Problem with Family Members

It is hurtful when our kids get hurt and called names.. Whats worse is when it is from someone they like or love and from someone close to them.. It is too bad that your sister doesnt correct this behavior now.. It is one thing to make all the excuses why he does the things he does (no kid is perfect) but another to let what he does go unpunished.. Is she making an excuse for herself?? Oh he dont have a father in his life so i cant reprimand him, his father is back in his life i cant scold him now, he has add so he doesnt know the difference from wrong and right??? I think you need to set some ground rules for when the kids play together.. Maybe all sit down together so you know they are all getting the rules ex. No hitting or name calling or distruction of property. And if the rules are not followed they can not play together for a period of time.. Unfortunately you may have to explain to your son that the boy is acting out cause he knows he can.. It is sad when parrents dont step up for fear of not wanting their kids to be mad at them.. I call it lazy parenting but that is just my opinion.. Another sad thing is i am sure when your nephew is behaving himself then your son wants to play with him.. Only to get hurt again.. But you just need to warn your son that it may happen again and you are there for him when it does.. But after the period of time out the decision is his whether he wants to take the chance again.. Maybe ask him in front of your nephew do you really want to take the chance of getting hurt again cause you know how bad it hurts your feelings when he does not playing nice and breaks the rules.. Maybe the nephew will get it.. I have 2 sisters and their kids fought alot.. One sister has 1 boy who she always gave the same excuses for.. The other sister has 2 kids who she corrected when needed and they fought all the time and my sistrs fought all the time.. Now they learned to cope.. The younger 2 get along well but the older brother doesnt try to get along with his cousin anymore.. He stopped trying.. I love all 3 of my nephews but i respect the 2 that are very respectful.. The one that has never been corrected or been way over corrected at times is not respectful to this day.. Oh i love him and sometimes i like him.. But usually i just put up with him.. He calls his mother names, he hardly ever went to school and has now dropped out, he plays video games all day, does not work.. I could go on but i wont.. Be proud of yourself for raising a respectful citizen and keep scolding even when it hurts you more when you know your nephew isnt being scolded.. Do what you can for your nephew cause he needs some one to care.. Good luck it will be a long summer but can be made easier if you set some ground rules and stick to them.. Good luck and best wishes..

We rent a apt from my husbands brother and his wife. They have 3 children and I have two children. There are a lot of arguments that go on but unless someone is bloody, or we see see one of them physically hurting the other we mainly stay out of it. I have explained to my oldest son that sometimes others do somethings we don't like but not to tell on everything. Only the things that are harmful to someone (including the person who is doing it) Also it might be helpful to sit down with your sister and draw up some guidelines for the kids to follow while playing together and some acceptable ways of correcting them if they don't follow the guidelines. That way you know you are in total agreement on what the rules are. (ex..throwing things at each other gets 5 min time out, Cussing gets a privilage taken away, ect...) Good Luck!

Wow, you've gotten some great advice. I agree with letting them workout their own differences as long as no one is hurt. Together maybe your sister and yourself can make up the rules and then let the children know together what those are. You should have a set of punishment that gets applied to both of them. We have a playgroup and a lot of kids don't get a long all the time, so we seperate them if it's needed other then that they've learned to get along. Maybe another thing to try out. Kids are going to be kids and they are gonna fight. Just make sure your sister follows through with the rules too, consistancy is major thing, even at this age!

You will drive yourself crazy if you get involved with each and every argument these boys get in. My advise is to try and have them settle the problem. About the bad language, tell your son that he knows it's a bad word and not to use it, but he doesn't need to come and tell you each time the cousin uses it. Tell your sister that it's time for the boys to settle their problems. If they can't play nice, just don't play together. Play in different areas of the house (if possible)

Good luck....and yes, it will be a long summer. 52 days left!

D., that's too bad the kids don't get along being as they are cousins and the same age you would think they'd be good friends. Unfortunately your sister does not realize that by not giving her son structure and discipline she isn't doing anybody any favors. The best you can do is make sure that your son knows the rules and that he knows he always has a choice, he doesn't have to stick around if he doesn't like the way he's being treated. You can also be a good example when your nephew comes into your home and when he is in your care he follows the rules, no cussing, no name calling, no hitting, respect each other. etc. Let him know you expect him to behave and I bet he will, maybe he'll bring some of that back home with him. Anyway, don't be afraid to discipline him yourself. Good luck!