The only thing that has really made a difference is him knowing none of his friends wear diapers anymore.

Good luck!

Hi K.,
I don't believe in bribes or rewards for expected behavior. If she's resistent to using the potty/toilet, and is uncomfortable pooping there but you know that she knows when she has to, I would suggest this: tell her that for the time being, when she has to poop, she can come and tell you, and you'll diaper her, but that she can only have the diaper if she sits on the potty or toilet and poops with it on. If she wants her pants on too, that's fine - after she becomes more comfortable with this, you can first lose the pants, and then eventually lose the diaper. While you'd like her out of the diapers altogether, cleaning up a poop from a diaper right after she goes is better than cleaning it up from underwear especially if she's tried to hide it
Good luck!

We had a ritual of saying, "Bye-bye poopy, see you next time!" and also listening for the "plop" of the poo in the toilet (my son just sat backwards on the big toilet, he never liked potty chairs). At first, he had to be with a grown-up when they had a bowel movement, but then he got curious and wanted to try.

The saying bye-bye is helping them distinguish what is and isn't their body, and helping them understand that part of them isn't being taken away forever. Pop psychology, maybe, but it gave us a ritual and made everything easier.

I haven't started the potty training yet but I have read somewhere and it makes some sense that not pooping in the potty may stem from fear. They feel like they are losing part of their body and it's getting flushed down the toilet (pee is different cause it's liquid). I wouldn't do the bribe angle becasue when she finally does go poop in the potty, she will expect a reward every time. Maybe try explaining (in 3 year old language of course) what poop really is and if all else fails (and this may sound gross) letr her see you poop in the tolet so she can be just like mommy.

I hope this helps though I am by no means an expert.

i know this sounds gross but it work with my nephew. Next time she poops her pants make her clean it up.(ok not the actually poop, have a pair of her pants ready with chocolate or something poop-like.) she will never do it again.
good luck.

I was sooo frustrated with my niece when she was potty training (my sister lives with me and I care for her daughter while she's at work). She was 100%on track with peeing on potty, but wouldn't poop. I would reward for poop, and/or get upset about "accidents" but nothing phased her. Then one day, I made a chart-- told her everytime she poops on the potty, she gets to put a gold star in a box, and after 10, she gets to come with me to the store (rite aid) and pick a present- anything she wants! For whatever reason, this did the trick. I think maybe giving her control over the situation helped.. who knows? but she looooved getting to put the star stickers in the box, and it was a big deal to go to the store and pick a present... and ok for me since the toy aisle at rite aid only sells toys that go for around 5 bucks or so. Good luck! this too shall pass :) (oh yeah, also let her help paint and decorate the chart, which was proudly displayed in our kitchen)

My 3 year old daughter also went through this, I finally got it out of her that she didn't want to poop on the potty because it was boring just sitting there. I started sending he rin with a stack of books to give her something to do and she would just read till it came all out.

Hi There,
My daughter went through this too... apparently it is very common. She was pee trained a good 6 mos with no accidents before she pooped in the potty! It was a control thing for her. The one rule we had was that she had to ask for diaper and poop in the bathroom, which she did. Finally, I realized she pooped a lot in the AM when she wakes up, so I put towels down and put the potty seat in her room. I said she could do it all by herself if she wanted and she could call for help when she needed wipe. Low and behold, the next AM, she yelled "I need help, I did poop on the potty"! Once she got the hang of it, we moved the potty to the bathroom and reminded her it was there... now she only wants to use the toilet and does fine. Just be patient and don't make it a control battle... she will do it soon enough. And don't go back to diapers!!
Good Luck!

You need to celebrate that she is Peeing on the toilet and relax about the poop. You are putting too much emphasis on her making poop on the potty. It will happen when she is ready. When I spoke to my pediatrician about my 4 year old son not pooping on the toilet (I know boys take longer than girls) he told me my son is very normal and it is the parents who have the problem and put to much pressure on the children. One trick I did try with my daughter is let her use the little kids potty seat to go poop because the big toilet was hard for her to get comfortable on. Then I would fold up a paper towl to fit in the bottom of the bowl and draw a picture of a funny face and tell her to poop on the funny face. She started asking for the poopy person when she had to go. Especially if you are a stay at home mom and do not have to rush potty training for pre-school or daycare. Relax and go with the flow! You can make it a power struggle if you pressure her too much. Hope this helps.