Pregnant with #3 During a Bad Time!

Updated on September 09, 2009
H.J. asks from Saint Paul, MN
4 answers

So here is the story! Found out a month ago that my husband lost his job, I have/am a SAHM. No warning or anything they just let him go. We are now moved back closer to family after living on the west coast. Both jobless and just before he lost his job we had planned and conceiving another child. Now if we knew he was going to get laid off or had any inkling that it would happened we would not have tried for another one at this time. Well God has other plans for us. Now we are chillin out in the in-laws :( basement until one of us finds a job out here. Tough times for all and still no luck but with how sick I get while pregnant I know we will have to tell the family soon! At least the ones we live with. Do I just let them find out on their own or should we just spill the beans. The main reason we are having a hard time with this decision is back in Feb I had and IUD failure and became pregnant but miscarried and they were not happy about that one and that wasn't even planed. I never thought with how good my husbands job was going that we would end up being pregnant with our third living with family! I am just 5 weeks along now but getting full on symptoms. How do you tell family when most don't think having more then two is o.k.!!! Thanks for any help!

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B.F.

answers from Minneapolis on

I just found out that Im pregnant with #4 and understand what you are going through. I wasnt sure we were going to have another but it was discussed. If we did it, it wasnt going to be for a few months. Well, here I am pregnant with family that feels the same way yours does. We have not told anyone but they always hinted that 2-3 was enough for us. I decided that I am going to wait as long as I can to tell anyone just because I dont want to deal with their negative feelings. You should be happy that you are pregnant even if it is at a bad time. You and/or your husband will find a job. Tell them when you feel comfortable and remember that it's your family!

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T.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

I definitely think you should tell them and not have it be a big secret or something they accidently find out about. Be honest. Explain that it was a decision you made (ie, not an accident) when your husband was employed, and now that you are in a different situation, it's not something you can change, but will have to adapt to. Everyone has different ideas of how many children you should have - this is YOUR family and YOUR plan, not theirs. People have raised large families for generations on next to nothing. It can be done. Get what help you can while your hubby is unemployed, but have him get out there looking hard and possibly even taking a job that is beneath him for the time being - either for insurance or for the paycheck to help get you back on your feet and not into further debt. Congratulations on the newly expected baby!

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J.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

?
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D.R.

answers from Minneapolis on

I haven't read other responses yet, but I'm sure you'll have many of the same. How are YOU feeling about the pregnancy? Your family's opinions are just that - opinions. You and your husband need to do what's comfortable for you, when it feels right, but generally honesty is the best policy. Its not like you could become unpregnant just because they're not happy about it, so them being negative is not going to change anything. If they chose two kids or less, good for them. This one's not their decision. Does it sound like I'm defensive for you? Ok, so I guess conflict is not going to help the situation any, but neither is being all stressed out worrying about his family's negative comments. The situation you're in is unfortunate, but the circumstances as you explained them are totally understandable, and things will work out, because they always do. All three of your children will grow up appreciative, because for a while they couldn't have all the space they wanted and all the toys they wanted. All they need is love (and food, clothes, and diapers!).

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