Preschool Teacher Clique

Isn't it sad that the 'high school' thing never ends? I totally understand how you feel... I taught kindergarten a few years ago and there was a TOTAL clique among the teachers (that I was never a part of).

I'm a preschool teacher and I can't believe the teacher is treating you this way !!!

Maybe you can try to make her think about her ignoring you by saying something like "I hope I don't make you uncomfortable talking to me....I actually am really easy going !!!!"

If you can't or don't want to approach her, I would just go to the director and tell her.....

You shouldn't feel uncomfortable with your son's teacher and the teacher should make the parent feel comfortable about leaving their child in her care....we always make a point to smile and talk to each parent !!!!!!

I had to deal with this last year when my triplets were in preschool. We're a military family in a civilian community who has known each other forever. I didn't have this problem with my older two boys.

The teacher seemed as nice as pie but I noticed immediately that some parents were back with their younger children and the teacher knew them and would chat it up a lot. Some of us weren't in the "clique" apparently. There were many times I would ask how my kids were doing and she wouldn't even turn around to look at me and acknowledge me. She'd just keep her back to me and turn her head around a bit to answer me. It got to the point when I really wanted/needed to talk to her I'd just rudely interupt her and her chatting about non-school things and the giggling and just get in her face and ask her what I needed to know. She didn't seem to care for that but kept a smile on her face. I'm sorry, but my kids are her students and school related discussions are more important than chatting with a mom about what fun you did last weekend! Blah.

The moms I wasn't as concerned with. All were younger than me but were nice enough IF they chose to talk to me. I was 44 last year and a grandmother so having those first time mom conversations about which diaper is best did not interest me. I didn't go out of my way to talk to them but if they did talk to me I was nice as pie! I wasn't there to make friends since I knew we were moving the following year (now) but even if we weren't moving none of them, except one, were people I had things in common with to chat it up. So I didn't mind the cliques with the parents. As long as they were snippy and rude then I didn't care.

It was the teacher that I found rude with her clique attitude. She is suppose to be open to all parents equally and focus on school related things. So I wouldn't worry so much about the parents as I would about the teacher. Just demand her attention.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

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I always send the teachers little gifts. It makes me happy to do it, but i suppose there is also the part that things maybe i can butter them up a little.

Isn't it crazy how much we want the teachers to like us and our babies. I would be very bothered by this too, But i can't see a good solution for you.

Volunteer as much as you can, and compliment her alot. Like you said at least your son likes her.

I'm an older mom, and in our new rural area, at 40, the ladies my age picking up kids are grandparents, which is weird, because all of our city friends had kids even later than us, but anyway. The young moms and teachers definitely hang together and ignore me pretty much, but to be honest, I so don't care or notice it.
I'm sort of relieved because to be honest, I have all my old friends and activities and work lined up already, I hardly have time to make new younger friends. I grit my teeth and attend some birthday parties. I'm the only one approaching people and asking about themselves and their kids while they act like deer in headlights aside from the strained polite minimum responses. I would die if there were more obligations or play dates outside of school right now.
They are young and bonding as new young moms, and that's fine. The teacher isn't rude to me, but I definitely have to approach her with a direct question if I need to and that's' OK. Just stay cheerful smile and be friendly to everyone and don't sweat it!
People these days sometimes don't seem to know how to be outwardly social and mature like they used to imo, we've attended some parties and events with no manners whatsoever for people who are new, whereas things we host or attend with older people, guests feel obligated to go outside of their cliques out of social grace---sorry to sound like a bitter granny, but I remember my mom always making a point of reaching out to everyone when she was a young mom and telling me it was important, it's different times. People are clique-ish and don't go out of their way. Don't let it stop you from reaching out and being a good example. Just remember, "People who are uninterested are often uninteresting."

If your son didn't like the school, I'd say just switch, but b/c it sounds like he likes it, I would say its definitely worth working on. Open communication with his teacher is very important, so I would talk the teacher and let her know that would like to be able to have more communication with her... maybe suggest a phone conference now and then, or see if there is an email you can communicate with her through. If she refuses, or gives you her phone/email, but doesn't follow through, THEN I would go to the director. Good luck!

It happens all the time. High school is never really over is it? Those cliques are annoying but when the teachers act like that then they are being complete asses. I feel for you because your kid is liking the teacher, yet she is not very communicative with you. Realize that it's only a year with her and it might get better.

Hi, W.:
Talk with your son about how you feel and ask him if he has
any suggestions.

On the other hand, Tell the particular teacher how you feel. Just what you said to us. Tell her what you need. That would help her to be aware of her behavior towards you.

Are you sensitive because you are an older mom?

Just want to know.
Good luck.
D.

Ask about email? if she is young she may use that a lot to communicate. are you asking about your child or about schedules or? Maybe the other moms are just making small talk and not asking questions? maybe she doesnt feel it's appropriate to talk about your child during drop off and pick up? make an apt to talk to her if you have concerns about your child and his adjustment or development or socializing in the class. Only If things dont get better -talk to director. I am a working mom and cant chat at pick up drop off so I LOVE it when they have newsletters on the internet