Private Parts Should Be Private...

I've struggled with this too, and have had several dismaying incidences with my own children (ages 5-girl, 3 and 1-boys). Unfortunately my daughter had her innocence violated at age 2 1/2 by an older boy at the library and thankfully was able to tell me about it. So I've had lots of these conversations, in part because I've found that her own boundaries about her private parts are not firm. My husband assures me that this "exploration" is normal, and that it's also important to teach our children healthy boundaries about their private parts.

I explain to them that, while toys are meant to be shared, bodies are not. Your body belongs only to you and to God. Nobody else. Private parts are especially special, and not for sharing. I like how you gave your child instructions on what to do if someone, adult or child, exposes private parts--leave immediately, and tell a trusted adult. When they ask why, so far I've just explained that a vagina leads to the womb where babies grow so it's a very special place. And that penises are very special (no you may NOT touch your brother's!) because they allow men to be Daddys. Sometimes I go on to say that private parts are very important and special, because they are the parts of our bodies that God uses to give us families, our most precious gift. I think later I will build on this to explain sex as a loving act that bonds a husband and wife and provides children, but for now I leave it there. (Of course, parents and doctors help children and babies care for their bodies until they are able to care for their own).

I think you handled the situation very well. Having been in a similar situation, I only regret the panic I felt, though I tried to be calm and firm for the sake of my children.

These are big issues. The important thing to convey to our kids is that they are loved, their bodies (and other people's bodies) are very special. The skill they will hopefully learn is how to treat their own bodies and others' with respect.
All the best to you!

WHen having this talk with my kids, we've usually used the bathing suit principal. If your swimsuit covers it, it is private and only mommy and the doctor with mommy there can look or touch elsewhere and you don't look or touch at other's swimsuit areas. Don't make the body dirty, just draw boundaries. Good luck!

I had this same problem with my son at that age. Although normal, it is quite embarassing for the parents. Keep talking to him about privacy. I also gave my son an anatomy book--very clinical, nothing naughty about it. They will have a natural curiosity that sould be addressed. This worked for us!

It's the adults who look at this kind of play as sexual, when all it is is natural exploration, don't make to much of it, just discuss, like you did, that certian spots on his body are only for mommy and daddy to see, don't forget the DR, one of mine got upset when the dr needed to check them because only mommy and daddy should, All kids do this to some degree, who the adults handle it will affect any future q's the child might have growing up, my house is very open when it comes to these topics, although always age appropriate, Don't make to much of it, your talk sounds like you did the right thing, it will probably happen again and when it does just explain to him again why it should be kept private.

I think you should calm down about it a little bit. It is normal to be curious and you don't want to make him feel bad about it or guilty. If you do, you may be setting him up for a screwed up look at sexuality as an adult. Just let him know that we don't do that in public and that it is private for adults only and that when he is an adult he can do that with is spouse. Didn't you play doctor as a child? I think most children do, they are just curious.

Exploration is very normal at this age, but it does need to be nipped in the butt. I'm not sure of what books there are.
I think the conversations you had with him were good, I'd keep that up.