My Children Overstepped Presonal Boudaries!!

Stay on top of this. They are young and you don't want to shame them, but you do want them to stop this behavior. I wish you the best. Good luck!

I think we need more info to say anything. Were they touching each other or what? The standing rule at my house is that it's fine to explore your body and that it's a wonderful thing, but that there are private areas and if you want to touch those -you need to go in the bathroom by yourself or in your bedroom by yourself.

Don't punish for sexuality. Don't. EVER. It's natural and human nature and totally age appropriate. Any time it happens, between siblings or with a friend, restate that private parts are private and we don't touch other peoples, and if anyone ever touches theirs, they should come strait to you. If you make them feel bad for exploring their bodies, you run the risk of also teaching them not to talk about it and they will be the exact victims a sexual predator is looking for :(

Sounds like you already read up that this sort of quasi-sexual exploration is totally normal amongst siblings. More nature shows (animals mating and sibs trying to figure out if their own body parts do the same sort of thing) have triggered this than anything else I've ever come across.

I think less "family conference" and more a "Hey guys, I'm sorry I yelled and freaked out the other night. It's still not something you should do, but you didn't know that and I overreacted. You guys weren't being bad, but those are things like driving a car, or going to college that are not for kids to be doing. So I reacted like I would if I found one of you trying to drive the car, or drink a beer. Whaaaa! Scary Mommy! You didn't know, so you're not in trouble, just don't do it again until you're GROWN UP, 'kay?... and I'm sorry I yelled." would smooth the waters more than create more drama than a whole formal family conference.

The thing about touching is that with sibs all about the same age, it's different than with an older child (teen) or an adult and small child. They're exploring and are active and willing participants, rather than being taken advantage of.

family conference time....explain what happened, how you reacted, & how you feel. By laying it all out .....being honest with the kids....should help. Tell them clearly what is expected of them....& the resulting punishment if not obeyed.

& talk to your doctor about your 4y.o. You do not want this behavior to follow her to KG.....the kids & parents WILL talk if it happens. & yes, it's normal, but needs to be contained. I wish you Peace!

I think the most important thing to ask the children is where have they seen this before. Let them know that it is ok to tell you the truth and that you wont get mad at them. Also if anyone has ever touched them there before other than mommy or daddy helping in the bathroom to clean them. You need to know if there is something going on with a friend or someone else that is inappropriate, so that you can keep your children safe. Hope this helps.

I just want to say that children dont always do things like this because they have seen this before, my 8 year old started to notice things about her body early on, my husband and I are very private and do not even watch rated pg movies infront of the kids unless we KNOW there is no nudity or sexual content, we beleive on age appropriate education and I caught my 8 year old under the bath tub water once if you know what I mean! I was so schocked, I didnt even know what to say so I walked out and laughed but inside I felt so nervous and worried. I asked her to stop and also asked her to tell me where she saw that and she said she didnt know, I asked her why she did it and she said it tickled. Some kids are more sexually aware of their bodies than others, I think we should not make big deal out of things like these but also set firm boundaries, in other words if I found both my kids doing innappropriate things in the same room or something like that I would be upset and set firm boundaries withouth shaming them but letting them know some things are NEVER ok. Not because sexuality is bad but because there is a time and place for everything and then there are things that are just NOT ok EVER. Dont beat yourself up, just talk to your kids and say you were worried and you over reacted and then tell them how they should behave. good luck.

I wouldnt worry to much about it Ive always heard that children are just exploring and it feels good to them the same way that it does for us. i think it's natural they would be curiuse as to what other peoople have. Just keep reinforcing the fact that they're private parts and to be kept to themselves. every parenting book ive read says dont shame the child for it and let them no its okay and natural if they touch themselves in there room...i dont totally agree with that last part but so ive read

You are right, this should not be tolerated, and I understand that it freaked you out and you didn't know how to handle it so you over reacted. Best strategy at this point. Don't be afraid to admit that you blew it. Sit your kids down and let them know that you're sorry for screaming at them and over reacting. Then let them know that their behavior was very inappropriate. Bodies are private and we are not to show those parts to other people or touch them. You understand that they are curious about all of this and you'll be willing to talk to them about any of their questions.

Start looking for some good books to read with your kids about bodies, reproduction anything. It might be a bit young, but honestly since they're already experimenting/curious, you need to deal with this now before they start finding out more on their own with each other or friends.

Keep this very open and scientific. The more you freak out about it the more they'll go into hiding. They're curious, as we all were, so be sure that they're comfortable asking YOU about all this stuff and not going to each other. The older two kids should be capable of communicating more with you about all of this. I'd seriously consider having them go see a good counselor who works with children. You need to find out what all is going on or has been going on with them sexually. You don't want to just ignore all of this.

Also see if you can fix the sleeping arrangement so they are not in the same beds/room if possible. This is something that might have started a while ago and it needs to be nipped in the bud.

Lastly, talk to your kids friends and teachers. It needs to go on their radar so that they're not allowing your kids to be alone with other kids where more of this might happen. I'm not suggesting that your kids are dangerous, there might be a friend of one of the older ones who is initiating this behavior. Whatever, they just need to be watched at all times. And find out what your kids friends are doing and if there are some issues there.

Best wishes. You're a good mom for dealing with this!

I agree with the family conference. Bring it out into the open, talk about it with dad present. Give everyone a chance to talk and then you and dad can calmly express how serious it is that they don't touch other's private parts. Tell your children to come tell you immediately if anyone touches them or asks them to touch someone else; even if its a sibling.

You're doing fine. Don't be hard on yourself for yelling. Just make sure you speak calmly about it tomorrow. The yelling may even help them to understand the seriousness. You can say, "Mommy shouldn't have yelled, but you need to understand this is something you must not do!"