Problems at Preschool

Hi K.,

I recently had similar problems with my son. He would wake up and immediately say, "I don't want to go to school." He'd never had a problem before, but when we got there, he would become a Champion Fit Pitcher and his behavior was off all day. He'll be three in December, and after talking with his teachers and an administrator who observed him for three days, we decided that he was basically bored out of his mind in the class. We went ahead and transitioned him to the three year old class and his behavior has been great. He likes going to school now, and he even behaves better at home! Perhaps your daughter is ready to move up, or perhaps she is just disinterested in the class. You can ask her teachers if they think this is the case, since they spend time with her at school. Good luck!

Buy her a real looking baby doll so she gets a new baby too. Have her take it to day care too. Talk to the teachers before hand and let them help (reminding her to feed, put down for naps, etc.). It could be a jealousy thing, but having her own baby to take care of should curb the behavior if indeed that is the cause.

It's probably a combonation of her age and the new baby. Try to get more involved with what she does as school if possible. So you can see her ineracting with the other kids, how she plays, etc. And possibly buy her a baby for her to take care of. And explain to her how you used to change her diaper or rock her to sleep, and watch her take care of her baby.

Good luck!

I had the same promblem with my son at the age of 3. Have you always had her in daycare or is this new to her? I remember leaving his school thinking that I was a bad mother and even thought about quitting my job. But you have to remember things are changing in her life and she may not take change well. I would just try talking at night with her about what her next day will like. Talking her though her day maybe help her feel more secure about you leaving her. Just know this will get better. It took my son along time before we had a day that he did not cry when I left him.

Hi K.,

Believe it or not, this sounds like pretty typical 3 year old behavior. I went through the same thing with my daughter when she turned 3. We went from a nice pleasant drop off to struggling to get her up, get her dressed, get her in the car, in the school building and in her classroom. I frequently heard "I don't like school" "I don't want to go to school", "I don't like my friends, teachers....etc." everyday. I also was pregnant during this time and did not hve the patients, nerves or even temperment to deal with it. I would start crying uncontrollably on my way to work/her school because of the guilt I felt at making her go to a place she seemed to hate and had to call in sick on more then one occassion because of that. After a log talk withe the school's director, she assured me that many 3 year olds go through this phase and that things will get back to normal. My daughter just turned 4 today and things have gotten so much better. It started getting better around the 3 and a half year mark. Only occassionaly do we have an issue now and usually it is after a holiday or weekend where she has spent a lot of time with mom and dad and just doesn't want it to end. The only thing that I found that helped with Bella was to make the drop off as short and sweet as possible. I talked with her teacher and they helped me by giving her a "job" when she came into class (feed the fish, pass out papers, etc.) I also bought special stickers for when she had a good drop off day-that girl will still do anything for a sticker. I know it is tough going through this, especially pregnant, but it will get better as she gets older and matures a bit. And if your lucky, like I was, having a sibling made my daughter grow up over night, or at least in about 3-4 weeks. Just remember, this too shall pass. Hugs!!!!!

A.
Mom to Bella (4 today!) and Elena (5 months)

Kids can smell fear. Maybe she is sensing your hesitation and reacting to it. She is also three, so that doesn't help:) But, maybe if you try to stay upbeat and talk to her about all of the fun things she'll get to do at school that day etc. on the ride there, she might do better. Can you possibly get to school a few minutes early so she can show you something special in her class, get her settled, etc? That might help too. I know how heartwrenching it is to leave your daughter that way and yes, it DOES ruin your whole day! I also like the doll idea from another response. Best of luck to you and your little girl--I hope it gets better soon!